to acknowlege this anniversary?

[Iamboudicca]

DPs would have been celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next week. My DM died almost 25 years ago. I have never( or have been expected to) ackowledged their wedding anniversary.

DF has been with his DP for about 15 years now.

I have had a difficult relationship with my DF and only speak about once a month - birthday cards etc. AIBU to send a card for this?

Perhaps not. I think your motive could be easily misconstrued.

Why on earth would you? Do you dislike him and his long term partner and want to upset them in some way?

I would ring him on the day.

I wouldn’t. A wedding anniversary is a celebration between the married couple. If they choose to have a party then yes a card and/pressie would be right. But you e never acknowledged it before so why now. Also your DF has a new partner so it wouldn’t be appropriate.

I think it's more appropriate to remember her on the anniversary of her death or her birthday. Maybe write a letter to him on one of those days. I am not even sure what card you would send.

Sad that you are not in closer contact, is this something you could rectify?

What... No that's quite odd. Do you want to upset your dad and partner?

I really don’t understand why you’d do this...

Really, really, no.

15 years doesn’t make her a “new partner” by any stretch of the imagination.

Leave them alone.

It's the worst idea ever - please don't do this. What the hell are you even thinking?!

thanks, thats clear then. I have such an odd relationship with him I don’t know what is normal.

although - it didnt say this clearly, it would not have been a golden wedding anniversary card - but more of a note...

still scrapping the idea though

Ah, op you miss your mum. I can see why she’d come into your thinking with this date coming. Do you have siblings? You could have a low key coffee with them or a friend who knew her on the day and remember her together?