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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like being described as a "female performer"

77 replies

Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 08:54

I have a hobby in a male dominated industry. I have been described as a "female performer" more than once whilst men are simply "performers" or "acts".

I'm frustrated by this because my being female has no effect on my performance.

What do you think? Would I be unreasonable to ask not to be "promoted" (I use that very loosely as I'm a beginner and amateur) as a female act when men arent described as "male acts"?

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 03/10/2019 08:57

I don't think it's a big issue myself

Geminijes · 03/10/2019 09:00

But you are female and a performer so therefore a female performer.

What difference does it make to you to be described that way?

thisnamechanger · 03/10/2019 09:01

I hear you OP. All the comics I work with reject "comedienne".

verticality · 03/10/2019 09:02

YANBU. Why not ask just to be referred to as a "performer"?

I'm really intrigued to know what your hobby is now!! Grin

ElizaPancakes · 03/10/2019 09:02

I don’t know.

If it’s a male dominated thing then surely being promoted as something outside of the norm is actually a draw?

Bloodycats · 03/10/2019 09:03

Yanbu. I’ve never heard a man being introduced as a male performer or male comedian.

Original poster
Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 09:08

But you are female and a performer so therefore a female performer.

And a man is a male and a performer so why isnt he a male performer?

OP posts:
Jupiters · 03/10/2019 09:09

YANBU.

Original poster
Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 09:09

If it’s a male dominated thing then surely being promoted as something outside of the norm is actually a draw?

I wouldn't say so, it should be about the quality of the act not their gender.

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 03/10/2019 09:11

I'd object too. If they see female comedian, some men assume all the jokes will be about vaginas and not about normal topics. Getting rid of the word female would help against some of those stereotypes.

ElizaPancakes · 03/10/2019 09:15

It should be definitely, I agree.

Depends what you do really. If you’re a comic then surely your name and possibly photo would give away your sex anyway! If you’re one of those Tibetan drummers then it’s a little more unusual!

Original poster
Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 09:17

I would think the female pronouns in my blurb give away my gender (and my massive tits in the photo!)

OP posts:
Kaddm · 03/10/2019 09:21

Perhaps the fact that it’s a male dominated industry gives you a unique selling point and increases the chances of people coming? So it’s stated explicitly on the marketing?

In any case it does seem like a really small thing to sweat and I don’t really understand why you are bothered.

Original poster
Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 09:25

No, that isnt the case at all Kaddm. My gender has literally no bearing on my ability to perform and will not attract people to the event.

I'm bothered because it's sexist and unnecessary.

OP posts:
CherryPlum · 03/10/2019 10:01

Football is the same - 'the womens world cup' versus 'the world cup'. My DD plays for a team, she picked up on this straight away. The men are the main ones, women are second.

Drabarni · 03/10/2019 10:03

I hope your not a comic, you sound a bundle of joy.
Maybe, they title you female as you come across as man hating?

Original poster
Funnyfemale · 03/10/2019 10:07

@drabarni Grin of course, that's it.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 03/10/2019 10:10

YANBU, OP.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 03/10/2019 10:12

YANBU oP.

Request to just be introduced as performer. Sex use irrelevant.

30to50FeralHogs · 03/10/2019 10:13

I would think the female pronouns in my blurb give away my gender (and my massive tits in the photo!) Grin

Have a look at the Facebook page of Man Who Has It All. It will tickle you I think!

To not like being described as a "female performer"
NearlyGranny · 03/10/2019 10:13

Wow, Drabarni, misogynist, much?!

OP it would be totally reasonable to ask organisers to drop the adjective as it 'others' you. Everybody should be adjectived or nobody, I reckon. Only fair.

Wish I was coming!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 03/10/2019 10:14

I'm astonished that so many of the replies to this are critical of you - of course it's annoying and not ok for them to describe you like that when it's of absolutely no relevance! I think you would be totally reasonable to ask - my one concern, though (and it's sad to have to say this) is that if you're just starting out I'd be careful not to annoy the wrong people over it. Obviously only you'll know if that could be the case.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 03/10/2019 10:14

Funnyfemale YADNBU.

I really believe there are people who hang around on MN waiting for someone to justly complain about a sexist injustice, just so they can come on and stamp on them.

Woman: know your place!

Maybe ask them to promote you as Female Woman Conedienne-ess? Just to really ram the point home?

30to50FeralHogs · 03/10/2019 10:14

Football is the same - 'the womens world cup' versus 'the world cup'. My DD plays for a team, she picked up on this straight away. The men are the main ones, women are second.

This is it exactly - men are the default, women are the oddity.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 03/10/2019 10:15

Describing the OP as a "female performer" when the men are just "performers" is very 19th century. OP is completely reasonable to have an issue with it. Or shall we just bring back the terms poetess and authoress while we're at it?