I’m losing my shit!

[Gonein33seconds]

My kids are awful. I can’t cope anymore. Their attitude towards me is sending me over the edge.
Youngest is almost 5. I suggested he wash his hands when he got home from school(something we do every day) well he kicked off royally! I ended up doing it for him, whilst he fought me. I said no tv as he was being so naughty. He kept on and on and on. Still screaming now.
Everything I say they argue with. Other one is 7. He’s not quite as bad but still a total nightmare at times. They fight from the moment they wake up to the second they go to sleep. I’m not enjoying them. I hate having them with me. I’ve just phoned their dad and said to come and get them as I’m literally about to lose my shit. I’ve licked myself in the bathroom.
How do I get through this?! I’m done. I feel like disappearing

ARgh, I've always knew, kids are just not for me
Are there parenting classes you can attend that can help you with this?

I used to watch supernany long time ago on TV, not sure how much of it would help you, but at least it'll make you feel "not alone" if anything

He's only five and just in from school so probably tired and hungry. Give him a cuddle and let him watch some telly while he winds down. You can't run away from your children.

Op breathe! I think you sound really knackered,Are you parenting them on your own most of the time? You know what I would do and yeah I know its pissing it down outside ..stick em in their coats and take them to the park to burn off their energy.They sound like two lively little ones who are full of mischief! I have one aged 7 so I know.She can be a swine.Arguing ,tantrumming you name it she does it.Thinking about your post though ...you got into a fight cos he wouldnt wash his hands..err ok I get you but its hardly a deal breaker really is it?If you had shrugged and said ok fair enough dont bother would you have had all this agro? Just thinking its easier to pick your battles with young kids who are excited at finishing school etc.In our house and I am sorry if I am preaching its not my intention I have had to set up a wall chart witth a routine on it for the madam who lives here! So we get in from school and have a snack,,then she can play for a bit whilst I do dinner or she can help,,she likes to help so she sets the table..makes a right balls up of it but does it..it keeps her busy and focused so she has no time to carry on!! then dinner then bath then bed,,TV in bed for 30 mins at 7pm then lights out whether she likes it or not! Someone suggested this to me and 3 weeks in its working.Might be worth a try....The only way to keep sane is distraction..so when you see them building up to showing off and fighting make them busy..promise you it works...I know when shes gonna start and if i miss it and it escalated I go in the kitchen make a coffee and sit 10 mins with the door closed ..she soon comes round! Hope it gets better for you soon,,don;t give up they need you,

I’ve a DS the same age who can easily lose it after school. I’ve found that giving him a good hour of chilled time after school with no demands or expectations sort of decompresses him. Conforming and paying attention at school all day can wear them really thin.
I agree with sallycinnamon that you need to pick your battles.

He told me a kid threw up everywhere at school, so I thought it was quite important to wash his hands on this occasion. They literally argue with me on EVERYTHING. I seem to get everything wrong too. I make them juice, they didn’t want that juice. The toothbrush is the wrong colour. Don’t even get me started on mealtimes! One day they like chips, the next they don’t. I can’t keep up!
It’s a constant daily battle with them. They’re fucking angels in school though!!

I don’t have any advice but you have my sympathy. I couldn’t be a parent (even to wonderfully well behaved children). It just seems so bloody hard when life is hard enough at times!

Refuse to battle with them, don't engage. Tell them how it is and the consequences will follow. Sounds to me like you may have pandered to them and they know they can get away with murder.

Give them juice ..they dont want it take it away..no choices juice or nothing...chips and fishfingers for tea boys ..dont want it ..oh sorry its all I have If you dont want it then thats ok but you will be hungry.Lets go shopping for toothbrushes you can pick what ever colour you like boys cos I am so proud of you cleaning your teeth you can choose! See you are taking back control and not being run ragged by the kids! They have nothing to argue with you about cos they dont have a choice, Juice or nothing,,chips or nothing,,,you will win OP you will everytime if you keep going!

My youngest dd is similar with mealtimes etc.. is it possible to Let the children decide what to have for dinner? Meal plan together, I found once they had an input things improved drastically, same for clothes, I let her choose what she wears (even if it looks awful) no more battles. I have to double check drinks as she would always want the opposite of what given. Giving them more freedom to make their own decisions made the world of difference to mine.
Re the washing hands, I would imagine the school would already make sure they had but could you have an antibacterial gel at home so there is a choice?