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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone knows someone like this?

51 replies

Maltybiscuit · 01/10/2019 13:45

DH old University friends and partners who we see a few times a year (3/4 couples and children) Usually we have a nice time but recently one particular (dw mainly) couple really really have started to get into this 'it was so much worse for us', I'll give some examples.

I revealed prior to Ds I'd had several miscarriages, response was 'she had had some but were more weeks than mine so mine didn't really count 😔"

Ds not walking yet hes over 19 months but has been discovered to have significant different leg lengths. We have a referral in a few weeks.
Obviously there DS had exactly the same but the condition was much worse and they needed a specialist on Harley Street! Hmm

And don't ever bring a birth story up, she was in labour for a week and a half, had to be transfered to many different hospitals etc

So whatever the story good or bad they have to out do you in some way, I don't use social media platforms much apart from here but when I have in the past its #makingmemories and their DM and MIL commenting constantly. Maybe this behaviour stems from them?

I'm a bit older so maybe I'm just a bore or don't care about the same shit.

We are due to see them in a few weeks and I'd really like to not go.

Sorry for the ramble, it's off my chest now

OP posts:
MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 01/10/2019 15:07

Ah, a good old fashioned story topper.
Tedious.

GettingABitDesperateNow · 01/10/2019 15:12

I think lots of people do this to a certain extent as they will try and join in talking about a topic. In some ways people can be trying to help eg for a medical issue it's good to know what to expect. But the miscarriage comment was horrible, who turns something like that into a competition!?

Options are -
Dont go
Go and try and do an activity or something do you dont have to chat as much
Ignore their comments or dont initiate any conversation
Tell them it's not a conversation, just because they have a worde problem doesnt mean it's not stressful and upsetting for you, but youd appreciate their advice on xyz etc

Original poster
Maltybiscuit · 01/10/2019 15:24

Thanks for all your comments, it's given me a right chuckle on such a rainy day.
Yep we shall be voting with our feet definitely,. Its a 3.5hr drive anyway which is bad enough and then to be bored with this utter bollocks when we get there.

So glad other people know others like this and it's not just me.

The MC comment still hurts now but you have to just move on I guess.

OP posts:
StewDad · 01/10/2019 15:26

The Sterephonics wrote one of the best lyrics I've ever heard.
'If I said I had a flying giraffe, you'd have one in a box with a window!'

Whatever you've done, they've always done better but I can't believe she's competing with you over miscarriages!?!
Not worth your time or your worry, kick them to touch and remove their negativity from your life.

shemakesmewaitonabedofnails · 01/10/2019 15:28

Oh my life. Elevenerife just made me snort.

Original poster
Maltybiscuit · 01/10/2019 15:31

BransterGrin

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 01/10/2019 15:41

Definitely not worth a 3.5 hour drive for!!!!!

I've got a friend who has always got it worse than anyone else. If you mention about being tired then she's been awake all night. If you say money's tight then she goes on about how she's on her own and has to pay everything herself.
If you say you've got so much to do, she'll say it's harder for her because she works longer hours blah blah bloody blah!!!!
It's incredibly annoying

Notquitemyselfanymore · 01/10/2019 15:41

Ah yes. I worked with a “story beater”. Anything anyone would say, she’d have a related story to beat it. She was so rude and would completely take over any conversation even if she was not involved. I went on one night out with her and never again, it was all about her.

Original poster
Maltybiscuit · 01/10/2019 15:43

Actually I just thought of something else she said which was hilarious.
During pregnancy I'd said how I hadn't felt ds kick until around 24 weeks, (anterior high placenta)
She's said she felt her dd kick at 1 week pregnant!! Confused

I came back with 'hmm maybe you just need to have a big poo!!'

OP posts:
Girasole02 · 01/10/2019 15:47

The only time I have ever ghosted anyone was in this situation. You can't win with these people so it's not worth trying. Just cut em loose and let them bullshit someone prepared to listen.

Londonmummy66 · 01/10/2019 15:52

If you do have to meet them again then you try some sort of bingo with your DH - see how many times you could get them to "surpass" you - person who get them to eleven(eriffe) wins?

GaudyNight · 01/10/2019 15:52

I can't imagine driving for three and a half hours to be confronted with that. Either just leave a long, dubious silence, bristling with disbelief and boredom after every conversation hi-jack, or play them at their own game and top their stories with ever more incredible ones of your own.

He had a disruptive class? Well, yours all took magic mushrooms at breaktime, took all the staff hostage in the art room, and were about to burn down the school singing 'Puff the Magic Dragon' when you finally managed to attract a passer-by's attention by climbing out onto a fourth-floor windowsill with a banner reading HELP.

Their child had different-length legs and needed a Harley Street specialist? Well, yours was born with three legs (four? seven?) and needed to be flown to the Mayo clinic to have the extra one/s removed, and it was such an unusual condition it was named after your child, and the Lancet did a special issue on it, and your child is hugely famous as a result in paediatric ortho circles.

Yadda yadda.

letsdolunch321 · 01/10/2019 16:01

Sorry, I could not be bothered to spend time, petrol/wear & tear on my car or conversation on this person.

I would be saving my energy for people I enjoy being around not some insecure twat

SaintWillibald · 01/10/2019 16:06

What a pain for you OP and how hurtful re the MC comments.

If you do see them again and they start on this say something along the lines of “Oh, I didn’t realise this was a competition. Ok, let’s do this then”. Then proceed to make more and more outlandish claims. Or you could just not go and save yourself a lot of hours that you’d never get back!

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 01/10/2019 16:07

I would go and respond to her every challenge with" lovely dear" thanks for that input I just knew we could rely on you to clarify everything!I have never known anyone so young with such an amazing insight on everything..twinkly smile ..turn to husband now darling where were we
But then I am a cow and love to make Elevenerife people squirm!

Original poster
Maltybiscuit · 01/10/2019 16:43

I kind of want to go now so DH and I can indulge ourselves in a bit of 'bingo', I've got three weeks to think of some even more outlandish claims and to use some of your hilarious suggestions, thanks people of MN I salute you :-)

OP posts:
Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 01/10/2019 16:45

Go OP have a little fun at her expense...bet you can tie her in knots if you put your mind to it!!! I would.

TwoPupsandaHamster · 01/10/2019 16:49

Ah! I know her....she's the lady with a black cat that's much blacker than anybody else's cat right? 😉

BlingLoving · 01/10/2019 17:03

I knew a woman like this.

We had a strategy..... make up ridiculous and outrageous stories just to see what she comes up with. We were students at the time so if we were at a bar, there was drinking involved. [and yes, it did mean half of us would be getting legless while the other half, who weren't in on it, h ad no idea what was going on].

WooMaWang · 01/10/2019 17:10

@Maltybiscuit I think not going is the best plan.

The one week pregnant story is even more hilarious as that's before conception. 😂 Her period would only just have finished.

What an idiot. And a bit malicious by the sounds of it, as several things she one ups about are quite cruel. xxx

WooMaWang · 01/10/2019 17:11

Sorry about the kisses. That's a mix of habit and autocorrect. 😊

CouldBeAGreatMum · 01/10/2019 17:22

Turn it into a game. Do a sweepstake with your DH over how many 'one ups' they'll have. Or compete to get them to have the most outlandish counter experience! Wink

lyralalala · 01/10/2019 17:26

Silent Bingo is the only way to deal with a Sally Two Shedder.

DH brought up the time I met the Queen the last time we met the one we have to deal with every now and again. Took me all my willpower not to laugh when he talked about her visiting the village and it being my job to show her where to sit and stand and I realised he was talking about the Gala Queen.

Two Shedder could only say that she'd met some "important" people, but couldn't say who for "reasons". She was genuinely stumped for ages Grin

S0upertrooper · 01/10/2019 17:47

She sounds a complete arse OP, wide berth. Hoping this doesn't sound Elevenrife but DH and I went through a really shit time many moons ago and split up as a result. We eventually got our shit sorted and after a lot of heartache, got back together. SIL, his S, recently split from her now ExH and we sympathetically noted that we understood because we had gone through the same thing. Apparently her situation is worse because we got back together..... Nothing has ever happened until it has happened to her and never as bad as it has happened to her. She's an arse and we avoid her like the plague.

iklboo · 01/10/2019 17:49

MENSA have been in touch as your DS has tested with an IQ of 172

Your parents were stuck after Thomas Cook collapse and had to walk home from Bulgaria

MI5 approached your DH but he is too good looking / important in his current job to be a spy

Ed Sheeran asked to use your house for a video / intimate gig