Am I being unreasonable about my partner's drinking

[CharmaineJacobs1982]

Dear all,

I need some insight.
I have been with my partner for 5 years. We both liked to party when we first met. At first it was fun. Then I became pregnant a year after we met. It felt to me like the drinking intensified. When I say drinking, let me give you an example of something that happened last night: he went to a meeting on a monday night to discuss an upcoming work trip he has. At midnight I called him to check if he is ok. He was drunk off his face again. Only got home at 1 this morning.

This has been happening almost on a monthly basis, sometimes twice a month, for the last 4 years. I always made excuses for him or tried to understand him.

I am not concerned about him cheating on me. My concern is for his safety and health.

Am I being unreasonable asking that if he goes to a meeting, etc, he let me know if he decides to go drinking afterwards?

Yanbu. We dont have small dc and we party hard in this house but who gets shit faced on a Monday night?
Why is it always after these meetings and doesn't he have work today?
As you re at home with dc its not unreasonable to expect some support not dealing with a drunk dp.
He sounds hard work.

If it's once a month he should let you know he'll be back late but the night out itself isn't a massive problem to me

He’s getting shitfaced and coming in at 1am? When will be actually see his child? And I’m hoping he hasn’t driven to work this morning.
Massive binges are a threat to health. YANBU. Why is he unable to drink to moderation?

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/684823/AlcohollusedisorderssidentificationtestAUDITT_.pdf

Hopefully this is a link to a screening tool for identifying alcohol use disorders

If drinking is affecting your relationship, then I would say it is a problem. You could make an appointment with your GP to ask their advice first. See what they advise and then sit down and talk with your husband. Is he under pressure at work? Or pressures in any other areas of life that you perhaps don't want to discuss here? I'm only suggesting the GP as they will have dealt with issues like this and will know where to point you to get help if needs be, or if the situation worsens. (Hopefully not).

Sorry, just realised you said partner, not husband.

If it's once a month or so, it's not that concerning.
But the not keeping you in the loop of what he's doing, and also the fact you say it's getting progressively worse is.

Getting drunk once a month would not be an issue for me nor would going out after work but I would expect a text to let me know.