Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to move and attend church?

64 replies

UsernameABC · 02/10/2019 15:57

I live on the outskirts of the city. The two best primary schools (assuming that goes on ofsted outstanding rating? ) are a Catholic and Church of England school and they are in the centre of town. I live outside the catchment area of these two schools. All the rest of the schools in my city are rated good or need improvement by ofsted. I don't want to convert to Catholicism (was christened church of England but I'm an atheist), so that only leaves the Church of England school in my city thats an outstanding school. But I would have to move (which is expensive) and attend church which I don't want to do as I'm an atheist. Also 160 people applied for 30 places last year so the chances are slim even if we move and attend church right? AIBU to not want to move and attend church every Sunday? How important is an ofsted rated outstanding primary school? Does it make me a bad mother to just try for one of the good ofsted rated schools?

OP posts:
MagicMojito · 02/10/2019 16:04

Not at all. Ofsted is known to be shit.
My kids are in a "good" rated school. They love it, both girls are thriving, teachers are generally lovely and I have no complaints.
I'd go as for as to say you should ignore the ratings of the school completely and go to ask opinions of locals who attend the schools, do a few visits etc. Absolutely don't be moving for a school. I genuinely believe we should all just go to the closest school to us, makes the process much fairer and simpler :)

highheelsandbobblehats · 02/10/2019 16:08

Take Ofsted with a pinch of salt. There are 12 primary schools spread across my (not even that big) town. I viewed three when I was looking for DS1, based solely on how easy they were to get to with a just turned 4 year old and a 2 year old. The first one I viewed was our catchment. Rated Good by Ofsted. I fell in love. The school, the ethos, the staff, the vibe, everything. I walked out ready to sign him up.
But I knew I couldn't just look at one so I looked at the other two. The second one I viewed had an Outstanding rating and it was raved about locally. It was meh. It was 'nice'. It was very shiny. Too shiny. And the third school didn't feel right either (also a Good rating).

Go and see the school. Much of Ofsted is examining paperwork and the can lose that Outstanding status for one simple paperwork slip. One of my best friends is a childminder. The best one I have ever met, and I don't say that through bias. I have watched her first hand with her charges as we'd often be together when both of ours were young. She's amazing with them. She lost out on Outstanding because she didn't count the orange segments at snack time. She was deemed as 'needing to build on maths opportunities'. It was a joke. There's an outstanding childminder in our town that puts on an amazing show, has all her paperwork perfect, but everyday after school hangs around near the (quiet) road chatting to the other CMs whilst the children entertain themselves.

DS1 is in year 4 now. I love the school more than ever, and have DS2 in Y2 there now too.

Bringonspring · 02/10/2019 16:12

As a church goer it is incredibly frustrating when people do attend church just to get their child into school.

highheelsandbobblehats · 02/10/2019 16:13

Also, if you're an atheist, the last thing you want is to go to a church school. Your eyes will roll back in your head so often that they might as well move there. I was going to view one as it had an open day. When I went to the website, in huge letters it proclaimed the Bible verse of the term on the home page. That told me that it wasn't for us. The school we chose is a secular one.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/10/2019 16:16

How would you feel you move, go to church etc, get a place... And then the school gets downgraded?

Ofsted reports are an indication, but not everything. Look at results and progress scores, talk to friends etc, be realistic about your chances.

MsTSwift · 02/10/2019 16:16

Sometimes schools are marked down for daft reasons. My dc school lost marks because some gates weren’t high enough for some “safeguarding” nonsense. The gates had been that way for 20 years with no ill effects so didn’t lose sleep over it

chellochello · 02/10/2019 16:19

Not unreasonable to send them to a school rated 'good' at all

My DC's go to an 'Outstanding' rated school (also catholic) and it hasn't had an inspection for many years and in this time it has doubled the intake (2 classes per year group) and in this time has gone significantly downhill - no way would it no receive an outstanding rating now.

I wouldn't put to much trust in the offstead ratings - maybe see if you can find some parents who attend the 'Good' schoos and ask for their opinions on what the schools are actually like

Embracelife · 02/10/2019 16:21

Go visit the schools
Dont just go by ofsted
No one is making you do anything
They be improving and outstanding next year

Ciwirocks · 02/10/2019 16:21

Good ofsted is fine. My kids are in a requires improvement school, they are very happy and are doing very well. It was outstanding when we applied for dc 1’s place and then got inspected and downgraded. They have since changed a few things around and dc’s are thriving. I would still recommend it and the ofsted result didn’t change my feelings on the school at all.

Maryann1975 · 02/10/2019 16:24

Please don’t judge a school solely based on an ofsted report! Go and have a look round a few of the schools and see what you think. A good school is honestly, from the point of view of a child completely fine. Children don’t care about paperwork/forms/ticks in boxes which, despite what ofsted say, is what they are bothered about.
Also bear in mind that a school that is deemed to require improvement will more than likely be having huge injections of cash thrown at it and may well have had a change of senior leadership since it’s last inspection, so will probably not stay that way at it’s next inspection.

Maryann1975 · 02/10/2019 16:26

And please don’t go to a church school if you are not religious. You might take a place of a child who actually follows that religion which I think is hugely unfair. And if you are an atheists, do you really want your child coming home and telling you all about all the religious stuff they are learning about all the time. At normal state school, re is once a week. At church school I imagine, religion is taught far more often that that.

FriedasCarLoad · 02/10/2019 16:27

Firstly, Ofsted is fallible - don’t set too much store by the gradings. The comments in the full reports are far more helpful anyway.

Secondly, if you were going to go to church and be open about your atheism, good for you. But pretending to believe something you don’t isn’t a great example for your child.

I get the impression you’re a very motivated and involved parent. If that’s the case, your child will definitely be fine at the ‘good’ school!

TeenPlusTwenties · 02/10/2019 16:30

Absolutely nothing wrong with a 'good' school.

Just go and look at your local schools, list them in your real preferred order, include a school you should qualify for based on previous data even if you don't like it much.

Also nothing wrong with going to church to get a school place (provided you don't then complain when they teach the religion as fact). School admission is based on facts not what is in your heart. If they require you to attend weekly for a year you are just as entitled to a place as anyone else, whatever you believe.

Gatehouse77 · 02/10/2019 16:31

Our personal criteria when choosing schools was to get a general 'feel' for the place. The primary we chose had a headmaster with a very maverick attitude to government policy, saw education as a part not a whole, massively into outdoor education, leadership, etc. and created a community.

For us the compromise was
(1) being a church school - we're atheists and decided we could redress the balance at home with other views, beliefs, etc.
(2) it would mean driving 12 miles there and back daily.

These were compromises we could afford and were able to do.

I'd figure out what it is you want from a school and then which one comes closest. Ofsted cannot answer those gut feelings for a place.

Tavannach · 02/10/2019 16:32

Good or outstanding doesn't matter if you support your child's education and encourage them to enjoy learning.

Original poster
UsernameABC · 02/10/2019 16:55

Thanks for the replies. That's good to know. Mil keeps saying we need to get dc into that outstanding church of England school and that we should start attending church now. And if we don't we aren't good parents and don't care about our dc's future.

OP posts:
TeenPlusTwenties · 02/10/2019 17:02

What year will your DC start school? If 2020 you've probably left it too late anyway. Smile

Go and look at schools now (the open days will be happening pretty much NOW) even if a year or 2 early. You can set your mind at rest (or give yourselves time to find God!)

BeanBag7 · 02/10/2019 17:02

Nothing wrong with a "good" school.

PEkithelp · 02/10/2019 17:23

Honestly the ofsted ratings really don’t tell you what you might think they should. They won’t tell you how happy your child will be, they won’t tell you about staff turn over, they won’t tell you how kind the teachers are or whether they will laugh or shout, they don’t tell you how much they will listen to you as a parent or how polite/rude the headteacher is. All they tell you is how good a school is at playing the system. As a teacher, I actively chose a ‘good’ school rather than ‘outstanding’ as I know the shenanigans that goes on behind the scenes.

DonnaDarko · 02/10/2019 17:27

My friend, who is a teacher, says outstanding means nothing as its just a tickbox exercise.

Good indicates the kids get a more rounded experience.

I think you would be really unreasonable to move and attend church purely for a school place. Your MIL is being ridiculous.

If we were going to only look at outstanding schools, we wouldn't stand a chance of getting in one as there is literally 1 in our area. The majority of schools near us are Good and I'm happy with that.

Loopytiles · 02/10/2019 17:27

It’s not MIL’s business!

would you need to both move AND attend church? Have you checked the admissions criteria?

I would visit all the schools, look at results etc, and try to find out info. If I thought the CofE one seemed significantly better though I might well consider moving / rocking up to church (am an atheist).

Blastnamechangeagain · 02/10/2019 17:28

Ofstead actually means very little my children are at a good school that academically performs much better than any outstanding school in the county. My son has just left with top SATS in all areas. I didn’t lie about religion either to get in !
Stop stressing and actually go and see the schools!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 02/10/2019 17:29

I never pay any attention to Ofsted. As it happens my DS attends a "good" primary school and it's one of the best in the area in my opinion, I've never heard anyone say a bad word about it and DS is thriving.

I'm also atheist and there is no way I would attend church just to get my child into an "outstanding" school.

HappyDinosaur · 02/10/2019 17:34

Around here attending Church has absolutely no bearing on whether you will get into the local CofE school, is it different depending on where you are? Also, I agree with the others that a school is so much more than it's Ofsted report!

Welshwabbit · 02/10/2019 17:34

Agree with everyone else. Definitely visit the schools. We have a lot of "good" but no "outstanding" schools near us. I liked pretty much all the ones we visited, but had a gut feeling for the one we went for in the end, which happened to be the closest, and also happened to be a CofE school (my husband is a churchgoer, but it was under-subscribed anyway, so it didn't matter). Three years later, we are very happy with the school, and my youngest has just started in reception, with the same teacher my eldest had. It's a single form entry school with a real family feeling to it, and to be honest, the religious aspect is no more than I remember in my theoretically secular school in Wales in the 1980s.