To create this thread just for a self indulgent moan?

[ethelfleda]

Because there is nobody I can say it all to in real life? And, if you try to have a moan most people call you out for ‘being negative’?

I am utterly miserable. I have a nearly two year old DS who is adorable and wonderful but I feel I have to try so hard to be a good mum - it doesn’t come easily to me and I am exhausted. He is going through (what I hope is) a phase of constantly rejecting me and pushing me away in favour of DH.
DH is incredibly bossy and is always falling down to me although he swears he doesn’t - I feel like he has no respect for me.
I don’t feel like I ever get a good chunk of time to myself - and these days ‘me time’ is getting to have a shower without an audience.
I don’t think I am cut out for motherhood to be honest. I’m just so miserable and low all the time - I feel like I am disappearing... kind of like I’m viewing my life through a window and I can’t interact with it or make any decisions for myself. I have nothing to look forward to. I am so unbelievably sad.

Sorry if I have dragged you all down!

Op you're not alone! It is just a phase so please don't worry about that. I have a 9 year old son with ASD and a 3 year old son, both of them I adore but by Christ it's tough going. The 3 year old has just started nursery and going through the "threenage" year and is so bloody whiney and crying over EVERYTHING (this morning had a meltdown because his banana broke 🙄) it's doing my head in. DH seems to have taken every opportunity this week to either stay late at work or run errands and is out all day tomorrow for his hobby. I don't remember the last time I had me time but it's coming soon when I book a date day with my bestie and leave them all to it 😂

hanging
it’s good to let it all out, isn’t it?
In my situation, DH is such a brilliant perfect dad that it makes me feel inadequate!! He just doesn’t get emotions though - I’m an inconvenience to him when I’m feeling low and I really can’t talk to him.

Ethelfleda it is indeed! We're having a really tough time with our eldest and aggressive/violent behaviour and serious lacking in help from any professional services and it makes me feel really awful when I lose my patience with him. My DH is emotionally inept as well haha! I'm sure he thinks I'm moaning just for the sake of moaning. I'm taking my boys away for a few days to see my Dad in another country and to be honest, I'm extremely jealous that he will get 4 whole days child free. I know he'll be working but he'll be able to come home and chill and not have the children to deal with. I do wonder sometimes how/why I thought I was cut out for this parenting gig - it is definitely not what I thought it would be like 😂