I'm fed up of making all the decisions.

[ssd]

About everything bloody thing.

I assume this is about a partner? Can you tell them and ask they take a more active part in decision making?

It's so frustrating having to think for everyone else.

Well, yes.
It's weekends, where will we go, what will we do..... Its all down to me. I want him to decide and be spontaneous.

I organise everything, EVERYTHING!!!
Money, food, kids stuff, house stuff.
He organises sports stuff, cos he enjoys it.
When the kids leave home I'm stopping and he can sort himself out.

Stop doing it all
Tell him he needs to step up

My DH is a bit shit and lets me decide all the family stuff. He does do more of the financial and household stuff, but we also share a lot of it too.

Recently I arranged an evening out and he said how much he enjoyed it, and why didn't we do it more often? I said he never bothered to organise it or arrange to take me out, these things always come from me.
He agreed and said he'd try it but we've just had a baby so I don't want to go out for a few months anyway.

I asked him last week to take the initiative to organise family things at the weekend as I was fed up of doing it. He said he would, and did.
They can do it, my DH just needed a prod.

Can you have a proper conversation with him and tell him it's unfair he expects you to do everything?

Stop doing it now. When asks you a question throw it back at him "What are your suggestions?"

I organise everything, EVERYTHING!!!
Money, food, kids stuff, house stuff

Just STOP. And tell him to step up.

Why is it a problem? You make the decisions, you've got control. If he made all the decisions you wouldn't like it. You'd say he was controlling.

Yes! I hear you. I do everything. If I didn't do it DH just wouldn't which is not fair on me and the DC. If I give him something specific to do e.g. choose and book a restaurant he'll decide we can just find somewhere spontaneously which of course never works as everywhere is already booked and we end up trudging round with miserable hungry DC and end up somewhere crappy that has space. What's more is that he resents me for doing it. He likes to think of himself as a feminist and so me doing all the wifework doesn't fit his view of himself as a modern man. Doesn't make him actually get off his arse though.

In our house we have "You Choose's". Me and my wife get a set amount each month where we can hit each other with a "You Choose". Normally it's something trivial like where to go on a Sunday afternoon, what takeaway to get etc.

Obviously serious decisions are generally discussed in a (hopefully) more mature way.

The one thing I can't stand (he says, kind of jokingly) is the following question (normally on a Sunday):

"What would you like to do today?"

Sounds innocent enough but I have, after many years, discovered that it isn't actually an enquiry as to how I'd like to spend the day.

"What would you like to do today?" should be rephrased as...

"You have precisely 20 seconds to think of an activity lasting a minimum of a few hours which will be universally enjoyed by a man (who'd quite happily go to the pub and watch the football), a woman (who definitely wouldn't like to do the above) and a borderline teenager (who, frankly, doesn't want to do anything). Naturally, said activity can't be too expensive, too far away and suitable for the weather and, for the love of God, don't dare even think about saying how you would ACTUALLY like to spend your day. Oh...your time's up, I guess I'LL have to make the decision then!"

(the above is said tongue-in-cheek and I'm sure applies equally to men and women)

25PBo83