is it me?

[balletsupreme]

I have a relatively new DP. I'm head-over-heels with him, and he is the same about me. He is lovely and everything I never thought I would have! I have previously been in shitty, cheating and abusive relationships (I think this is key).

DP lives an hour's drive from me. Each weekend I'll either go to him. This may be for the day (so just for food/coffee or catch up) or I will stay the weekend where he lives. We take annual leave at the same time as well for long weekends etc.

Anyway, my best friend since childhood has been noticeably backing off me for reasons unknown since I met DP.

At first, it was out-and-out criticism of the situation, e.g. "it's weird you haven't had sex yet!" (after 6 weeks of dating). She then broke up with her boyfriend of 2 months when me and DP got together. When I told her she said "don't expect me to be happy for you, i'm not in the right frame of mind"

We used to text daily but she has stopped even replying to my messages. I have tried to offer her support but I haven't been able to visit her at the drop of a hat anymore. She also lives an hour away and wanted me to go down this last weekend, I had however already arranged to see DP. I asked her if she wanted me to come this week after work but she ignored me.

She NEVER saw me at weekends before - I've always traveled to her after work. She always spent that time with her flatmate who has since moved out.

There's a noticeable tension with me trying to keep talking and her sending one word replies/not responding to invites etc.

AIBU in the time I'm spending with DP?

She sounds very immature and I'd stop making so much effort if she's not responding in kind.

You're allowed to be happy and spend time with your new partner, friends should be happy for us, not critical.

Shes jealous because a) you have a happy relationship and she doesnt and b) youre not available to spend as much time with her anymore. YANBU, shes a child.

Have you been talking a lot about your new partner to her?

There’s nothing wrong with that at all by the way. It’s just I’ve been the one going through the break up and friend talking non stop about new boyfriend.

Just reminds you of how shit you’d own situation is.

Maybe just reassure her that you’re there for her when she needs you if the friendship is important to you.

Course not !!
Typical jealous friend , I had a friend once when I started seeing my now dh and if I wasn't seeing him one day and I'd say I'm seeing him on Thursday she'd say why like I should see him everyday . She would also request that I see her at short notice and when I'd say I'd made plans with dh she get really huffy . It made me question what was normal, and my relationship was normal of course , it's whatever your happy with .
My dh also had a friend who used to say you need to get yourself a girlfriend ( single for a while ) when he did ie me he wasn't happy .
Sounds like she's he's jealous if you and she's not happy .
Don't let her ruin things for you .

She's unhappy, and wants the ppl around her unhappy until she sorts out her mood. Ppl like that piss me off, if u r in a shit mood, dont try to make me feel the same. I think u should enjoy urself, focus on what brings joy to ur life, and if weekends r scheduled with ur DP, then guess what, thats his time. She can be available if she wants to see u at a time that works for both of u.

Of course i expect ppl who love me to be happy for me, not a true friend

@meshofflowers

No I haven't and she hasn't asked.

I get her situation and why not to mention it.

I think she is envious of you , she wants you all to herself.
You are in a new relationship and although I suspect you would never drop all your friends because of a new relationship it is certainly understandable that you would spend less time with them.

She may come round after a while but you should not be the one doing all the running .

Have you already posted about this? How you had not had sex with this man and she thought it was weird?