Not even sure how to explain this...

[NotSureHowIGotHere]

Have name changed for this because I’ve asked for relationship advice and don’t want this linked to that in case the people involved happen to see it.

I’ve got no idea how I’ve ended up in this situation.... I’ve had a bf for about 5 months, he broke up with me about a month ago completely out of the blue. I was really confused about it because we’d been talking about taking things to the next step and I thought we were getting more serious both liked each other etc.

So this is where it gets really weird. I had a friend who had set up a fake Facebook account and was talking to my bf on it to ‘try and catch him out’ catch him out with what I’m not sure, he’d never done anything to me or given me any reason to not trust him. I can only assume she was jealous of something? And was trying to find something she could tell me so I’d break up with him.

Anyway turns out he’s thought this was me talking to him with a fake account, hence the break up. I had no idea any of this was going on, friend never said anything to me, bf never said anything to me about it.

AIBU to feel one of them should have mentioned it to me at some point? We’re mid 20’s so I honestly have no idea how this has all happened or why, I feel so confused by it and can’t make sense of any of it?

Bf doesn’t want to talk to me about any of it because he still thinks it’s me I don’t really blame him for that because I didn’t do it, it was my friend just sounds like an excuse anyway doesn’t it? I don’t want to talk to my friend about it because I’m pissed off that she’s ruined that a relationship I had with someone I really liked.

I’m well aware of how odd this all sounds, how do I start making sense of it in my head? I feel stupid that someone I thought of as a friend has done this and upset at the end of my relationship.

How did you find out what she had done?

I think the only way to make sense of this is to accept that your 'friend' is absolutely batshit crazy. Seriously, block her on all social media and literally never speak to her again.

Does your friend have form for this kinda batshit behaviour? Was she jealous of your relationship? Tbh I can understand where ex is coming from- even if you could prove it was your friend you can't prove you didn't know about it or you weren't colluding to try and catch him. It all sounds very juvenile tbh. You can apologise to him and insist you knew nothing but I'd guess the relationship is now over. I'd be rethinking my friendship too after all of this

I would get your friend to contact your boyfriend and tell him it was her.

It's not the most batshit crazy thing I've ever heard of someone doing to be honest. Lots of people, early on in relationships, make fake accounts on dating sites to see if the person they are dating is still looking around because they don't want to waste time with someone who is actively looking and thinking they can do better.

If you had done it, it would make sense. It would make you a little weird as you had no doubts but hey ho. But your friend? So I take it he bit the hook then and now he's in a strop that he was found out? Or did he literally get a message, assume it was you and not engage with the fake account?

They both sound mad and I'd cut them both loose.

Her behaviour is inexplicable and if the relationship meant anything to him, he'd obviously talk to you about it before ending things.

If he's prepared to end what you had together on a hunch that you're cat fishing him without any discussion, then he can't have been that into you in the first place.

I don't think there is anything you can do to salvage the relationship with your ex, it is all just too crazy, I don't blame him for not wanting the drama. Your 'friend' isn't a friend at all and if I were you I would gradually lessen contact to zero, she is clearly quite odd and you don't want her to have some vendetta against you for immediately dropping her when she will frame what she did as trying to help.

Why wouldn't you wish to talk to your friend about it? I'd want to know why she's done this.

Was it really you? I'd have the same thought as your boyfriend, that either it was you or you put your friend up to it,

@Bluntness100 yes I don’t blame him for thinking that either because why would a friend do that? It absolutely wasn’t me but I’ve got no way to prove that. How can you prove you haven’t done something? I’ve got no messages I can show him because I didn’t sent any and didn’t know she had, she could send them but it’d be from the account he thought was me... so he’d still think it was me?

He’s upset because he thinks it was me, she’s already told him it was her but he still thinks it’s me so yes the relationship is definitely over because why would anyone want to be around that?

I’ve already blocked my friend, I’m feeling upset about it all because I’ve lost a friend and a bf over something I had no idea was happening.

@AMAM8916 they were talking but I have no idea what was said. Apparently they were still talking after we had broken up, not sure why she carried on or why he didn’t block the account, it’s all just been really odd.

Sounds to me like your 'friend' fancies you BF and was trying to initiate something under the guise of 'catching him out'.

Sorry OP, it's a shame about your relationship but you're better off without that kind of 'friendship'.

Bit of an update...

Friend has sent photos of messages to ex showing they have come from her account so I think he knows it’s not been me now. This has happened without me knowing they were still talking still so not sure of all the details.

Friend has messaged me to ‘explain’ but then got nasty turning it round on me when I said I wasn’t ready to forgive her so the friendship is over.

There’s no way I can rescue things with ex can I? I think he’s annoyed with me still because it seems all the drama has come from me - even though it hasn’t - so he probably won’t want to be involved with me again? It feels so unfair that I’ve lost both a boyfriend and a friend when I haven’t done anything wrong.