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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to postpone my hospital appointment

28 replies

LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:04

I’m due to go into hospital tomorrow for a one night stay. I’m just so upset and I simply can’t face it. My partner is ill at home and I just don’t feel like I want to leave him. He was meant to pick me up from the hospital as well and he’s not well enough to do it. I have nobody else to ask and it’s in a different city. The hospital won’t let me leave by myself because of the anaesthetic. I’m just so confused. I just want to postpone it. What do you think? I can safely postpone without damaging my health but am worried about wasting an NHS appointment.

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 02/10/2019 23:07

What’s wrong with your partner? Because I think if he’s not at deaths door you probably shouldn’t cancel.

It sounds like normal anxiety which you’re attaching to DP.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/10/2019 23:12

What's wrong with your partner, exactly? You really need to go and get this over with.

Original poster
LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:12

I’m not anxious about it. It’s a procedure I’ve had done loads of times before. I’m more worried about how I’m going to get home from a hospital in another city when I have nobody to pick me up and they won’t discharge me unless I do

OP posts:
CheekyMonkey76 · 02/10/2019 23:15

I'll ask again as you avoided the question. What is wrong with your partner?
If I had to go to hospital, unless he couldn't drive (broken leg) my DP would pick me up

fairybeagle · 02/10/2019 23:16

What @CheekyMonkey76 said

fairybeagle · 02/10/2019 23:17

Also it's hard to say without knowing what your procedure is. Will you have to go back on a long waiting list? Are you in pain?

73Sunglasslover · 02/10/2019 23:18

I had to get home from a procedure the other day and due to timings my OH couldn't pick me up. I got an Uber. Can you do that?

Original poster
LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:19

My partner has fractured a vertebrae in his back and can barely move let alone drive

OP posts:
juicyjuicymangoes · 02/10/2019 23:21

If there's no one to take you home you can stay overnight - you could ask the hospital tomorrow if that's possible? They might not have a bed available anyway in which case you'll have to postpone. Hope your partner is better soonThanks

timshelthechoice · 02/10/2019 23:22

Take a taxi or Uber.

Original poster
LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:28

I can’t take a taxi. It’s about 100 miles from home and the hospital are saying that due to the anaesthetic, I have to have someone pick me up and stay with me for at least 24 hrs. I could ask if they could discharge me a day later I suppose

OP posts:
MsJaneAusten · 02/10/2019 23:30

Can you phone, explain the situation and ask their advice? Possibly hospital transport? Or a train with taxis at both ends?

Original poster
LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:33

I think I’ll have to phone and ask their advice. They definitely won’t let me go on any form of public transport though.

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 02/10/2019 23:35

Guess you need to postpone then. Where are people getting these ideas about 'hospital transport', there's sometimes really limited forms of reimbursing some very indigent people or those with ill children, but in 2019 you're largely expected to make your own way there and back.

RainyG · 02/10/2019 23:41

You need to explain the situation to the hospital and let them advise. It can't be helped that your support is now out of action (although how long ago did it happen?).

The hospital might be fine to keep you in an extra day rather than cancel altogether, but only they can advise.

Whyhaveidonethis · 02/10/2019 23:43

I've been in this situation. I chose not to have any anesthetic, it was injections into my facet joints under xray in theatre conditions. Hurt a lot but it meant I could leave without anyone picking me up.

Another time a friend picked me up even though hadn't had sedation.

The last time I pretended my friend was waiting for me at the main doors and just fucked off.

Sunshine93 · 02/10/2019 23:44

Agree with others you need to ring the hospital and explain. They may have a solution and if not you can postpone.

Original poster
LucieFurr · 02/10/2019 23:55

It’s a general anaesthetic, not something I can choose to have done with no sedation. I’d love to pretend that someone was waiting for me and then just leave, but they make them come up to the ward. I’ll phone the hospital and take their advice

OP posts:
mumwon · 03/10/2019 00:14

could you stay in hotel nearby (or b&b Airbnb or similar) & get taxi there? as a matter of interest why is this being done 100 miles away? Are you in UK or elsewhere (like Australia USA etc)

Original poster
LucieFurr · 03/10/2019 07:59

Yes, in in the UK. It's a highly specialised procedure and not offered in the city where I live. I've phoned the hospital and they said they can keep me in for an extra night so problem solved. Wish me luck

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 03/10/2019 08:02

The hospital can’t stop you leaving or using public transport. I wouldn’t on the day of surgery, but I would if I’d had an overnight stay and it was the following day.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/10/2019 08:02

I've had this a few times (just had nobody to pick me up). Sometimes they've kept me in, sometimes we've made an arrangement where a taxi got me home (85 miles for me, but got me home!) and someone from the hospital called hourly; sometimes hospital transport took me home and settled me into bed with everything I might need around me.

Give them a call, there are solutions. I didn't have anyone to ask at all for a fair few years so I'd never have been able to have surgeries if they'd insisted.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/10/2019 08:03

Good luck, glad you were able to work out a plan.

BishopFrownofStThigh · 03/10/2019 08:03

Good luck

JoanieCash · 03/10/2019 12:21

Depends on the urgency of procedure. Is it a daycase and because you can’t be collected, you’ll stay overnight. Or is it a planned overnight stay already?

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