to dislike cousins pushing my children to kiss her daughter goodbye?

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DP's cousin (in her 30's) always asks my children who are aged 2 and 4 to kiss her DD who is 2 goodbye. She's quite insistent and will say repeatedly 'Kiss xxx goodbye' and when they don't she'll say 'come on xx give xx a kiss goodbye' I think she asks them to kiss her DD goodbye because they're older, albeit only by months. I always try to make light of it and say they don't really like kissing goodbye but she always pushes! Every time! and then gets stroppy because they won't. Why do people do this? I won't force my children to kiss people goodbye if they don't want to.

Stand up for your children and let this cousin have a tantrum if she chooses to. Tell her very clearly that you want her demands to kiss end immediately. It makes your children uncomfortable and it's inappropriate.

Tell her you don’t want her dc kissing yours, that she’s uncomfortable with it.

Don’t make light of it because that doesn’t work.

I hate this and I will usually say something like “Oh he’s not really into the whole kissing thing to be honest, sorry.” Which is a way of a) saying no on behalf of your child and b) also getting in a bit of a dig about the fact they even want the DC to do this to each other on request.

I think it’s super cute when toddlers spontaneously hug each other but enforced kissing is awful.

Teach them to fist bump instead!!
Yanbu I hate it when dc are are made to perform..

I won't force my children to kiss people goodbye if they don't want to.

But you'll let someone else force them. They see adults as authority figures so will do as they're told. You need to stand up for them.

I always say to my DD do you want to give x a kiss or not today? I want my daughter to understand that she has to consent to bodily contact and it’s not something she does if she wants. Blowing kisses can also be a alternative to ask if your child wants.

Tell your cousin that you are teaching the children that they have control over their bodies not other people. If they don’t want a hug / kiss / tickle, you are not going to force them to.

Tell her you are also teaching them that no means no and that if they try to do something to someone else and that person says no, they have to respect that.

If she strops tough shit.

I like the idea of a fist bump or high five

You have to be firm back to this cousin. Once your child has made clear they don't want to and she starts to push, then either step in and quite calmly and firmly say "Please don't push this. The children have made it quite clear they don't want to and it's not something we force in our family", or alternatively a cheery (to your DCs) "Don't worry, you don't have to give kisses if you don't want to. How about a nice wave goodbye instead?"

I taught mine they could kiss people or blow kisses, their choice. As we left I'd say kisses and goodbyes and they would blow kisses at everyone. If it was just grandparents, they would usually give hugs and kisses

My kids have to be polite and acknowledge people as we're leaving, saying thank you for having us etc. as appropriate, but I never make them kiss - they high five their cousins generally!