I hate my job and everything else at the moment

[Hennysmommy]

Ive had a really shitty time lately and this morning I woke up and realised how much I HATE my Job and some other things in my life. Its been on my mind all day.
I work in a school. A horrid place. A really really horrid place to be.

I was thinking of either Plan A leave and go back to uni to retrain and live on student loans (DH works full time 40+ hours so not sure I would get student finance). Plan B get a new job asap but I want something worth getting out of bed for. Plan C leave my job and claim Universal credit until I get something else sorted. We have a good lifestyle at the moment but still have credit cards, loans, mortgage, bills etc to pay so not sure it would cover our out goings and leave us with disposable income. But no job means I can focus on myself and my DS, it means more time with DS and DS not put in childcare and school from 7.00am until 6.00pm.

Anyone know what Universal Credit I could get? We havent ever had to claim benefits before so wouldnt know where to start. This would be a massive change in our circumstances but not a permanent thing.

I suffer with Anxiety and can feel this returning as a resut of everything that is happening. I have not had panic attacks or Anxiety for 12 months now so have done ok with it so far (Anxiety is always there but under control).

I have recently stopped taking IVF medication and when on the medication I feel happier as the hormones affect how I feel. Im struggling to come to terms with not having anymore treatment as cannot afford to continue, something that is hard to accept when its been part of my life for 8 years even though I seem to be on some sort of a mission to try and get the money for more treatment. Also only having one child when I desperately want DC2 is hurting.

Everything seems so overwhelming at the moment. I just want to escape somewhere and not return.
What do I do? I really could do with the advice.

I would not advise relying on universal credit. The system is designed to be as stressful as possible and you don't sound like you need anymore stress in your life.

There are calculators online to work out what you could get but I'd recommend coming up with a plan where you don't rely on it.

Could you take some time off with stress and try to plan when you are calmer?

I'd get (legitimately) signed off with stress for a few weeks to give yourself some breathing space.

Are the reasons you hate your job things that could be sorted out with supportive management, or are they insurmountable?

You have my sympathy... nothing worse than hating your job every day.

Its not something that can be sorted really. Its the whole culture of the work place that is so toxic.
Getting signed off sounds like a better plan until I can sort out my head. I hadnt thought of that. Getting a docs appointment will be a nightmare tho and they might not sign me off. Do I need to ask or will it be obvious to the doc that I need time off?

not sure you can do plan c if you quit your job

If you voluntarily give up your job I don't think you are able to claim benefits.
Getting a sick note from the GP, getting some counseling around your fertility issues and thinking carefully about what to do next might be a good way forward.

Regarding benefits, you'd be treated as a couple so your husband's income would be taken into account for universal credit. Use an online benefits calculator to see what you might be entitled to.

I think some time off to give you time to reflect and recoup would be a good idea.

@LakieLady ive just looked at the benefits caluclator. Shocking. Would get next to nothing. We couldnt survive on what it would pay out plus DH wages. Need to look for alternative job.
@pumkinspicetime completely agree about time off. Ive had counselling/therapy before it really helped so have to look at going back. Work made me go part time before because they refused to let me go to counselling inwas full time again when the sessions ended dont know if ths would be the same situation again.

Unless your DH has a very low income you won’t get UC. He will be expected to support you.

There are no independent unemployment benefits in the U.K. it’s all done by household not by person.

It’s sounds like you are traumatised by the ivf failure.

Ime GPs are quite lax about signing people off sick with stress.

@Verily1 didnt knownrhis until today thought it would be like wages i would get my own benefits. Ive worked for 14yrs so dont know the system.
IVF has been life for 8 years so yeah it feels like trauma plus the last failed cycle was devastating.

Feel i need a change in my life right now especially my job. I feel so sad.

What about your workplace is so toxic? We may be able to help to unpick it?

Are you primary or secondary? Is your line manager ok? Do you enjoy working with the students?

Taking time off with stress in a school isn't easy, the pressure to set cover, your colleagues will pick up your lesson potentially and it may cause issues when you come back. I personally would look at moving to another school if it's that bad. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest.

The bitching is terrible and going behind peoples back. You dont know who to trust to talk about problems because they befriend you and stab you in the back. If someone takes a dislike to you your fucked coz everyone will dislike you.

Its primary. It makes mensad how they speak about parents and there homes it actually makes me cringe and its made me cry a few times. Its so awful im a parent amd if I heard stuff that was said id never leave my house again.

Such a nasty place to be. Cover would be fine, they would get agency and they boast about how amazing agency would on my return.

Could you quit and do supply if its that bad?

@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep thanks thats something I hadnt thought of,

im so stressed and upset right now that I cant see past anything and certainly not thinking clearly enough to make decisions.
Im getting more and more anxious thinking about going to work tomorrow.