To be cross at this man and on behalf of his wife?

[MidiMitch]

Every week I go swimming on a Sunday night and see this same family- four children and mum and dad. Every week the same thing happens. Mum gets out and takes two youngest boys to get showered leaving the two older girls playing with dad. Then mum returns with showered boys and collects two older girls and goes back to changing room with four children whilst dad goes into changing room alone. I just think that this is really unfair and always feel a bit sorry for mum who barely has time to dress herself. I know it's none of my business but it makes me really cross!

Presumably with the showering she prefers the female showers and changing rooms for her kids!

Absolutely none of your business. Say something and see what's said

Unless she’s obviously annoyed about the arrangement it could be done that way for preference? I don’t think it’s something to get angry about on a strangers behalf though

Maybe they’re his stepchildren?

Maybe there's a reason why; one of the DC might have a disability or difficulty that Mum is better at handling, one of them might have had a bad experience in the men's changing rooms, Mum might be a control freak and refuse to let Dad dress them, Dad might be an inept shit who can't control them, maybe he's their Step Dad and doesn't want to overstep, who knows? Maybe it's just what works best for their family.

Unless the DC are at risk or being harmed in some way it's not really worth being cross at any of them.

Parents might not want kids in male changing rooms, hence my.taking them at a manageable 2 at a time.

Mum might be more thorough in making sure they get washed, hair wash etc

Kids might not want to go with dad!

Ladies changing rooms might be warmer, have more hairdyers or showers?

My mum uses to do this. Because she waant comfortable with dbro in the mens changing rooms and insisted dad xouldnt wash my long hair properly. He could. She just used to insist on doing things, despite my dad constantly saying 'I'll do that'

Cooking, cleaning anything. If he did it first she would do it again to prove how useless he was and how she 'had to do everything'. He is retired now and does it all at home as she works full time. She still insists she does it all.

Fact is you domt know why it's done that way or what's going on behind closed doors. Getting annoyed on behalf of someone you dont know is odd.

Who wants their children around men parading naked? On the occasions I walked past the changing rooms and a man was walking in or out at the local leisure centre, it was almost guaranteed there would be a naked man or two strolling across the doorway - the ex said it happened even with just cubicles provided; men would get naked in the shared area and in the showers - he refused to use the toilets in there because of the number of times there would be somebody drying their pubic hair and arsecrack under the hand drier.

Or maybe it's the dad's chance at 10 minutes to himself and is encouraged by the mum? You have no idea what their situation is, seems totally weird to be annoyed at him!

But why not use the family changing room - four kids. Split it in two - then you will be out quicker!

I’m with you op most odd but as my dear late nan would have said there is nowt as queer as folk.

He's there, he's playing with his kids in the pool everyweek. He's looking after two of them while his wife washes two of them.
There may be reasons why none of the children go with him (she may not want her boys in the mens).
If she took them to the pool without him, it wouldn't be on your radar.

But why not use the family changing room - four kids. Split it in two - then you will be out quicker!

Who know? Maybe the 2 left in the pool like some times with their dad alone.

Maybe the mother is a control freak.

Still no reason to annoyed on someone elses behalf.

How lovely that they swim together every week as a family is what I would be thinking.

Maybe they're not his kids?

Maybe it turns into pandemonium in another order (kids act up), they want the girls to have extra time in pool, or it's harder to organise the stuff. Anyway, it's their choice. Hardly crime of century.

Assuming with 4 kids at that at least one of them is over 6 years old and able to shower and dress themselves anyway?

Fucking hell there's always some nosey bastard judging away. He's there enjoying family time with the wife and kids, which is nice isn't it? Leave them be and worry about your own life ffs.

Cooking, cleaning anything. If he did it first she would do it again to prove how useless he was and how she 'had to do everything'. He is retired now and does it all at home as she works full time. She still insists she does it all.

Do we have the same mother? My dad has stopped asking now and she moans about that too. He has his faults but sometimes I think he can’t win.

Maybe the deal is Mum deals with kids and he cooks dinner when they get in. Maybe mum is a terrible control freak Who won't let her DH do it. Who knows but you certainly don't know anything about them from what you see or a few minutes once a week.

You have absolutely no idea of their arrangements,OP. It's very bizarre you feel annoyed about this.

My DH and I take DS swimming most weeks. DH is not confident in water at all. Doesn't like water on his face () so if any of the other regulars pay any attention it looks like I do all the playing and DH is just in the background. And they would be right, but this is exclusively swimming. DH does the majority of the rest of the playing. And cooking. And washing

Don't be so quick to judge OP, basically.