To not always give DD aged 15 money?

[HennyPennyHorror]

We're in Oz, it's the school holidays here. They've got two weeks off. In the first part of this, the first week, she's had two lots of cash from me for trips out with her mates. Not insignificant amounts...think 30 quid twice.

I can't afford to keep doing that when she wants to go out with her mates. They tend to go to town a lot which means not only topping up her travel card but giving her money for drinks/lunch whatever.

Now she says they're going again on Saturday...and my heart sinks!

She wants a job ...which would be great as she could pay for herself more...but it's not easy for teens ...but she's not tried THAT hard to get a job. WIBU to not keep giving her cash for these trips? I will be left short if I do this week again.

I wouldn;t mind a tenner or something for a trip closer to home but going to the city here is more of a big deal and they need more cash...whereas if she were just to go to our local shopping centre, that's much less cash.

How do you manage this?

Give her a fixed amount every month and expect her to manage. Does she not have a dad?

Rach she does have a Dad but he works away in the week a lot. If he's here she's as likely to ask him as me.

I don't earn a set amount monthly as I'm self employed so it's hard to manage a monthly payment. Sometimes clients are slow to pay...so she'll be there with her hand out and I'll be waiting to get paid.

DH pays most bills, my money goes to the children in general and groceries and Christmas costs.

I think she is old enough to know about managing money, maybe give her an amount weekly depending on what you can afford, perhaps start it low and if you have extra she can do some jobs to earn it? At the end of the day I don't think it's unfair to expect her to be understanding of your financial situation and she is lucky to have one trip a week worth £30. It must be hard when her friends can do it multiple times though! Maybe in the meantime help/encourage her to find a job? I hope she is successful in getting one soon.

Of course you’re allowed to say no, they’re not small amounts of money either .
I agree about giving her a set amount each month and she has to budget. If she runs out of cash then oh well ! She’ll soon learn

Yes give her a set amount of say, £75 (in AUD) per month or £15-25 a week, whichever you think is best and tell her it’s down to her to manage. Maybe write a list of chores for her to do for the money? Could end up being helpful for you and dh (more help round the house) and also she gets to manage her own budget. Make it explicitly clear that if she fails to budget it and it runs out too fast she won’t get any more until the next allowance day. And don’t give in if she strops or whines about it (as that’ll just teach her bad money management) she may have a big blow out the first month then realise she’ll spend the month skint, she won’t make the same mistake again.
That’s how i’d do it anyway, beneficial for everyone and she learns basic budgeting skills that’ll see her well into adulthood

So you've given her 60 quid already this week and now she's asking for what? Another 30, that you can't afford? You do know it's not against the law to say 'no' to our kids sometimes, don't you?

Give her regular allowance and leave it up to her to spend or save up. You could give her jobs around the house to do for cash. Wash the car? Clean all the windows? Gardening?

You definitely need to give her an allowance as PP have said, it will be less stressful for you and she'll learn to manage her money. Make sure it's clear what she's expected to pay for out of it. E.g. clothes? Going out? Toiletries? School stuff?

Definitely give her an allowance at the beginning of the week. You can vary it depending on how much you have, she's plenty old enough to understand your finances and that your income can be irregular. Say £20 a week and if she wants to go for a day out that costs £30 then she will need to save up over two weeks. Sounds like she really needs to learn the value of money.

Even if you can afford it,saying no at times is a good idea.
The more you give the more they take.
If you give all the time the first time you say no you will be classed as an arse.
Believe me iv`e seen it first hand.

had this with DD1, who's 16

constant money for cinema, pizza, nandos....

so we agreed £10 a week pocket money (straight into her account, she has a switch card), then she has to work out what she can afford.

think her friends reached similar points

since then, they're going out to eat much less, they might go into town and have hot choc/milkshake, or they go to each others house in the evenings, and will get a dominos pizza between them

it's worked well, and she's still managing to save some for trainers/"trendy" clothes/theme park tickets etc

have also done the same for DS14 (who now has a current account/switch card) and DS10 (who has a rooster card)

not having cash in their hands means they seem to spend less/more sensibly, and they're more organised about doing stuff with friends.

obvs we would still pay for some stuff for them (trampolining, special meals out), but much less frequently (say once every couple of months)

she's old enough to learn to budget, if she gets weekly/monthly pocket money she could have saved some of that up previous weeks before the holiday began.

Your DD's already had £60 this week...that's more than a lot of adults can afford to spend on socialising in a week! Start putting these kinds of amounts aside and use it to pay her a regular allowance during times when your clients are slow to pay. You're doing her no favours by letting her act like there's a magic money tree.

Just be honest with her and tell her you can't afford it or you dont have the money. Everyone goes through hardships in life, if she doesn't know that yet then it's about time she did.