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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be concerned?

13 replies

acrylicaddict · 02/10/2019 14:37

Bit of an odd one -

Was walking through the town I work in on my lunch break, and went for a stroll down a street I had not been down before. It had a few houses but lots of charity shops.

As I was walking, I heard a loud grunt and on the other side of the road on the pavement was a man who could have easily been over 90 years old, and he was wearing very little clothing. By this I mean literally socks, boxer shorts and a vest. I hadn't seen him as I walked past as he was stood behind a car but as I was concerned, I crossed the road and asked if he was okay. He didn't reply so I tried to ask if he needed help and where he lived. He was just looking at me blankly and didn't say anything again.

Then a girl who must have only been about 20 came running up the road in our direction, grabbed the man by his arm and tried to pull him down the road in the direction she just came from.

I asked her "is he okay?" and she literally shouted at me "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS", and forcefully pulled this poor old man down the road. There were no other witnesses I could speak to but I watched her pull him into a house and shove him through the front door - I didn't hear him speak this whole time but was clearly distressed.

I called DP as I was a bit shaken after being shouted at, and he said the bloke probably has dementia and had just left the house. While I agree this could be the case, I am concerned for his welfare due to how rough she was manhandling this man.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to someone? If so, who?

OP posts:
Paddy1234 · 02/10/2019 14:39

Absolutely
Please please do - it may just mean that the family get the extra care that they need and also the gentleman is protected from potential or actual abuse
❤️

Bluntness100 · 02/10/2019 14:40

I'd also assume dementia op. How roughly she handled him could be on relation to how panicked she felt about it.

Bluntness100 · 02/10/2019 14:42

it may just mean that the family get the extra care that they need and also the gentleman is protected from potential or actual abuse

Highly unlikely they will get extra support. If the girl was about twenty she was likely his grand daughter or great grand daughter and normally others would be the carers.

If you've ever dealt with someone with dementia it can be unbearably difficult and there is little support Available.

Original poster
acrylicaddict · 02/10/2019 14:43

Part of me thinks she could be family / a carer who has had a really hard morning with him already, like who knows what stress she could have been in already? Perhaps he is ill? I literally have no idea so half of me doesn't want to interfere and make their lives more difficult as I have only seen a tiny part of the whole picture,.......but she was so rough :( properly pulling, pushing and shoving him. It just sits very badly with me.....

OP posts:
Paddy1234 · 02/10/2019 14:43

I agree the gentleman has most possibly has dementia but if that happened in a care home setting the member of staff doing that would be suspended and sacked.
Everyone has a right to feel safe in whatever setting they live
❤️

Ponoka7 · 02/10/2019 14:46

Report it, there's been a few cases of old people being exploited and it's been people reporting it that's saved them.

Ponoka7 · 02/10/2019 14:49

She might be 'caring' for him, but she might be out of her depth and he has the right to adequate care.

There will be a welfare check and it might improve all of their lives.

Ponoka7 · 02/10/2019 14:52

"Highly unlikely they will get extra support. If the girl was about twenty she was likely his grand daughter or great grand daughter"

Everyone assumed tjat about a gang who've recently killed an older man with LDs. They kept him in a cupboard and barely fed him, while using his house and drawing his money.

A gang who was doing similar in my Sister's road set the house on fire to cover up his death from neglect.

I've known people to suffer because their families won't put them in residential care, so they have a bigger inheritance.

Original poster
acrylicaddict · 02/10/2019 14:57

Should I report it to the police then? Or is there someone else I should report it to? Sorry - I'm not that familiar with things like this and want to make sure it's dealt with appropriately if necessary.

OP posts:
Paddy1234 · 02/10/2019 14:59

I don't think you should report it to the police but certainly to Social Services - you may find he is on there radar in the first instance.

Paddy1234 · 02/10/2019 15:00

They will have a duty to follow it up through the safeguarding of vulnerable adults

WhatTiggersDoBest · 02/10/2019 15:11

I'd ring social services (adult social services) and let them know the address and what you saw. Then the ball's in their court, they might well already know the family.

Original poster
acrylicaddict · 02/10/2019 15:24

I will call them in a minute. Thank you for all the advice Flowers I have shown DP the thread and he is now in agreement too.

OP posts:
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