Ok so me and my DP have been together just over 3 years, have a beautiful DD together and are generally very happy. However his ‘ex’ caused a lot of problems for us in the beginning of our relationship and was really nasty and I can’t seem to let it go.
So I knew of my DP before we started dating as he was dating a friend of a friend (we will call her A). Him and A were sleeping together for a while but never properly together. A and I had a mutual friend but A and I never got on, I made the effort to be friends but she wasn’t interested and ignored me. I drifted apart from mutual friend and gave it all no more thought. About a year later I was out with some other friends, ran into my now DP, got to chatting and found out him and A we’re no longer seeing each other but had remained friends. We started chatting and started up in a relationship, all good.
A took massive issue with us being together, she made up some really nasty lies about me - saying I slept around, I had tried to steal mutual friends boyfriend, I self harmed for attention and showed of scars (I was suffering with depression and did have some self harm scars but have never showed them of and would certainly never show / speak about it with her) this was all very hurtful, especially as A used social media to show of how mental health positive she was but yet was using this to drag me down.
DP told me all the things she said, we spoke about it, I explained it was all BS and he believed me. I really didn’t like A at that point but DP thought she was just looking out for him and she genuinely believed these things about me so she was being nice trying to warn him.
Anyway throughout the next 6 months of our relationship she was just a nightmare, sending him sexual messages, photos of her just in a towel, calling him drunk in the middle of the night etc. It got to the point I had to say it’s me or her. So he told her he couldn’t maintain the friendship and blocked her.
Then last year she tried getting in contact again. I was going through and ectopic pregnancy at this time which was really hard and this was just another thing on top that I really didn’t need. It has also been almost 2 years of no contact, why can’t she just let go?
Anyway, we haven’t had any contact since then but every now and then me or my partner will get a like from her on Instagram even though she doesn’t follow either of us so obviously snooping. It’s just so frustrating to me. She’s been an awful person and basically been allowed to get away with it, whilst painting me as the controlling gf who made DP stop talking to her. I know it’s been a long time but I just can’t let it go, I still think about it a lot and just have so much anger for this girl trying to ruin my relationship.
AIBU for holding onto this resentment? I know it’s petty but I really want to get back at her but idk how.
Sorry this was super long and rambley