Acknowledging cards

[newnameagainagain]

If you send someone a card for their birthday or a get well/thinking of you type card do you expect them to acknowledge it it someway.

I have family members that expect an acknowledgement for every card they send, they also chase up Thanks for gifts. We always get the kids to write a thank you card and post them in reasonable time but this doesn't seem to satisfy.

I received a get well card and they'll follow it up with a 'did you get my card' message.

It seems like over kill to me?

YANBU Sounds like overkill here too. As far as I’m concerned:

Card by itself = no acknowledgement, but may mention next time you see them.

Card with anything in it or gift = acknowledgement/thanks via text/call depending on situation or thank you card in extreme circumstances (usually reserved for elderly or especially generous gifts etc)

I always text the person to say thanks for the card. But I really like receiving cards and want to make that clear 😂. I would never expect acknowledgement though but its nice to know it didn't get lost.

Where does it stop?
Thank you for your card
Thank you for your thank you for the thank you card
Thank you.............

We have a relative that has actually purchased their own birthday card, Easter card (is that even a thing?) and bought DH and I ‘to my husband’ and ‘to my wife’ cards for us to exchange on our wedding day - and posts them through our door for us to write in (we don’t).

With the wedding cards we both politely declined them, and told them to return them to the shop as they were about £5 each. They brought them to our wedding and tried to embarrass us into exchanging them. It’s fucking weird.

I get this with my family, the neverending cycle of awkward thanks for thanks. Just send the card, then without checking assume it arrived and that the recipient liked the picture on it.

We also have to make sure that certain members of the family receive cards with their relationship to us written on - otherwise they are offended.

Expecting a thanks for a card is weird

I think next time you should send them a card saying "thank you for the card". Then text and ask if they got it :)

I always have went with the rule of thumb to send a thank you note for a gift and either text or say thank you in person for a card .

I always text to say thanks for the card. I find it rude if people don’t acknowledge receipt of my cards!

Do they have to text back to acknowledge receipt of your thanks?

I always text to say thanks for a card. Reason being, posting a card is no guarantee it’ll actually arrive (whereas the thank you text IS guaranteed to arrive, for those asking where it ends) so it’s polite to let them know it’s been received and appreciated.

Plus cards are so rare nowadays, I think it’s polite to acknowledge that someone has taken the time to buy one, write in it, purchase a stamp and then find a post box, just to brighten your day or send congrats or whatever. It’s a lot of effort to send a card so I think it’s rude not to thank the sender.

Personally expecting thanks for a card defeats the point of sending a card. It makes the act about you not the recipient.

Do you expect a thanks for a condolence card? Would you really expect someone in the depth of grief to pat you on the back and say thank you for sending me a card?

Similarly get well cards - if you expect thanks then you are taking something away from thought.

It becomes about you being recognised for your generous act of thinking about others.

Thanks for an actual gift of polite

Expecting thanks for a card is narcissistic

Isn't it just polite to thank someone for a card? It takes seconds to send a text, and the sender then knows the card has arrived. There seems to be a type of person on this site who thinks 'thank yous' are unnecessary. Probably the same people who can't be bothered to acknowledge invitations to birthday parties.

Thank yous are for gifts or help.

Do you expect a thanks for a condolence card? Would you really expect someone in the depth of grief to pat you on the back and say thank you for sending me a card?

Actually this was very much a thing. It could either be dealt with by a small ad in the "Acknowledgement" section of the local paper thanking everyone. Or you could do what my Mum did when my Dad died and reply to every single one of the 256 letters and cards she received (he was a popular person and was involved in lots in the town). Apart from the ones that ended "no acknowledgement required" because that was a thing too. This was 40 years ago.

It has literally never occurred to me to send thank yous for cards. If I see the person within a few days of getting it, I might well say thank you, but that's it. I think that anyone who expects and chases up such thanks is bonkers.

Do you expect a thanks for a condolence card? Would you really expect someone in the depth of grief to pat you on the back and say thank you for sending me a card?

I wouldn’t judge anyone for not acknowledging a condolence card, of course. Tbh I probably wouldn’t hold it against someone for not acknowledging any card, but that doesn’t change that I personally would always acknowledge a card somebody has sent me because I find it only polite to do so.

Even when my own mother died, I sent a quick message to thank anyone who sent a card or flowers or a condolence message. Doesn’t mean I would judge anyone for not doing the same. But I have standards for my own behaviour regardless of whether others hold those same standards.

I thank people in person for cards, 99% of cards are handed to me and I rarely get any in the post. For those few, I call them.