Lunch with people who don't talk!

[Blackbear19]

I have a group of friends, 8 people. Two of them don't talk to each other. If you were organising lunch would you invite both, invite neither, invite the one who's been part of the group the longest?

I've name changed as it could be outing.

Oh, awkward. I’d probably take it in turns since it’s a relatively small gathering.

What relationships do those 2 have with the other 6? That would be a point to consider perhaps?

I’d invite them both. Up to them if they attend and behave themselves.

Invite them all.

If you don’t then you’re taking sides and may lose a friend.

The one who's been part of the group longest is also much closer to the rest of the group.

Invite both. Let both know that. Let them decide.

Invite both, but let each of them know the other person is going to be there. If they've fallen out for a relatively small matter that can be overcome by talking, perhaps also advise them to consider resolving their differences for the sake of the rest of the group?

I would invite them both but, as others have said, make sure you let both know that the other is invited.

What was the fall out about. If one has done "wrong" invite the other. Eg slept with others husband.

I wouldn't say either has done anything 'wrong' they are just two people who've tolerated each other in the past but haven't spoken for about 3 years.

It's just a lunch, not a party or occasion that somebody is hosting.
My fear is they'd dampen the atmosphere. And that others would put out fearing the atmosphere.

If there hasn't been a specific incident to cause the not-talking, I'd do as PP said and invite both but let them know the other is invited. It sounds a bit like they just didn't gel personality wise and haven't had a cause to speak to each other in three years, so I'd hope in that situation that the atmosphere would be fine and they'll just talk politely to each other if necessary.

Invite both. They can sit at opposite ends if they want.

Are they civil to each other?

They have be NC with each other. No cards, no facebook.It's 5 year since I last saw them together that was during a spell when they were talking and being civil.

They've had reason to talk but haven't if that makes sense.

I would invite both but make them aware the other is coming and that as a group you are all aware they don't speak but don't want a bad atmosphere at lunch. It's one of those situations where I think you just have to be upfront about it as all the other options have potential for awkwardness or bad feeling.

They visited a friend in hospital. But didn't say a word to each other.

That all seems a bit extreme just for having nothing in common.

The one who's been part of the group longest is also much closer to the rest of the group.

I think if I’d been close friends with a group of people for a long time, and then I found out they were debating about whether to invite me out or not because I wasn’t talking to a relative newcomer, I’d be pretty pissed off.