Childcare when ill

[ivfbabymomma1]

I don't really know what answers I'm expecting here but please don't be too harsh I've been crying all morning! (FTM) Sunday I developed a really nasty cold and sore throat! I have a 11 weeks old baby and I was worried about him getting it so yesterday and and today my husband has taken the baby to my mums on the way to work and then picked him up on the way back from work whilst I'm ill. (I know this is a luxury) but I really feel awful that I haven't cuddled or played with my baby since Sunday and I won't be doing today as he's with his nan. I really miss him and I've only been doing the bare essentials! Ie feeding and changing him but no cuddles or further interaction. I don't really know what my aibu question is to be honest! I just feel like a rubbish mum or he'll think I've abandoned him or something 😭

@Chamomileteaplease Exactly!!! I mean he might not remember it in the future but is he wondering where I am right now? That fills me with sadness even if tomorrow he doesn't remember. If that makes sense! Again I'm probably being ridiculous - I think I've made a big mountain out of a mole hill but I'm sure it won't be the last time haha! I mean I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old and yes I don't remember it but it definitely affects who I am as a person (not very attached to people if that make sense) apart from my little one which probably makes it worse leaving him! I feel so daft for making such a dramatic thread! The things we do when we are tired and I'll eh 😂😂

@Damntheman thank you!! And yes she really is! She's probably secretly loving the fact I'm ill so she can pinch him for a few hours!

If you have the baby back in the evenings I don't see how it is stopping the baby getting the illness in any way. The best way to avoid babies getting ill is to breastfeed them through your illness, although if you're able to have LO away all day I'm guessing you bottle feed.
I suppose you've realised you're being a bit precious, I don't really know anyone who had their babies looked after by anyone else no matter how ill they are.

@raspberryk I'm not having him looked after because I feel I need the peace or the rest! I'm just trying to do the best for him, although I realise I am being dramatic! Just a panicky first time mum! Yes he's back this afternoon when my husband is back from work, and yes bottle fed.

If you’re adopted I think the anxiety is even more understandable. I used to lie awake at night when the twins were in NICU imagining they were crying for me and I wasn’t there - it was really horrible. But your baby is with their loving grandparent and I’m sure is being taken wonderful care of. Give yourself a break :)

And keep an eye on your anxiety, I found that mine spiralled out of control when mine were small which made everything that much more difficult. Do speak to someone if you find that happening

@SinkGirl I feel awful for being like this when in perspective your littles ones were in ICU and mine is just round the corner with his nan!! 🙈 but thank you for being so nice! I was gonna mention the anxiety to my HV next week! ❤️

I think getting him someone else to look after him just because you have a cold is ott.

Think how many tiny babies are living with snotty older siblings or parents who are ill but don't have anyone else to have them.

@formerbabe your probably right!

If it’s the same thing I have, it’s not “just a cold”. I would be very uncomfortable caring for a small baby in this situation but I wouldn’t have had a choice. OP has the offer of help - why not take it? If she can rest and recover faster then that’s better for everyone.

He may not even catch it anyway but if he's otherwise healthy, a cold wouldn't be the end of the world.

I remember looking after my DC when I had awful flu...it was hellish but weirdly they never caught it.

Sometimes babies and children get ill...it's a fact of life. We can't completely avoid it.

I agree with a pp to keep an eye on how you're feeling and your anxiety.

Small babies can develop bronchiolitis very easily and we are entering peak bronchiolitis season, even if they are perfectly healthy. When DT2 was in paeds HDU (they thought it was bronchiolitis initially but was actually whooping cough), there was an endless stream of babies with bronchiolitis. Endless. One other baby was a small preemie but most were healthy babies - one was a three month old the size of a small toddler, he was very sturdy but very sick. He ended up back in HDU 8 times in the proceeding 12 months with bronchiolitis again. The HDU beds were in such demand that there were always 3 other babies waiting for the 3 beds - and DT2 was in there for 11 nights, in fairness most others were only in there for a couple.

If I could make it less likely that a small baby would end up with bronchiolitis, I would. It’s really unpleasant and they can’t do anything except give high flow oxygen and pain relief. They can’t feed the babies much as their expanded stomachs make it harder for their lungs to work. It’s really unpleasant.

Plenty of time to build immunity to bugs when they’re a bit bigger and stronger. If you have the option I would definitely take it - my fantasy is having a sick day in bed like I used to pre-kids (although I did get a few hours yesterday when they were at nursery).

Small babies can develop bronchiolitis very easily and we are entering peak bronchiolitis season, even if they are perfectly healthy. When DT2 was in paeds HDU (they thought it was bronchiolitis initially but was actually whooping cough), there was an endless stream of babies with bronchiolitis

Of course you need to be sensible and careful with babies, and of course if you're in a paeds hdu you will see that...what you won't be seeing is the countless babies at home with a cold who are absolutely fine. Not saying take their health for granted at all, just making the point that the vast majority of babies are not living in sterile bubbles...they are on public transport, in shops, at home with older siblings who are picking up all sorts from school and nursery.

I know this is an old post... but he caught my cold regardless so that was all rather pointless really 😂😂

Looking after a baby when you are ill is one of the hardest parts of parenting IMO.

Your arrangement sounds like a really good idea. Make the most of getting time to rest and look forward to seeing baby again when you are better. I wish I had family on hand to help like that - you are very lucky to have a good support network.

Oops just seen your last post. I hope he gets better soon.

@Lindy2 ha ha thank you!!! I tried to protect him!! Bless him he's getting better thank you! It is really hard to look after a baby when your ill! I salute the people who do it without any additional support!