Wedding photos

[Mrsmadevans]

Getting married soon. My Sister has bought the most beautiful bridesmaid dress for herself. I had no say in what she wants to wear , l am not paying for it and it is her choice. It costs as much as my wedding dress and is truly beautiful. I believe it/she is going to 'outshine ' me. I haven't said anything nasty about it but do feel a bit meh about it because who does that to their little sister. Anyway. She wants to use our official wedding photographer to take pictures of her and her DH at our wedding and because l object l am branded jealous. I just wondered what others feel about it. If l am being jealous then surely it is understandable . Thank you for your thoughts. I feel it's very unfair of her and my Mum to not understand my feelings 😔

what colour is her dress?

Speak with the photographer, you are the client. Any decent photographer will want to concentrate on the one job they are booked for, your wedding, and not taking on another job on top.

If she ever mentions jealousy again, ask her why on earth she needs to make YOUR wedding about her, it's one day, she'll have her turn. Is she jealous that you are getting married first?

Have you got other bridesmaids? Time to gather a couple of very close friends, and dress them in obvious bridesmaid dress with matching flower girl - the wedding party always outshine any ridiculous guest. (even if they are wearing a bright red dress cut so high you can see their leopard print underwear, talking about you Liz Hurley - still cringey so many years later)

Stop worrying, she won’t outshine you. She will look beautiful I’m sure but you are the bride and I’m sure you will look the best. Unless she is in ivory or white or a ball gown (in which case tell her to buy something else) she will not outshine you.

Say to her that your photographer will take a photo of her and her oh but if she wants an actual photo shoot then here is his number and please can you do it on another day.

As well as the usual wedding photos, I got our wedding photographer to take separate photos of couples, families and groups of friends. We thought that as everyone had got dressed up to the nines it would be nice for them to have a proper photo taken (without us in it). We sent them in the thank you cards - everyone was super chuffed.

At most of the weddings I've been to there have been some professional shots taken of the bridesmaids solo and with their partners - not a full photoshoot or anything. Not every wedding photo is of the bride and groom. So I think if she just wants a quick photo of her and her other half in their posh outfits, that's not a lot to ask at all. It takes two minutes.

If she's expecting to take your photographer off for a full photoshoot, though, that's obviously not OK.

I got my photographer to take pictures of all the BMs and their boyfriends/husbands.. I don’t really see an issue, everyone will know who the bride is m sure her dress won’t/can’t outshine yours..

I might be wrong, but if a discussion was needed about the subject, sounds like the sister wants a lot more than a quick photo or 2 with her partner! It's far from being unreasonable to warn and discuss the issue with the photographer in advance.

Why does she have to have photos done that day? She can get her own photographer a different day?

Why does she have to have photos done that day?

I am guessing because she is spending a fortune on clothes, hair and make up and her sister is the one paying for the photographer

It's up to you what your photographer does, their contract is with you. If it's anything like ours, they will ask you what key shots and groupings you want and when the key moments to photograph are taking place. One pic of your sister and her partner in all of that is not a great deal of drama or in any way unusual. That picture would then belong to you. If however, your sister wants her own photos then she would need to make an agreement with the photographer, separately, and outside of the time they are shooting you and your soon to be dh, and she would need to pay for it, and arrange for the pictures to go directly to her when they are ready. That would probably mean at the end of the event, which could be very late, depending on how many hours you're paying for.

Any photos taken during the time you are paying for are yours. So ultimately even if she did collar him and insist on photos, (which he should refuse under your instruction anyway) any photos he takes will belong to you. You're under no obligation to give those to her.

I'd meet with your photographer (we had a couple of meetings with ours anyway) and advise them on what you want them to do in this situation, if they are professionals, they will abide by your wishes, and not agree to any 'mini shoots' during the time they are contracted to you.

Thank you so much replies . I will have a good think about it and try to think kindly of it and not full of despair. It's just always the same in our house .🤔

A couple of pictures is fine, he will be taking pictures of your guests and wedding parties anyway.
For her to expect to go away with your photographer and do an actual minishoot is not ok it's your wedding and you will be needing your photographer to take pictures of your day.

I wouldn't worry about being outshone. No one will give a flying toss about what your sister is wearing when they are busy celebrating your marriage.

Tell her its no problem for the photographer to take pictures of her and her DH will she be paying her part of the fee by cash or bank transfer I bet she soon changes her mind.