To complain to hospital two years after birth

[Helpmelmaooo]

Hi all
I gave birth in 2017, my child is almost two. I’m recently pregnant with my second and have been looking at different hospitals and only now have realised the difference between my first birth and births my friends have had at different hospitals and what different hospitals describe their maternity experience as. The hospital I’m looking to give birth at next year claim to give you your own room to labour and give birth in from when you come in to when you leave (you would be moved to a different room to recover as they would obviously need the birthing room but you still get a private room). My friends and family members which have given birth here support this.
My experience was v different, at the time I thought it was normal but now I’m thinking I was neglected!
So my experience was this - went into hospital lunchtime to be induced, waited around 6 hours to actually be induced as they only had one heart monitor, taking me to 32 hours after my waters had gone. I was on a ward with about 7 other people the whole time.
Went into labour within half hour of being induced, contractions labour lasted 12 hours before pushing. During this time I asked for painkillers at about 8pm, waited around two hours for them to bring me paracetamol (??!!). Within the hour I was obviously in agony again but no one had come to check on me and no one was on the ward so my partner went to ask, again waited two hours for them to bring pethadin then was left again. At this point I was screaming in agony every time I had a contraction, no one else on the ward was in labour (bed rest/waiting for induction/c section?) and the lights were off with everyone trying to sleep. I felt awful like I was disturbing people. Around midnight or 1am ish I actually got up myself to go and ask in the office for an epidural as I wasn’t coping, they sent me back to bed telling me they would request someone to bring me up to the delivery room and administer epidural. I was then ignored til about 5.15am with no one coming to see me about the epidural. Someone eventually remembered me and came to bring me to the delivery room for an epidural only for my baby to be born 15 mins later. My body was actually attempting to push while I was on the ward but it was my first baby and I didn’t realise, just assumed it was contractions making me writhe.
I feel like if I hadn’t had asked for an epidural I would have given birth in the ward in front of 7 other people.
For two weeks after this I felt anxious and traumatised. I even had dihorreah every time I thought of my time in labour.
Tell me if I’m being ridiculous or if I have means to complain?

At the very least you should go and talk it through with someone. When I had my daughter, I ended up in surgery and then intensive care, and was offered the “After thoughts” service. You can access it any time, if I remember correctly. It might shed more light on what was going on, because what you are describing sounds truly awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Forgot to say they did give me gas and air at the same time as the pethadin too just in case anyone was wondering why it wasn’t offered

@Areyoufree thank you I will look into that, I am giving birth at a different hospital this time round but now I’m pregnant again I think my anxiety about that night is flaring up again! I think I’m going to request my notes back too so I can have a proper look through and get exact times pain relief was given etc and try ans match it up with Any texts I’d sent my mum ( I was telling her when I needed painkillers and when I’d had them or asked for them etc )

Never heard of anyone giving birth in a ward full of other women! Were they so busy they had no delivery rooms free? I was put onto a ward with other women separated by curtains once my first baby was born - but with both labours I had a private room whilst actually labouring. I can’t imagine that’s normal any where?!

That’s alone would be grounds for complaint, but along with everything else I’d definitely complain.

I just feel that for a straight forward birth with no complications the labour should have been less traumatic. After I gave birth I was given a private room for recovery and told “people usually pay £175 a night for this room but you can have it because it’s free at the moment”.

That sounds horrendous. I would definitely complain.

I do think you should discuss your experience with someone, but you are too late to complain. The hospital will not be obliged to investigate a complaint from 2 years ago.

@Birthdaycakemondays yeah was on that same ward from when I arrived to 15 mins before baby came. I’m not sure if the delivery rooms were busy as they told me they were taking me there at 11pm as I was apparently getting close then decided to leave me TIL 5.15am.

Where I am it's the same with the ward. You go onto the antenatal ward in early labour or for early induction and then when they decide you are in established labour you are moved to the delivery suite to a private room to continue labouring and birth.
I have no complaint about the treatment in my hospital had various complications and at times there was delays in labour at 28 weeks and no room on the delivery suite but thankfully they managed to stop the labour !

However i spent the last couple of months in pregnancy on the antenatal ward and what you have described I witnessed a lot. Women being left to labour on an open ward and not being listened to ...asking for pain relief and not getting it for ages and in one case the lady opposite me was clearly very near to delivery even I could tell that (her first baby my 2nd) the poor girl was in agony the midwife gave her some paracetomol told her it was the early stages induction can cause strong contractions etc .....about 15 minutes later the lady was pushing !!! The midwife ran back in and all the girls belongings were chucked on the bed along with a tank of gas and air and they literally ran to the delivery suite ....the midwife came back onto the ward a short time later and aparently the girl had delivered before they got to the delivery suite ! I felt it was truly unacceptable and undignified that she delivered in a corrider or in a lift with no privacy at all because they didn't listen to her very valid concerns !

So it's not only your hospital op (unless yours is the same as mine !) It seems they are just under so much pressure and shortage of rooms on delivery suite leads to delays on getting women in there so essentially they aren't moving ladies until they are literally about to birth !

I think you should go to an 'afterthoughts' or 'debrief' where a senior midwife/matron will go through your notes and explain what happened. I had an awful time with my first with several clear acts of negligence which I wont go into through fear of terrifying expectant parents. I did feel that the debrief was biased (and it shouldn't have been) and, like you, through the whole situation I was led to believe the way I was being treated was normal. my mum even cried after she visited because in her words 'it looked like id been in a car accident'.

Its difficult to say whether a complaint would get you anywhere, maybe at best you would get a half hearted apology, at worst you would leave feeling like its your fault or you're 'too sensitive'. The best advice I could give is to say that you have taken control and are going to be giving birth at a different hospital with a better track record. I am lucky in a way that this decision was made for me when I had my second baby. Counselling may help if you are feeling like you need to talk through it after your debrief. Trauma really does stick with you and unfortunately it will be left with you to do what you have to in order to 'get over' it.

sending love
x

At the very least you can complain to PALS, the patient liaison service. They may not be obliged to investigate at this stage but you can register your complaint and it will be read. I was encouraged to do so about an incident I experienced by a doctor in my family more than two years after the event.

Sorry you had to go through that OP, it sounds awful and I am not surprised you feel very anxious about giving birth again. You should certainly talk your concerns through your new antenatal team.

I had similar experience but ended in emcs

Whole thing was terrible

I keep writing and deleting it was 13 years ago still raises emotions.

Yes complain. You are still affected by what was done. Yes complain.

Go and visit the places, get recommendations. Get some power back somehow.

I had an elective dc2 and for me, that was great. Know this is a divisive subject. Just putting it out there.

I wouldn’t complain. My sister is a midwife and it’s devastating when people complain. It’s cuts that’s the problem - staff shortages, but it’s the staff who were on who get into trouble for complaints even though it’s the big bosses making cuts fault for not having more staff.

Both you and your child survived.

Not the benchmark of great care! I think we are all entitled to expect a bit more on entering NHS hospitals than mere survival. (Or is it just women to whom this standard of care applies?)

The hospital owed the OP safe care and dignity. It sounds as though it failed on both counts even though the ultimate outcome was ok.

I can’t stand when women talk about their birth experiences. Both you and your child survived.
And I can't stand when women belittle other women for being mentally harmed. In this day and age, with all the technology we have in a first world country it shouldn't be an achievement for a woman and child to both survive a natural process.

OP does the hospital offer a debrief service? There's little point complaining now, as it's unlikely the same people will even be working there. As others have said, it's common for women to be told they're not in pushing stage/to be ignored when they ask for pain relief in the UK (unfortunately). It doesn't mean your issues are invalid, but a complaint probably won't get anywhere or achieve anything and you're unlikely to get an apology or the closure you're seeking.
Take control, go to a different hospital this time, and put in your birth plan exactly what you want (e.g. pain relief when asked for). Hopefully it'll be better this time around.

Complain, worst case you’re too late, best case you’re not, nothing really to lose!

I hope you have a much better experience this time round xx

Sounds exactly like my labour and birth, I honestly thought it was all normal! It was awful and I will never go through it again, but I didn't think it was anything to do with the hospital. More that I was pushing a tiny human out my body.

@meccacos2 oh come on you can't be for real
Have you given birth yourself ? What was your experience
If you look at it like she went into a hospital for a medical procedure and was ignored and dismissed scared and traumatized you wouldn't think it was ok would you?
But because it's childbirth and everyone went home ok that's it ?

I wouldn’t complain. My sister is a midwife and it’s devastating when people complain. It’s cuts that’s the problem - staff shortages, but it’s the staff who were on who get into trouble for complaints even though it’s the big bosses making cuts fault for not having more staff.

I totally disagree with this as a HCP. If people don’t complain then things don’t change. I will ALWAYS listen to my patients / relatives concerns and complaints and advise them, as per our Trust’s policy as to what to do next. We are our patient’s advocates after all.

OP - this sounds awful. I really feel for you. As it’s obviously still affecting you (and I totally get why) then I think you should get in touch with the maternity unit and ask for a debrief. My SIL had her daughter a year ago and it wasn’t a great experience at all. She had a debrief with a senior midwife a couple of months ago and found it really helpful.

Good luck

I can’t stand when women talk about their birth experiences. Both you and your child survived.

Well do feel free to fuck off then @meccacos2 You are not the judge of how the OP should or shouldn’t feel.

OP, I don’t know about complaining as I’m not familiar with the procedure but I do think your experience sounds horrendous and it wasn’t normal ime. The idea of talking it through with a liaison person or similar sounds good.

@cheeseandpickle247 I completely understand this however it wasn’t down to the ward being short staffed, as every time I went past the office there were tons of staff playing games on their phones. I think it was more down to pure laziness. There were about 16 women on the unit (8 in prenatal where I was and 8 in the recovery bit) and maybe 6 or 7 staff sat in the office at one time. One poor student midwife was going round all 16 beds. She left at about 8pm to go home and was back when I returned to recovery the next morning

@meccacos2 yes it was two years ago and I have spent two years convincing myself this traumatic experience was normal. Now I’m pregnant again I’m terrified about going into labour and experiencing that again. The NHS have a duty of care, not just “survival”. You clearly have low expectations and I really hope your birth experience (if you’ve had one) was a lot better than mine!

What would you hope to achieve through a complaint OP? What would be your ideal outcome from this?

Answer that question and then ask yourself if you think that is in any way realistic. If it is then maybe put in a complaint, if it isn't then why even bother to waste precious NHS time on this?

It was 2 years ago!!

I can’t stand when women talk about their birth experiences. Both you and your child survived.

The hospital didn’t owe you an “experience” to rival that of your friends and family.

Well don't you sound delightful if you can't stand women talking about their birth experiences, why the fuck have you read this and actually commented on this thread? I'm pretty sure you could have understood the post through the tittle before clicking and composing a stupid, ridiculous comment and then posting on the thread too... blatantly that comment alone is not true. Horrible little troll you are.

OP I'm sending you love that sounds awful, I too was induced but didn't have an experience in the induction suite (I assume that's the Ward with other women on you are talking about) like you. That sounds so bad. I would definitely get in touch with your hospital for a debrief meeting, I had one around 6 weeks after giving birth & got the closure I needed. I had quite a few complications so a consultant went through mine, could be the same at yours though. I do hope you too get the closure you need though