to want to lose weight before getting pregnant?

[chinupchickeny]

I have NC for this as don't want to get recognised IRL. I am currently about a stone overweight. When pregnant with my son nearly four years ago I put on 3.5 stone as I felt so sick and the only thing that stopped it was constant eating - I went off absolutely all fruit and veg (unusual for me as I usually love it) and the only things I wanted to eat were bread, cheese and potatoes. I have worked really hard to lose the weight steadily and have yo-yo'd back and forth several times but am now losing slowly and steadily just by regular exercise, portion control and no snacking.

I'd like a second baby but I want to be back down to a healthy BMI before I get pregnant. In conversations with friends about this they've all said that is unwise as what if I can't get pregnant - I shouldn't delay it - the age gap will be too big etc etc.

I'm only 30 so hopefully not pushing the boundaries in terms of age here. I desperately don't want to put on loads of weight again and feel that if I'm at a healthy BMI that at least puts me at a good starting point. I will also need an elective c section this time due to complications during my first pregnancy and am already terrified of that - surely being at a healthy weight will mean it's safer?

AIBU?

Bump

No YANBU. It's a perfectly sensible idea and I'm doing the same. Good for you👍

YANBU! Complications to mother and baby increase in overweight women. If you're closer to your ideal body weight you're more likely to conceive and to have a healthier pregnancy.

I'm just so terrified of the elective section as it is, I had an emergency section last time and recovery was fine but I'm so scared of something going wrong.

YANBU. I had a baby 7 months ago, I put on 3 stone and have only lost 1.5 stone. We want another one quite soon but I’m scared I’m fair too big as I’ll probably put another 3 stone on.

Your friends sound like idiots! It's a very good idea, you are doing what's best for yourself and future baby. Don't worry about anyone else's opinion

YANBU very sensible to get bmi to normal. Lots of info of the benefit of preparing for pregnancy on the Tommy’s website.
Good for you!

yanbu.

obesity increases all kinds of risks in a pregnancy. Ignore your 'friends'.

I completely agree with you! I’m very overweight not just a stone, and have decided to get to a healthy weight before trying for another. And I AM pushing the boundaries in terms of age. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen; I can honestly say I’d rather not have another than have one at the weight I am now, I think it would be incredibly unwise for me to.

Gosh no! It's a really sensible thing to do. Maybe you can also find something you love to train in - gym, swimming, running...It's not wise to start a new exercise routine but you can generally continue one. And it's possible you won't get the sickness again.

I wouldn't bother. IME overweight people tend to eat more when pregnant and then more afterwards too, so I think it would be a waste of time.

Just try to curb your eating to within sensible levels when you're pregnant.

Re-read post. I didn't mean to imply exercise might ward of sickness. Just that some people get it with one and not another. Or at least not as bad.

YANBU - you are being very sensible. At 30 you have plenty of time and weight loss means a safer and hopefully more enjoyable pregnancy. Good luck.

I'm doing well with the exercise, running 3 times a week and cross training on two. I eat very sensibly now. I am just worried I will feel like I did the first time.

YANBU I did exactly this as I'd struggled for a year to get pregnant second time round, and then miscarried and I figured the best thing I could do for my fertility was lose the extra couple of stone I was carrying. I conceived the same cycle that I hit my goal weight and a healthy BMI, which is a good job as I'm now 39 weeks and I've put on 3.5 stone again (exactly the same as I did in my first pregnancy). Looking forward to losing it all again now after giving birth!

I was exactly like you in my first pregnancy, ate loads of bread and dairy because I felt sick, gained loads of weight, I managed to lose it all (helped that I caught every sick bug going when we started nursery 🙄) but then was scared to conceive again in case I did the same. I'm in my first trimester now and because I'm aware of what I did last time, I'm being pretty good at restraining myself. Also I have a little one who needs lots of veggies etc so it's easier to make healthier choices. I wouldn't wait, the age gap for me would be more important.

Well a stone overweight isn't that much.... I actually joined WW for the same reason, was a stone more than I was comfortable with, and lost that stone in 8 weeks... so it's really not delaying things very long if you do that.

Weight comes off quite slowly the way I do it, about 2-3 lbs a month, but I prefer it that way as it doesn't yoyo and I know it is something sustainable long term.

There is no such thing as a too big age gap. Large age gaps are weird to some outsiders but not to the children involved as that's their norm.

I think this is exceptionally sensible! I gained 3-4 stone in pregnancy and I have lost it, and now want to try for another, but as a PP said I will be very conscious of not repeating the same mistake. And DS and I eat together so much healthier and no chance to stuff my face all day either as he would want what I’m having!

I never understand people who say no point losing until after they’ve had another! Then it’s just more weight and harder, and as you say less healthy for the foetus.