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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable

11 replies

Noanswerslotsofquestions · 03/10/2019 14:20

So....
I’ll try and be short. I started seeing someone 4 months ago. At the time she said she had separated in Jan, it subsequently can out she had ‘finally’ separated a week before we met.

There were some things we rushed into, like introducing our kids, who all get along amazingly. And others, like meeting friends which she has strongly resisted.

Anyway, she has always made time for us, until the last few weeks. Now whenever there is a calendar conflict I get cancelled on, although she calls it rescheduling - but no dates end up being put in the calendar and there is always an excuse as to why no dates are forthcoming.

We have had some rows about it as well as some adult conversations. But nothing has changed.

She says I am being unreasonable - as we spend 2 or 3 nights in each other’s company. Which is me going to her place and waiting while she puts the kids to bed.

I just don’t understand why I’m the one who always get rescheduled. I’ve tried talking to her, but she gets defensive and aggressive and says things like she doesn’t know if the relationship will work rather than discussing the issue.

Any insights appreciated?

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/10/2019 14:22

4 months? Cut & run.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 03/10/2019 14:25

Probably shagging the ex. Stupid to introduce kids so soon.

Call it quits and move on

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 03/10/2019 14:28

gets defensive and aggressive

This is more than enough to move on.

TheMustressMhor · 03/10/2019 14:32

Sorry, OP. In the nicest possible way it doesn't seem as though she's as keen on you as you are on her.

Probably time to call it a day.

Hairyhat · 03/10/2019 14:38

Maybe she's putting her children first? Maybe in this early stage of the relationship she feels she sees you enough?
I'm not sure but if it seems unfair and that you're always last in line, perhaps you're incompatible?

Countrylifeornot · 03/10/2019 14:43

She's just not that into you, you're a rebound relationship to save her being alone.

SherbetSaucer · 03/10/2019 15:19

Four months and the kids have already been introduced?? Big NO!! The reason you don’t introduce kids so early is to prevent their involvement in a break up such as the one that you’re imminently facing! Try and be more responsible next time!

KUGA · 03/10/2019 15:19

yep.move on.

CAG12 · 03/10/2019 15:39

Time to move on I think. Sorry, seems like you invested a lot into this quite early on, but sounds like that type of fast and furious relationship that burns out quickly

Livelovebehappy · 03/10/2019 15:39

Cancelling happens when you’re a single parent relying on child care. She probably has a lot of stuff happening behind the scenes if the breakup has been recent, and is getting stressed and angry with you because she feels you’re putting pressure on her amongst everything else. Just give her a bit more space to sort her life out or you risk pushing her away.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/10/2019 15:44

Too much hard work and headache for such a new relationship. Don't be daft. Bin her off.

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