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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to do this with gifts that family and friends have bought DS?

24 replies

Acidrain · 01/10/2019 22:01

My DS turns 2 in November and he has so many toys it's unmanageable, think 3+ ride on cars, plastic musical toys etc.
Every room has so many toys in!! (Wish I had space for a playroom)
I'm thinking of having a huge clear out and keeping around 25% of his toys (not including books, arts and crafts, toy kitchen.)
I was thinking of keeping his figures, pirate ship, toy farm, wooden railway, jigsaws, blocks, cars and a few other bits and pieces he plays with regularly.
I feel bad donating/selling/throwing away a lot of his toys that have been bought as gifts or given to us free from family and friends.
My house cannot contain the excess much longer! The toybox is full, the second toy box in the dining room is overflowing, the amount of soft toys in his room is ridiculous!!

Aibu to do this with gifts that family and friends have bought DS?
The stuff we've bought we have no problem with selling/donating/throwing away.

OP posts:

june2007 · 01/10/2019 22:03

Have a sort out, if things are too old for him, put away for another day, too young then sell, rubbish chuck. Ofcourse your being ok.

Ponoka7 · 01/10/2019 22:08

As long as you are only throwing out the broken toys, then yes, you can do what you like with the surplus.

My DD does toy rotation, fortnightly so they only have so much out in one go.

Are you going to ask people to cut down on what they buy?

hungrywalrus · 01/10/2019 22:12

We kept some of the stuff away from him and used it as birthday presents for other kids. He enjoyed opening th gifts and then obviously forgot. Maybe that’s mean but no kid that age needs that much stuff and we kept the good stuff. Other presents were handed out during the year as bribes/rewards for potty training.

Spinderellacutituponetime · 01/10/2019 22:13

Hide some (loft?) and rotate them, works really well. We did this every couple of months or so...

Original poster

Acidrain · 01/10/2019 22:14

Yeah everything in reusable condition will get charity shopped.
Yes we've asked going forward that for birthdays and Christmas if they want to buy him something to get either books, extras for his train sets or toy farm, days out together etc, although did feel cheeky and ungrateful telling my Mum and MIL to stop getting him stuff every week as he didn't need it or to keep it at theirs for when we visit.
I just feel ungrateful but we have so many toys and not a huge home!
Just feel bad

OP posts:

Original poster

Acidrain · 01/10/2019 22:16

Just feel bad on them as well as my DS but I'm 99% sure he wouldn't miss half of it!

OP posts:

Starlight456 · 01/10/2019 22:20

Honestly it is very normal to have a huge clear out especially before Christmas.

Userzzzzz · 01/10/2019 22:41

Do it now before he develops the memory of an elephant and the vocab to express how the thing you want to get rid of is his absolute favourite. I’ve tried to do a charity shop run for my 3 year olds stuff and she notices immediately if anything (even the crap she doesn’t touch) has been moved.

Sunnysidegold · 02/10/2019 06:45

Do it now before he gets Christmas presents! My folks liked it when ds got into sets of things - it made it easier to buy present s. Would anyone give an experience at Christmas? Something tiny to open on Christmas day but with a promise to take them out to a farm / soft play / children's museum later in the year?

EssentialHummus · 02/10/2019 06:51

Do it - if charity shops won’t have it sell on a local FB group for a low amount per item. And ask family for farm/soft play/whatever local attraction subscriptions for xmas.

Fundays12 · 02/10/2019 06:56

I would clear it out and sell as much as you can in Facebook. It’s not cheeky to not want your home I’ve run with toys that are never played with. I always put money I get from selling the kids toys in there piggy banks for holidays etc.

AlwaysCheddar · 02/10/2019 06:57

Ask for extras for the wooden railway. Get trains, bridges and those extra 2-way pieces that you Always seem to run out of when you’ve designed an amazingly complicated track You can’t complete it because of that one missing piece!

AlwaysCheddar · 02/10/2019 06:57

Tell them you’re starting a university fund

Sceptre86 · 02/10/2019 07:24

I second doing it before xmas. I rotate the toys so my kids have a fre from their birthdays to play with straight away and when the novelty wears off they get packed away and a 'new' one comes out. Then I will decide what to keep or give to charity. My dd had 25 soft toys at raw last count. I have given all but 3 away, we just don't have the room and they don't serve a purpose. I have asked my parents to limit themselves to one gift each or clothing such as pjs which they need all year round. My in laws have decided to just get one gift and give money which goes straight in the kids banks. Yanbu, where are you meant to store it all?

Beautiful3 · 02/10/2019 07:35

Dont feel bad, its normal to have a good clear out before birthdays and christmas.

user1477391263 · 02/10/2019 07:37

I think it's partly a sign of the times. Over the last generation or so, the price of "stuff" (toys, electronics) has continued to fall, while the prices of housing, education and healthcare have gone up and up.

So you have a situation where the older generation (which grew up with few toys, as not many could be afforded) keep buying toys for grandchildren and thinking that they are giving the parents and child a "treat". Meanwhile, so many young families live in cramped housing because so many people are stuck renting or living in a tiny new-build, meaning they have nowhere to put this stuff, and are quietly thinking "Wouldn't it be better to put the money towards university instead? That's what we are going to wind up spending a small fortune on".....

IAmAspie · 02/10/2019 07:39

But you would get rid of them at some point anyway? No one keeps every thing, ever, they have been given. Personally I'd sell it on and bank it. Or look at what comes into the house, if it is unlikely to be played with, see if it can be regifted or put straight into the foodbank/charity at the supermarket.

BikeRunSki · 02/10/2019 07:39

I used to have a clearout and sell at NCT sales twice a year. I put the money towards swimming lessons. Bikes, we’ve just bought and sold as needed.

BeanBag7 · 02/10/2019 07:51

YANBU - friends and family probably won't even know, unless they come round your house regularly and look through the toy cupboard. This seems to be a very common issue where there are so many toys available and people feel they need to buy all of them!

Incidentally I think you need to stop this at the source as well. Otherwise you will have the same problem in 3 months after they get stacks of Christmas presents.

We have a large family so have always asked each member/couple to only buy one present for DD (because we have a small house) or to contribute money towards something else like an annual pass. DD has enough toys but not so many that they don't fit in the house!

stucknoue · 02/10/2019 08:12

Ask for money for a savings account instead of lots of presents. Really handy for university in 16 years time

WorldEndingFire · 02/10/2019 10:15

YANBU - might be worth asking the foodbank if they would like the best condition condition items as part of a Christmas donation?

incognito76 · 02/10/2019 13:25

YANBU at all. You couldn’t keep them forever even he was playing with him; he’ll soon outgrow them anyway. Charity shop would be a good idea, or you could look for a local charity for kids who don’t have much. And if grandparents insist on buying too much stuff, insist that they keep it to be played with at their house. My mum buys bits and pieces for my youngest niece, but they are mostly things that stay at her house and my niece knows they are her things she plays with at Nanny and Grandad’s house.

SherlocksDeerstalker · 02/10/2019 13:34

This was my nightmare. Seriously just bag and donate as much as you can/want to. Think how happy someone else’s child will be to get some of those toys from the charity shop / food bank / toy library who potentially has far less than your family. Think of it as spreading the love! Incidentally I do the same as a PP - gifts get opened ok birthday / Christmas and then 75% go in w cupboard to be brought out in dribs and drabs throughout the year. Anything that’s a repeat/not appropriate/too many of already gets regifted, or charity shopped. Mine are 9 and 6 and are happy with this approach.

FantasticPhyllis · 02/10/2019 13:42

Re Facebook you need to make sure that you don't tick the box so that it is shared on your time line otherwise the person who gave it to you may see you are selling. Likewise, if you're selling in a group (I. E. 'Durham baby stuff for sale') that they aren't a member. I receive notifications if any friends/family in the same groups list things for sale.

(I have just sold a load of toys at a nearly new sale and will be doing another one before Xmas and the next deluge of toys arrive)

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