For leaving

[Sweetpeach3]

Please don't judge me as I know a lot will

DH and I havnt had a great relationship, not all plain sailing and flowers.... we had 2 children and was okay but then we broke down completely. I moved an got my own house etc. He's a lazy controlling arsehol. He has a lot of money- me not so much I get just over 1000 a month an he gets around 4 thousand
Out of this I'm expected to give half to everything- at his house that I didn't agree with?? An pay my own rent an bills so I'm left with jackshit But anyway iv really had fucking enough
I'm pregnant with baby number 3.... at Christmas I moved back to his house and we was amazing for the first time in ages and baby came along. He said he wanted the baby but now all's I get is
"Your a fat slag" " you've trapped me with that baby" "I told you get rid. I didn't even want it " blah blah bla he hasn't got a single thing for the new baby or helped iv done it all on my own an it's staying that way. Don't want the new baby. You won't have anything to do with it! He offered buy me a cot an I said no. He got posed of the fact I don't need him
He thinks my house rent is up this month so I won't have anywhere to go... last night he told me he wants me gone an doesn't care we're. Iv kept my house as I KNEW this is what he wanted an to put me in a position where I have fuck all and I'm homeless with 2 kids and pregnant ...

Thing is he was happy at first an he wanted the baby but saying these things has pushed me over the edge. He's now saying he didn't want our DD either because I'm "crazy" haha ok what hormonal woman doesn't get crazy when she can't get an hours sleep at night without been woke up with cramp or a child climbing into bed then up at 5 am to get the day sorted an not sitting down until 10pm why your sat in bed on a game or your phone !! So yes iv lost my shit but other then that how am I crazy? I do everything for my baby's. His kids and him!

Main thing is I'm calling it a day now I'm completely fed up an sick of how he is an it's never going to get better I need to realise that an get on with my life. I'm 23 an yes I have 3 kids but that doesn't make me a slag surely ? He's 37 with 7 kids with 5 mums. He isn't a good role model is he! I've contacted my domestic abuse councillor to get me into a support group at home to stay away from him etc. I'm determined this time ! I'm just so bloody scared of been on my own with 3 young children and 1 is ill? Am I going to be okay on my own?
Has anyone been in a situation like this or been on their own with 3 young kids ? I feel so shit right now

You will be fine on your own. Beinf as far away from this man is the best thing yii can do.

Yanbu. Get out as fast as you can. And take all your children with you. He'll have to give you maintenance.

It sounds like you are on your own anyway so yes, you could cope on your own.
So he has another 4 kids with 4 different mums?

@arethereanyleftatall don't want his maintenance tbh because ino he's guna be a pain in the arse over what days he wants the kids like last time. It's his terms or non at all or he comes round kicking off. He can keep his money we're fine without him just want him be civil

@HairdressertoBoris yea. I brought one up he moved in with me when I first met his dad at 17 an he was 12 I think But always done my best by the others aswel an I just get told I'm a shit mum an drop dead.... I don't deserve it I know I don't

You deserve better than this piece of shit. You'll be well rid

You need to apply for child maintenance and he can apply for an access arrangement. Then he needs to stick to it. At least then you know where you stand and he can't dictate it to you once it's been agreed.

@Sweetpeach3
I was in a DV shelter 3 years ago September just fine was in there until end of January and got help with getting accomadation and support. I've now been rasing my DS practically on my own (dad has him every other weekend and share holidays between us). Go get access arrangement, get on child maintainace and speak to the great people who run the shelter and they will go through all the forms with you. Big hugs

Out of this I'm expected to give half to everything- at his house that I didn't agree with??

What?
Who is 'expecting' this payment?
If it is only DH, he can do one.
It will be the oher way round - he will have to pay you maintenance when you leave.
Get out asap, to your own house & well done for keeing it on.
Stay in touch with the support group & hold on to how much better you will feel when you are self-reliant & free of Mr Wonderful ...

No judgement here. You have a lot to contend with. Take all the support and advice on offer. You owe it to yourself and your 3 children to get as far away (emotionally) from this man as possible.

don't want his maintenance tbh because ino he's guna be a pain in the arse over what days he wants the kids like last time.

@Sweetpeach3, he can't inflict a pain in the arse about contact if you ensure an agreement is set in stone through legal channels. Get started on that now - talk to the support group, someone there will know a reliable solicitor.

Please do not walk away from his maintenance payments. I understand your pride, & wanting to feel shot of his control - but that money is for your kids, & he needs to pay it. Don't let your feelings about it get in the way of common sense, & don't let the bastard get away scot free like this!

You are probably not going to be able to stop him seeing his children so get it all arranged legally.

Go through CMS for maintenance. It doesn't matter whether you want it. You can't afford not to accept it and, besides, it's not for you, it's for your children.

You have lots of very good reasons to leave.
But you don't need one.
You can leave for any reason, or no reason at all.
I don't wanna is reason enough.
You are not under any obligation to justify your decision to him or anyone else
Leave him. He's horrible.
You deserve better and so do your children

@messolini9 I know I suppose I should just take it. He wants it to be Friday then Saturday alternating on weekends so he can go out haha but I have ocd an he knows I like a set routine an have everything done at a set time and day so he's just playing another game doing that. I said he can have them any day just same day each week or is that unfair ? He has them one night a week from school for tea then one night on a weekend. It's more then he does now anyway plus new baby will be breast fed so that won't be happening for a while

Yes, you take it @Sweetpeach3, & get it all buttoned up legally.

As to contact - it's better for the children to have regular set days, & you can get this set in stone legally as well.

You can do this my dear. Life will just get better & better without Mateyboy in it.

Well says it all. He's been out all day an had lunch etc iv been at his caravan with the kids in the middle of no were (why house is having work done). He's come back. Played on his game an just came in the living room. Asked my opinion on something an didn't get what I ment so startedscreamin am told me sleep in the couch. It's only a caravan so isn't great an wont give me a cover. Wanker !!!!!!! I can't wait till the end of the month when I get paid an can go back to my house ! I'd go tomorrow if I didn't give him 500 to bills at his house because now iv nothing at mine like gas and electric this month and no money for food - he will give me the amount I need for my list I write out LOL