To hate surprises?

[autumnleaves99]

I hate surprises, I like to know what's happening, I think I probably have an autistic trait but it's never been diagnosed. My DH knows that I hate surprises. I've been feeling pretty low lately and my DH has recognised this.

So he thought it would be a great idea to organise a babysitter tonight as a surprise and when she arrived, tell me that we're going out for dinner.

When I realised what was happening I told him i was really upset and couldn't go out for dinner. Now we're sat at home, babysitter has left and I'm not in the mood to talk to DH. I know he was doing his best but I can't understand the fact that he doesn't realise I hate surprises after all this time! Anyone else understand me??

I hate surprises too OP.

I made that very clear to DP very early on. I also have some AS traits and really struggle with getting my head around last minute changes if I've got the "vibe" of the evening in my head. If I thought I was having a chilled night in I'd get in a tizzy about having to change my frame of mind into going out more at short notice.

Oh you hate surprises, but he had bothered to get a baby sitter, you could have just gone out for a walk and a drink. I get where your coming from but I think he feels why bother.

I do feel really bad because he was trying to do something nice, but I really can't help it, I absolutely hate surprises and it unsettles me. I feel quite rubbish about the whole thing.

I am autistic, if DH organised a surprise like that I'd be very upset if I'm honest. I really struggle with getting dressed, it takes me several outfits to feel "right" a lot of the time and its not about how I look either. I am physically disabled and pretty much exclusively wear stretchy clothes that are easy to put on but due to sensory issues and my other health problems (eg. Bloating from IBS) and my general disposition at the time an outfit that would feel okay one day might be totally "wrong" the next. Add into that a difficulty with processing change and I'd have a full on autistic meltdown if I was told randomly that I was to have to get dressed so I could eat food i didnt choose to make myself in front of strangers when I hadn't planned to at all. YANBU!