To think that endless self- improvement is a bad thing?

[tumbleisatwat]

It's constant these days. We're all expected to be trying to be healthy, eat a better diet, pursue mindfulness, dress better, look better, go plastic free, drink enough water, have a hobby, a fulfilling career (as evidenced by my place being obsessed with if people are enjoying it) go vegan, cut out caffeine, be woke...

It's bloody relentless. Particularly some of the stuff around mental health and depression - sometimes the reason you're miserable is because your life is shit, not because you need to eat more kale and meditate.

I've hospitalised with depression and self harm, btw.

I do think that the whole cult and associated industry is a new religion- an opiate of the masses so to speak.

Anybody else?

Dont each too much shit. Walk somewhere. Do something that makes you smile. Get more sleep.

End of.

I agree. I'm miserable as fuck at the moment and I feel it's all down to self expectation

You're right, of course.

Dw and I were talking yesterday about how when we run it's all about times, pace etc. Same with lots of things.

I have a bad foot and went for a relaxed run with the dog, no pressure, and it was so much more enjoyable.

Pushing hard has its place but we should all "slow down and smell the roses" for want of a better phrase

Contentment is almost a form of rebellion these days

I can't be arsed with any of it. Except the having a hobby thing, I do need a project (and Lexapro!) or I start getting the screaming heeby jeebies. And reducing plastic seems worthwhile to me. Kale can fuck off though, unless it's in the form of colcannon with loads of mash and butter and salt and pepper, which I think would be frowned upon these days.

I don't do social media much (other than MN, obviously) and that tends to expose me to less of that shite. I intend to keep it that way.

It's self-obsession that can easily spiral in, I think. Beyond good self-care, rest and nourishment, I'm much happier when my focus is outward, not inward!

I see your point entirely but I think yabu. I agree that eating more kale and doing a downward facing dog pose every morning isn't going to solve the issue of e.g. not having enough money/under-employment/generally life being shit.

But I am a huge advocate for any small/minor thing which at least helps. I was very sceptical of mindfulness but since I've been practicing it I've for example reduced intrusive thoughts. It's not an either or. It's about moderation.

Eating more avocados and smiling more isn't going to help me pay the bills, granted... but at least I won't be so miserable doing so. Take from it what you like... you don't have to subscribe to the whole 'religious' element of it.

It might be better to reframe "self improvement" as "self nurture".

That's how I work it with people.

Being content and happy with what you have makes you happier than never being happy with what you have an wanting more.

Theres a revolutionary quote somewhere saying (roughly) that when we stop spending money down the play house and we stop spending money to go dancing and we stop spending our money in public houses (pubs) and aquire material possessions and have hordes of money instead we will lose our enjoyment of life and be slaves to capitalism.

I don't mind people doing things for themselves if they have a problem or enjoy something, but its the constant message that being normal and average is not good enough that is causing a lot of anxiety for people. They feel they always fall short and are not ok when they are fine.

Beyond good self-care, rest and nourishment, I'm much happier when my focus is outward, not inward!
@NearlyGranny - that is so true!

I’m sorry for your difficulties and I am sure constant pressure to improve can’t be easy for you.

I have a slightly different take on things though. I am reaching retirement age and work very few hours now. There is little stress or pressure in my life. Without challenges I would find it very easy to hang around the house and do very little all day. When this has happened in the past I have become lethargic and drifted into depression. Nowadays I can set myself various lifestyle and fitness challenges via apps and habit trackers and log my successes and failures on line. These things add some zest to my life, stop me stagnating and improve my physical and mental health. And if I do feel down I can look back at my records to remind myself of what I have achieved. So for me the drive for self improvement is life enhancing and improves my physical and mental health.

Doesn't matter what you call it, it's still mostly bollocks.

If you have a problem sort it out- don't mess about with neon green smoothie enemas or what have you.

I have a friend like this. Takes every supplement and yoga class ever. Still miserable. Her bloke is a tosser you see- total displacement

I totally agree op. It’s all neoliberalisms fault. Endless targets. Market knows best. It’s seeped into every orifice. Go away!

@OMGshefoundmeout

Why not do something useful? Volunteer at a charity shop or something?

Apologies if that is harsh, but that's the subject of the thread

I have volunteered extensively for the last 20 years. I’ve cut back now and only do 5 to 8 hours a week cooking and cleaning for a homeless shelter as well as some ad hoc catering for charity events. I find it quite boring now but I do it because I really care about the causes.

What is lacking at my time of life is challenge and having worked extensively in retail a charity shop would not challenge me! Nor would it improve the quality of my life. Self improvement does. Change is always hard for anyone. The achievement of breaking old bad habits and acquiring new good habits is very satisfying to me mentally quite apart from any benefits these changes bring about.

Why not do something useful? Volunteer at a charity shop or something?

I see OMG does volunteer but surely this is just another form of self improvement.

No, volunteering is for others! I put in a stint overseas earlier this year where my particular skills were needed and I benefitted hugely in satisfaction and amazing new friendships but that wasn't why I went. There was no time to think about myself except how I was going to get where I was going (mostly on foot) and how to keep cool (I couldn't!)

I think volunteering benefits both parties.

I agree that people are generally at their best when their focus is outward rather than inward.