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Original poster

WWYD - family situation

40 replies

Thisisstrange2019 · 30/09/2019 16:40

Family court situation going on ATM between parents and sister regarding access for DNiece.

Grandparents want access to granddaughter and have to go the court to try and get access.

I don't talk to sis as we have never got along. My life has been much happier since I went non contact with her.

She received the court summons and rang me crying and spoke down the phone non stop for 7 minutes about it and how she didn't want to go to court.

I rang her back a few days saying the situation was causing too much stress on her and parents and could I be the go between to help with the access situation. She said she would think about it but never got back to me. I didn't put any pressure on her and didn't ring or text again other than to say thanks to her for dropping her dd to my ds party.

Parents got solicitor letter from her today and the last line said 'we are also aware that her sister (me) became involved causing our client stress and this should not happen'.

I'm fuming because she rang me first involving me and I have the call log to prove it. And then I only called her back to try and resolve the situation that she involved me in in the first place.

So if you were in my situation what would you do now?

OP posts:
Ridiclious · 30/09/2019 17:49

Yes apologies. I wouldn't order anyone to do anything! 'In order that my involvement...'

Original poster
Thisisstrange2019 · 30/09/2019 18:06

Could I email the solicitor or would it be best in a letter?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 30/09/2019 18:10

Solicitors use email all the time. So if that's easiest, go with that.

Totalwasteofpaper · 30/09/2019 18:11

Ridiclious Is spot on in my opinion.

Set the record straight with immediate effect and give a copy to your parents too.

your sister sounds horrendous and I can’t even imagine how hard it’s been for your poor niece to have the 2 people who truly cared for her cut from her life so abruptly :(

SusieOwl4 · 30/09/2019 18:16

I agree with the email . Just set the records straight . No opinions just facts. Your poor parents and niece. I hope they get access .

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/09/2019 18:30

Ridiclious is spot on
Agreed.

Your sister sounds horrible. She’s depriving her dd of a loving relationship with what sounds to be primary care givers.

Jux · 30/09/2019 18:32

Gosh, I am so sorry for your niece particularly, and you and your parents. I do hope you all get access, and that your sis starts behaving like a reasonable person. Or that your parents get niece ft..

Alexel · 30/09/2019 18:56

Screen shot evidence, download acr or some phonecall recording app, cover your ass against liars.

I do this because people are damn crazy.

KTheGrey · 30/09/2019 19:12

How does your sister have custody and your mother not? Doesn't sound like it's in the best interest of your DN to be kept away from your parents. Ouch.

GreenTulips · 30/09/2019 19:27

I think the mother had rights and is using them. You have no idea what control the parents took or what they have said to the sister. Lots of families fall out it’s presumptions to assume the sister is at fault here.

lyralalala · 30/09/2019 19:35

I think the mother had rights and is using them. You have no idea what control the parents took or what they have said to the sister. Lots of families fall out it’s presumptions to assume the sister is at fault here.

The mother doesn’t have rights, but she has responsibilities. Keeping a child from the people who cared for her until she was 5, then cares for her 5 days a week until relatively recently means that unless she’s got exceptional reasons (which if the grandparents have got to the point of a court date it doesn’t sound like) then she’s worrying more about her rights than her responsibilities to her daughter. The child’s rights are what is important

Ferretyone · 30/09/2019 19:55

@Thisisstrange2019

If a person has received a summons to go to court [which I somewhat doubt] then she has to go. She can apply to the court - as a separate matter - to have the summons set aside but that must be done prior to the hearing and will probably involve [another] hearing with her there

Original poster
Thisisstrange2019 · 30/09/2019 20:09

Thanks to all who helped with the email, I have sent it now.

@Ferretyone
She has a summons, I saw the copy of it that was sent to my parents.
She is trying to get them to cancel the court date and that is the purpose of the letter received today. The letter says if they cancel the court then she will 'consider' letting them have access again.
Unfortunately she can't be trusted to follow through in allowing access if they cancel the court date.

OP posts:
StockTakeFucks · 30/09/2019 20:23

I think the mother had rights and is using them.

So does the child. She has the right to keep in contact with the people that were her primary care givers for the first 5 years of her life, unless they are abusive or neglectful to her.

Can you imagine living with someone for 5 years and then not seeing them at all? Especially as a child.

Magicmama92 · 01/10/2019 09:01

I would now not speak with your sister you've done right emailing the solicitor. If she rings say I dont want to discuss anything or if you have caller I'd just do not answer. She sounds very manipulative to me.

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