New student at dds college is showing obsessive behaviour and wonder if you would step in at any point despite their age?

[AdogcalledBob]

Dd has started year 12 at college recently.

Initially for the first week or two she was friendly with a girl she did not previously know but there have been some issues with this girl.
There have been incidents of name calling, taking dds things for 'a laugh' and being quite frankly a bit mean. She has been horrible to the other students too, mocked anothers work and writing and dd says she hears a lot of people talking about her in a not very kind way as she has been unkind to them. She has also called dd a bitch behind her back.

Dd found the transition to college rather difficult as it was after rather heavy senco support previously and was coming home quite stressed about this student. Dd is not very socially confident, hates confrontation and doesn't really know how to deal with it.

I tried to give dd strategies to try and help and she stopped hanging around with her.
I informed dd to just try and stay out of her way and try and talk to other students but this student will go where ever dd goes and bothers her. It reached a point dd was actually leaving campus even though Dd gets free college meals so has to eat there just to try and get away from her.

The student has now taken to sitting on the table next to dds at lunch and just staring at her but saying nothing. Dd is eating her food as quickly as possible and then leaving to go somewhere but this student goes wherever she does.

Today dd felt uncomfortable so left the room with another girl she had got talking to. The other student walked up to dd and shouted that she knew she would leave the room and screamed at a girl dd was talking to that she was stealing her friend.

Dd will not stick up for herself and hates confrontation but is getting very stressed about this at home.

Instead of mixing with other students and trying to make friendships with people she is literally running around the campus trying to get away from this student meaning she just is not interacting with anyone else.

Aibu to think this is rather obsessive behaviour and if your dd couldn't handle it would you discuss with college or will it make dd look ridiculous?
I am really quite concerned this is going to grow into bullying and we have had enough issues of that in the past.

It does sound unusual.

When you say college do you mean a smaller 6th form attached to a school or proper stand alone college? Generally i find that the pastoral support at the start of the year 12 is a bit more like y11+1 in attached 6th forms and would probably affect how I'd move forward.

It is a 16 to adult college up to degree level but I believe the campus that dd is on is a 16 to 18 year olds campus so like a 6th form but not at her school (she did not get in)

My college had counsellors despite my being a mature student, perhaps DD could talk to them? She shouldn’t be harassed on campus, whatever this girl’s problem is

This needs sorting out for you DD's sake (obviously your concern) and for the sake of the other girl - who is most definitely not your concern!
This sort of behaviour does not emerge fully formed from nowhere, and I'd guess that the college will have knowledge of a "back story" which they will keep confidential. From the sound of it, she is making considerable waves with other students, so they may be "on her case" behind the scenes.
In the same way, they will know that your daughter previously had SENCO support, which is also information they hold in confidence.
I'd suggest that you contact the college, emphasising that you don't want your daughter to be made to look ridiculous. If they intervene, it could because any one of a number of students who have taken exception to her obnoxious behaviour.
She sounds very troubled, but that is absolutely no reason for your daughter to suffer!

You need to encourage your DD to speak to a member of staff in the first instance, maybe ask DD to write it down and hand it over if she feels that’s easier.

Whilst I wouldn’t step back entirely it would be beneficial to your DD to try and sort this first

I would speak to the tutor. Ask them to keep it discreet to avoid embarrassment for DD but to get them aware and so they can help.

I do actually know a dog called Bob. He's very popular with the other dogs in the park.

Encourage your daughter to speak to her personal tutor, but if she's not confident in doing that, then it's fine for you to (just let your daughter know). I used to be a tutor in a college, and it was normal for parents to contact us about a range of issues, in fact, we wished they did more!

Thank you. I have been very much trying to give dd the skills and strategies to deal with it herself as she is going to have to deal with problem people at times in her life where I will not be there.

I have mentioned she talks to the tutor or learning support (we are a month in and she has not even got her learning plan yet frustratingly)
We have been told there are counsellors.

Thank you Tralala33 , it is useful to hear from a tutor.

Wonders if I know ThePallidBustOfPallas

Suggested sorry not mentioned.

Tutors at my college would definitely help with things like that, it’s what they’re there for!

In a bigger college then have a chat with their tutor.

I only asked because in a smaller 6th form attached to a school would probably have a sixth form leadership team who know every student and much of their backgrounds so they may be more immediately useful than the tutor.

Sorry that sounds so difficult for you dd. If you look on the college website there should be information about student support.