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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours away...

34 replies

Shortperson · 29/09/2019 13:04

There is just me and my neighbours along a drive which I own and they have a right of way over. My neighbours have two grown up kids so four cars are going up and down the drive in front of my house every day. It can get annoying, car doors slamming late at night. I’m pretty tolerant and believe in live and let live. They have complained about my old dog barking, my burglar alarm going off occasionally.

My neighbours keep themselves to themselves and only speak to me to complain.

I have fenced off the front of my house because my neighbours visitors were reversing my drive late at night t9 get out. They have a circular drive which is blocked because of their cars. This cost me £2000.00 I then had to widen the drive to access my garage, another £2000.00. Now that I’ve widen the drive this has meant my neighbours kids and visitors speed up and down my drive.

Yesterday I was doing some gardening to the side of the drive and the younger child sped past me without even noticing I was there. I had to quickly step aside or I’d been knocked over. No apology. It’s like I don’t exist yet it’s my land they drive up all day and late at night.

In the week their outside lights in their back garden were left on for three days and two nights which shine right in my bedroom.

The parents are on holiday and it has been lovely and peaceful as the kids don’t always live at home so no cars, doors slamming.

Last night a load of cars arrived 8 or 9:and a loud party started from 8 pm and didn’t stop till 2 am. I traipsed around and knocked loudly twice at 1:00 am. Party in full swing, no response. I think another neighbour at the end of their garden drove around at 2:00 pm to complain and the music stopped.

This is the first time the kids have had party whilst the parents are away and I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t have family or partner and have no one to talk to.

I’m feeling wretched through lack of sleep but conscious it’s me and my neighbours.

My neighbours are not self aware and it’s incremental things that I’m putting up with...volume of cars, their dog getting through my front gate and pooing on the lawn, not feeling safe when I’m tending the drive - which is part my garden - now a party. The cost of fencing to feel safe, having drive widened. I do feel that I just don’t exist where my neighbours are concerned.

Is this enough to complain about and, if so should I call around and explain how I feel with dates and times? I don’t want to wind them up.

What is the best way to handle this? Do I speak to children today are wait fir the parents to come back off holiday?

I did call 101 at 1:30 pm but Police don’t get involved. The Council don’t have out of hours and if I do complain this is registered and it will go against me when I sell in a couple of years.

OP posts:
AbsolCatly · 29/09/2019 13:07

It's more expense but if it was my drive I would look at getting speed bumps but then I can be very passive aggressive - the rest I would ignore for the main part just making sure the rest of my garden was secure from their dog

Apolloanddaphne · 29/09/2019 13:09

If the party was a one off then i think you just need to let it go.

To stop them speeding up your drive could you install speed bumps? I know this would cost you more money but would make them slow down.

Weebitawks · 29/09/2019 13:09

Hmm honestly a lot of the stuff, while I completely understand is very annoying, is just part and parcel of living near people. Obviously the almost knocking you over is the only think I'd say is particularly out of order. The party was a one off so I personally wouldn't make a big deal about that.

Dollymixture22 · 29/09/2019 13:36

My neighbours woke me up at three am. Their party spilled into the garden and some annoying woman kept shouting and laughing really loudly. It’s a one off and I will let it go because there is nothing in it for me to complain.

On the other hand they have a dog that barks constantly. I am on the verge of complaining - but haven’t worked up the nerve yet😊

Cherrysoup · 29/09/2019 13:51

Sell. I used to have the world’s worst neighbours (punched me for daring to ask if they would mind turning down the music at stupid o’clock). The only permanent resolution is to move away. Sorry.

Shortperson · 29/09/2019 14:09

Thank you for the advice.

Will install speed bumps.

Anyone know where to go for these?

OP posts:
FAQs · 29/09/2019 14:17

Apart from the speeding the cars coming and going is just part of life, the party was a one off so that although annoying at the time isn’t an ongoing issue so wouldn’t bother me. I can’t really picture the drive?

cordeliavorkosigan · 29/09/2019 14:18

Or even bollards where they have to get out and use a key to get through?

Shortperson · 29/09/2019 14:25

The drive sort of goes over my garden from the main road, past my front door and then ends at neighbours gates, there is circle which they turn round to go back down drive. All cars are lined up at one enttrance like a taxi rank...entrance near my house so lots of door banging..they use other entrance to go in.

My deeds say access 24 hours a day for neighbours so was wondering if bollards would break this?

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 29/09/2019 14:30

Speed bumps would be easier than bollards etc.

I’d call landscape gardeners and get quotes.

Straycatstrut · 29/09/2019 14:36

One party once on a Saturday night?! My neighbour has parties that go on ALL night and well into the next day, 10am ish. The music is that awful doof doof doof doof over and over UGH. I don't know how they do it! But it's every few weeks. My kids scream and shout and bang and I shout at them most days so live and let live!

The car thing is out of order. I'd definitely go for the speed bump plan!

miaCara · 29/09/2019 14:37

Gosh I would hate this arrangement. Shared drives are the devils work it seems.
Realistically I would take proper advice on this so that whatever you do is covered legally. You dont want to go to further expense and then find out that it all needs to be removed.

Speak to the neighbours when they return - but not as a complaint. Isnt there something you might have in common that would make then accept you into their sphere of interest -gardening/cars /local interests?
It would be so much better if you and they were on the same side so to speak.

StCharlotte · 29/09/2019 14:38

I Can't picture the layout but could you put a gate on your drive? Even an electric one must be cheaper than installing speed bumps.

StCharlotte · 29/09/2019 14:39

Sorry I've re-read your OP. Definitely look at speed bumps 🙄

Thefemalekeithrichards · 29/09/2019 14:44

@Shortperson

www.theramppeople.co.uk/road-ramps/speed-bumps

AllFourOfThem · 29/09/2019 14:45

As long as the bollards don’t deny them access, it will be fine but speed bumps are probably easier and cheaper. You could also look at a few gates as well which you can shut (I’m guessing they won’t ) so they will also slow them down.

Make a note of the dates/times of the noise, lights shining into your room, almost hitting you on the drive etc and if it persists you can look to take the matter further. However, it might make it difficult for them to sell when the time comes (and obviously you’d probably rather have different neighbours!) and it could be expensive for you.

VenusTiger · 29/09/2019 14:45

Move house. Speed bumps are expensive and will probably put a future buyer of your house off as they’ll be wondering why they’re necessary. You’ve still got the same neighbours after spending thousands too. Move.

athenagoddessofwar · 29/09/2019 15:16

If they're quick to complain about your dog etc , damn sure I'd be complaining back.

DingDongDenny · 29/09/2019 15:22

I can't picture it - I think we need a diagram!

Are they parking on your drive? Because we have right of way on a neighbours property for access, but we aren't allowed to park.

SuperheroBirds · 29/09/2019 16:42

I don’t think you can complain about the volume of cars, as they have a right to drive in and out of their home. I’d also say that so long as the part was a one off, I wouldn’t bother. Even the quietest neighbours might have one party a year.
I would focus any complaints on the speed on the driveway, explaining that it is a safety issue. It is also worth asking if they can change the angle of their outside lighting so it doesn’t shine directly into your bedroom.

Dollymixture22 · 29/09/2019 16:45

Forget about the party - they happen and as long as it isn’t every weekend it’s just one of those things we all have to put up with.

Don’t approach the kids. If you were on speaking terms with the parents, I might mention the intention of getting speed bumps because you feel like you are taking your life in your hand every time you step outside.

Take pictures and get them properly installed, incase the are removed. Also make sure you can’t be liable for any damage to cars caused by the bumps. This will likely be another row with the neighbours so a chat with your solicitor might be worthwhile.

A local builder would be cheaper than a landscape Gardner for speed bumps - also better skills fit.

noenergy · 29/09/2019 16:54

Diagram definitely needed.

Shortperson · 29/09/2019 18:17

Thank you for all your help.

I’ve got some great ideas.

OP posts:
GladAllOver · 29/09/2019 18:26

The only thing about speed bumps is the noise. We have one not far from our house and cars crash over it.