I think I’m having a midlife crisis- AIBU

[Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow]

I recently had a milestone birthday and in last few months I feel like I don’t recognise myself anymore.
I hate my job I’ve loved since uni, I suddenly can’t stand my friends of twenty years, I barely tolerate my husband who I’ve been happily married to for many years,
The only constant is my kids.
AIBU to think I’m having a midlife crisis and I’ll feel more like me again soon, or have I just turned into (more of a) grumpy cow as I get older and that’s just me now.

That's a more positive outlook. I feel I can't trust my feelings if they are down to hormones but let's imagine they aren't. Maybe taking less crap from people is a good thing.

Afistfulofdolores that phrase summed it up exactly- ‘the scales fall from your eyes and you can no longer un-see what you see or I feel what you feel’.

Thank you for the advice I will definitely search those books out too.

Oh! @Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow - I totally forgot, and it's a far, far more accessible book by a brilliant analyst and writer, James Hollis:

Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

Synopsis here:

"What does it really mean to be a grown up in today's world? We assume that once we "get it together" with the right job, marry the right person, have children, and buy a home, all is settled and well. But adulthood presents varying levels of growth, and is rarely the respite of stability we expected. Turbulent emotional shifts can take place anywhere between the age of thirty-five and seventy when we question the choices we've made, realize our limitations, and feel stuck-- commonly known as the "midlife crisis." Jungian psycho-analyst James Hollis believes it is only in the second half of life that we can truly come to know who we are and thus create a life that has meaning. In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, Hollis explores the ways we can grow and evolve to fully become ourselves when the traditional roles of adulthood aren't quite working for us, revealing a new way of uncovering and embracing our authentic selves. Offering wisdom to anyone facing a career that no longer seems fulfilling, a long-term relationship that has shifted, or family transitions that raise issues of aging and mortality, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life provides a reassuring message and a crucial bridge across this critical passage of adult development."