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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to share your post birth ailments and whether you went on to have more children

37 replies

Dumptyhumpty101 · 28/09/2019 21:17

Since having my little girl I’m suffering with really bad piles and have hip and coccyx pain.

I’ve been to the doctors about the piles and despite being referred to the hospital they aren’t doing anything but advised I have a dropped pelvic.

I know I should get the coccyx and hip pain looked into but my daughter is almost 2 now so can’t see them doing much again.

Anyway, all of this is really making me not want to put my body through another pregnancy and labour, as I don’t want to be left in more pain afterwards.

Has anyone else been through something similar or worse and gone one to have more children?

OP posts:
Flatwhite32 · 28/09/2019 21:20

@Dumptyhumpty101 I had a very painful coccyx after delivering my DD (now 14 months). I got physio combine with acupuncture when she was 9 months old, and it made such a difference. It flared again recently when I hurt my back, but once the neck injury healed so did the coccyx pain. I just wish I hadn't waited til 9 months to get the physio and acupuncture. I do want another child in the next couple of years, and I'll be asking about how I can try and prevent the coccyx injury happening again, as I could barely walk after having her, and getting off the sofa was agony.

Flatwhite32 · 28/09/2019 21:20

Back injury, not neck!

Original poster
Dumptyhumpty101 · 28/09/2019 21:34

@Flatwhite32 see my pain isn’t that bad, it’s just when I’ve been sitting for a while and I go to stand up. It clears after a few seconds.

I’m not sure if I’m just being a wimp.

OP posts:
Flatwhite32 · 28/09/2019 21:47

@Dumptyhumpty101 mine was like that at 9 months to be fair, so I wasn't in agony by then, but I could definitely still feel it after sitting down, driving etc. I'd go to your GP and ask to be referred to physio. I wished I had done it sooner!

happytoday73 · 28/09/2019 21:52

Post natal hypertension...(dangerously high blood pressure) 10 days after birth... Lasted 6 months... Had again after second.. Now seems to be forever...

But me off having 3rd

Greywalls12 · 28/09/2019 21:54

I had awful SPD during my pregnancy, i was on crutches only able to walk short distances by the end of it. Thankfully it went almost immediately after giving birth.
Although not a post birth ailment, it has made me really not want to put my body through that again.

Sex is also quite painful now, everything feels super tight and sore, despite giving birth 6 months ago. It feels like there's maybe scar tissue that's being rubbed during sex? And i definitely wouldn't want that getting worse by having another birth!

TheGoogleMum · 28/09/2019 22:42

No big complications, I had a 2nd degree tear that I was told healed beautifully, although it has been uncomfortable during sex since(DD is 10 months old now). My biggest problem has been the insomnia. It's finally better than it was but I did have an awful night of no sleep recently. I am reluctant to do anything to mess up my sleep again so maybe my DD can be an only child

SilverChime · 28/09/2019 22:46

I won’t be having any more. I’m not particularly bothered about small things like piles, but I am bothered about the state of my stomach. It looks bad enough already, I don’t want to make it worse. Plus I haven’t slept a full night in two years and I can’t cope with starting from scratch.

Original poster
Dumptyhumpty101 · 29/09/2019 06:01

@SilverChime you’ve obviously not had piles to the same extent I have!

OP posts:
Hederex · 29/09/2019 06:05

I had ICP which means I can't ever use most hormonal birth control and got gallstones so have had my gallbladder out.
Also hyperemesis and really severe PND.
My c section wound didn't fully close for five months and I was anaemic for a year.
I know compared to what some go through it's nothing but I did feel crap for a long time.
Still went on to do it again, I had hyperemesis and ICP again but no other issues and bounced back immediately after the birth.

Venger · 29/09/2019 07:40

Hyperemesis x4
Eroded wisdom tooth from the vomiting
Emetophobia from the vomiting
Sepsis
PPH
PTSD and anxiety
Sciatica
Second degree tear
Piles
Caesarean x3
Cracked nipple so bad that I have a scar on one of them

I'm never having any more children and it is a very liberating feeling!

SignedUpJust4This · 29/09/2019 08:04

How old. Is your daughter OP? It took l me about 3yrs to fully recover

lpchill · 29/09/2019 09:20

I got PND after having my little one as it ended as an emergency c section that they put me under for so I woke up in a different part of the hospital with no DD or DH. Also my husband within a few weeks had to go to hospital to have his gallbladder removed. He is phobic of needles so luckily my mum was with us so I didn't take DD to the hospital to sort out DH but it broke me having to leave one to look after the other. About 1 year later I was getting horrific pains that the doctors thought where kidney stones/hernia 6 months later we found I had nerve damage from the c section. I've had three teeth removed as they have gone to pot. Little one is 3 and half now we are firmly one and done. For all of the above and colic plus croup and DH not coping with DD crying (past trauma that we only discovered affected him once DD was born)

Camomila · 29/09/2019 09:24

3rd degree tear with the first...healed fine
hyperemisis with this one (am 23 weeks now)...not sure I'll have no 3.

isshoes · 29/09/2019 16:12

My C section scar didn't heal for months.
I had repeat infections due in part I think to an autoimmune liver condition I have.
Skin came out in a hideous rash seven months after giving birth which I think may have been to do with postnatal flare-up of said autoimmune condition.
Urinary incontinence (thankfully temporary).

I haven't decided for sure whether I would like another one, though if I did I think it would be more because I think we 'should' rather than me really wanting a second child (of course I know I would love the child if we did have one). DH thinks we shouldn't. I do think that it could be very unfair on DS if having another had a detrimental effect on my health...

Original poster
Dumptyhumpty101 · 29/09/2019 18:06

@isshoes your thoughts about having number 2 are exactly the same as me. I don’t want another one because of the pain I get but I feel I should have another one for dd as I hate the thought of her being alone when me and DH aren’t here anymore (not too soon hopefully).

@SignedUpJust4This DD will be 2 in a couple of months, so maybe things will get better in the next year. Hopefully!!

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 29/09/2019 18:13

MRSA in my gallbladder incision I had just prior to my emergency c section, a blood clot, kidney infection, pancreatitis,sepsis. Took three months to care for myself. Fought MRSA chronically for nine years. No other children

AngryFeminist · 29/09/2019 18:21

Postpartum psychosis. I'm still grieving a little for the second child we'll not have but I know it's the best decision - I was told it was a 50% recurrence risk and many women don't recover. I couldn't put my family through that, which I realise even more every time I have a mental health crisis.

Ad mothers we need to put our health first - if we fall apart, so does the unit - putting ourselves last/swallowing the 'put up amd shut up' line for societally dictated ideals helps no one.

pollysproggle · 29/09/2019 18:31

Hi OP,
With my first 10 stitches, felt like my insides were falling out for about 6 months and sex didn't feel normal for over a year.
All fine now.
With my second I had SPD which requires a bit of physio and wearing a special belt and from the birth my coccyx turned sideways! (Found this out later after an X-ray).
Didn't have any repeat tearing or problems I had with my first but the pain was awful in my coccyx then gradually got better over a few years. DC2 is nearly 3 and a half now and it doesn't bother me anymore but there's still something there. I think the problem with my second was caused because I had a very big baby, over 12lbs and I had a very fat and lazy pregnancy. Piled on the weight and wasn't very fit during and after.
I did seek help regarding my coccyx hence the X-ray and was told it's a particularly bloody operation with a long recovery time and no guarantees!

isshoes · 29/09/2019 18:33

@Dumptyhumpty101 indeed - for me the two reasons I think we should have another are that I don't want DS to be alone in the future, and secondly, as morbid and depressing as this sounds, I fear that if we were to lose DS for some reason, I wouldn't be able to go on without another DC to care for. But I don't think either of those are sound enough reasons for having a child - particularly the second one, which is based on irrational and disproportionate fears and an unhealthy line of thinking.

I think I need to address my fears about something happening to DS - although I know it's natural for parents to worry about their children, I think my worries have the tendency to get overwhelming at times. This probably stems from him being poorly when he was born and being rushed away to be intubated. Whilst I've had some helpful therapy to deal with the trauma of that particular few hours, I think there has been a lasting effect on my general level of concern for his health and well-being (he is completely fine by the way).

ChrisPrattsFace · 29/09/2019 18:34

I’m the other way round -
Libya’s severe hyperemesis and some tearing in labour which healed very quick and pain free, otherwise I have had no problems. (That have reared their head yet anyways!)
And that has put me off having a second - cos surely it can only be worse? I can’t be so lucky twice?

ChrisPrattsFace · 29/09/2019 18:34

Libya? I had**
(Don’t even know where auto correct was going with that one!!)

Crotchgoblins · 29/09/2019 18:40

I feel I got away lightly. Tears at birth but they healed fine. I've had multiple cases of mastitis and a breast abcess which was hideous. Weakened pelvic floor and 2 stone heavier than I should be. I've also has two terrible sleepers and had probably 10 full nights sleep in 5 years. That has aged me greatly. The abcess and sleep have stopped any desire for number 3. When I hear of people being pregnant now my first thought is 'thank God it's not me!'

HavelockVetinari · 29/09/2019 18:42

Hyperemesis. Currently 6+2 pg with DC2, have had my head down the loo since 4+1. Totally worth it though!

Terrible lower back pain that I stupidly put up post-DC1 - I'm now seeing a physio and personal trainer who are working together, it's already loads better. Expensive, but nowhere near as expensive as another child so I feel justified spending the money so I can be pain-free.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/09/2019 18:48

I had severe SPD when I was pregnant with DS2 who will be 23 on Christmas Eve. I was bedridden for the majority of my pregnancy. I've since had 8 surgeries on my back and pelvis, and am on the waiting list for another. I can't walk unaided and am in severe pain. We made the decision that he would be the last before he was born.