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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think karma is a joke?

23 replies

PinkGlitter123 · 03/10/2019 21:38

I was used and lied to heavily by a friend now they are having the best time. Deeply in love with an adoring partner, work going fantastically, close to their family and always going on holidays and fun trips as their work are very lenient on time off. Karma is a joke right? How can they act so badly yet have everything go their way and be so genuinely happy?

OP posts:
MT2017 · 03/10/2019 21:51

Meant kindly but I really think you need to get over this situation and move on.

PinkGlitter123 · 03/10/2019 21:53

It's not that easy. Can't help but feel angry even thought I know its only hurting me

OP posts:
Hundredacrewoods · 03/10/2019 21:53

Agree with PP Flowers Also, just because their life appears to be going well now doesn’t mean it always will.

PatriciaHolm · 03/10/2019 21:53

As above. You have posted multiple times about this. Nothing anyone here says seems to make any difference.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/10/2019 21:55

Your resentment is only hurting you. The other person isn’t giving you any thought at all. I’d try and move on...

PinkGlitter123 · 03/10/2019 21:55

Hardly multiple times, I am just fed up. I am a good, decent person but get so much heartache and pain from it. I may as well be a nasty cow. Would have a better life

OP posts:
TemporaryPermanent · 03/10/2019 22:02

Karma isn't a real thing and nobody ever promised it was.

I'm sorry you were hurt. Nobody gets through life without some crap coming their way. Life in general works better if we are kind and thoughtful people, but it doesn't work like a vending machine.

IncognitaIgnorama · 03/10/2019 22:04

Karma doesn't mean what you think it means - it doesn't refer to the current life time.

Don't give them headspace they don't deserve.

PinkGlitter123 · 03/10/2019 22:05

Thank you. I know I am being stupid and shouldn't have posted again.
I just feel deeply fed up and hurt, I know I need to get off Facebook too. It just doesnt help.

I am sorry. I don't want to be annoying

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 03/10/2019 22:07

Karma doesn't cost. Everyone lives their lives individually.

Someone was nasty to you so now just focus on ditching them and living your life.

Cleverplayonwords · 03/10/2019 22:12

Karma doesn't exist.

You need to work on your own happiness

WTCT · 03/10/2019 22:20

I’m not sure I believe in karma, but at one point in my life, many years ago, I felt as you did now.

What helped me was reading....

How you act is your karma. How they act is theirs.

Turned out... many years later... to have a ring of truth to it.

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 22:42

A few things:

  1. Karma is a nonsense - Donald Trump was born a billionaire and is now the POTUS. Martin Luther King was assassinated.
  1. The people who invest a lot of time in telling the world how amazing their life is via social media are generally trying to convince themselves more than anyone else. Don't take it at face value.
  1. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The only person it hurts is you. Invest the energy in finding your own happiness - it may not look anything like you thought it would.
ginandbearit · 03/10/2019 22:56

Karma's not real ...what goes around doesnt always come around ...good things do happen to bad people and bad things often happen to good peope ...lifes not fair .
Haven't read your other thread so dont know the background but I'm sorry you're going through something so painful for you , I hope you can break free from it soon.

Do everything you can to block and remove any contact or reminder of them , get really busy and fill every moment you can with work or distracting activities , have one person you can talk to or a counsellor to vent to ....it wil be ok .

zxcvhjkl · 03/10/2019 23:06

Bad things happen to everyone at some point. So things might be going well for them for now. It won't always be that way. Whatever has happened you need to let it go, and yes, get rid of Facebook or at least block whoever or whatever is bothering you.

The best revenge is a life well lived - so get on and live it.

PinkGlitter123 · 03/10/2019 23:11

Thank you. And sorry again.

OP posts:
Autumn2019 · 04/10/2019 00:07

My understanding of Karma is that it is a hindu/buddhist/sikh/jaina concept, and basically means what goes around comes around, if not in the current life then the next. These religions believe in rebirth and Samsara/Moksha/Nirvana. So if indeed there is a next birth then your friend may or may not be so happy - if there is any truth in Karma!

However, what has happened to you has happened to a lot of people. I am sure you are not the only person who has been used by people claiming to be their friends. Take it as an opportunity to learn a life lesson on how to choose your friends more carefully and not allow yourself to be used in future. Please don't wallow in bitterness - bitterness eats the soul.

You say your friend is genuinely happy but we all know life is full of ups and downs and joy and sorrow, and i doubt anyones life is perfect, even though it may seem perfect. In the words of Khalil Gibran :

"
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. "

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 04/10/2019 06:52

Karma is meant to affect your next life, not this one. So maybe she’ll come back as a slug 🤷‍♀️ Agree with PPs that she’s happy because she’s moved on and you’re not because you haven’t.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 04/10/2019 07:05

OP, stop apologising! What you feel is entirely understandable. It's also trite to say 'let it go' and 'move on' but it is pretty much true. I felt this way about XH as he left me in near poverty and very alone. His life fell right into place and he got everything he wanted, very quickly. However, I just got on with my life and made it better. I rarely think about him now and I have what I wanted in my life. He and his present wife will always know that they partnered up by cheating and lies but I will never have that niggle in my mind in the quiet moments. So by just not giving the headspace to twats, you win by default! No karma involved.

LabellaChicca · 04/10/2019 07:12

Hey @PinkGlitter123 Karma IS real! Don’t worry, the Universe will take care of them in its own time! I just found out today that Karma took care of someone that fucked me up 13 years ago. Someone who gloated and boasted and was proud to have fuckwd me (and like...not just a bit...) So don’t worry. I know it is hard, it took me 8 years to “get over it” completely but this! This is gold, and I am avenged!! So will you

Spinderellacutituponetime · 04/10/2019 07:23

You do know Facebook is a pile of crap? Nothing anyone posts on there is real and folk like to paint a perfect picture of their lives..it’s impossible to tell what’s really going on behind the scenes. Get off FB. That will help big time.

Waitingforadulthood · 04/10/2019 08:30

I don't believe in karma. Though if I did I would consider ardently wishing hurt upon others as a thing to invite it to ones self.

I know you are hurt, but moving on and getting in with your life is the answer. Not wishing hurt upon those who hurt you.

Fizzypoo · 04/10/2019 08:37

It almost feels like these are intrusive thoughts OP.

Can you get some CBT? Your dr will be able to refer you. You could also get a book put the library to make a start whilst you wait.

Everytime you have these thoughts about this person replace the thought with something nice. You will eventually stop caring.

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