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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weight

16 replies

TripleASays · 28/09/2019 20:08

I'm feeling pretty down at the moment.

I've always been a slim size 8-10 but have recently piled on the weight. Earlier this year I suffered a miscarriage at 19 weeks and have not managed to regain my shape.

What's hurting is that people I've known for some time are taking delight in telling me how fat I am. Today alone two people have commented on my weight. One went so far as shouting "OMG HOW DID YOU GET SO FAT?!"

I know I need to grow up and just ignore them, but it's so hard. I genuinely feel like crying. I'm dieting and working out and know that in time I'll be back in shape. I'm just hurt by the comments I keep receiving about my size.

Has anyone else been through similar? Can you recommend any one liners I can use to make myself feel better.

Major first world problems, I know. Please be kind.

OP posts:
Teacakeandalatte · 28/09/2019 20:15

Ignore those judgemental people and focus on your health, mental and physical, remember it's not how you look that makes you a good person.

Elieza · 28/09/2019 20:21

Sorry for your loss OP. I’ve been there and eaten all the pies too.

I’d guilt trip them and make them feel guilty by telling them the truth, but that may not be what you’re after? - :

“Yeah your right, I’m fat. Having that miscarriage broke my heart and I comfort ate because I was totally and utterly devastated by the loss of my baby. Anything else you’d like to say?”

by which point the should be sufficiently guilt tripped they should be apologising. (Don’t scowl, growl or say it nastily though, just say it flat/sad so they can’t accuse you of being horrible to them, or the trippery won’t work as well.

There will then be an awkward silence while they process what they’ve done, slagged off a grieving woman.

TripleASays · 28/09/2019 20:21

Thank you @teacakeandlatte you're absolutely right!

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TripleASays · 28/09/2019 20:23

@elieza that might be a good strategy for tonight! It's a massive family party and I'm already worrying

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Beth3886 · 28/09/2019 21:21

Why should you have friends that say that?
Why and you.. Question it
Your question should be how they aren't supporting you as they are not complementing you or even hinting "shall we go a nice walk?" to help you lose weight if they think you're fat.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sometimes you have to do what's right for you, your family and your body.. And if you let this slide into your 'first world problems'; it will become your problem.
Lots of love 💖💕💞

Beth3886 · 28/09/2019 21:24

P. S I'd cry too.. Its OK to have a good cry and especially after someone saying that 🤗

Elieza · 28/09/2019 21:25

I hope you’re enjoying the party and that people are being nice to you, as they should be if they love you Flowers

Girasole02 · 28/09/2019 21:26

Those idiots are not your friends.

orchid1234 · 28/09/2019 21:27

People can be so vile! Tell them you can lose weight but they'll forever be bitter

Jollitwiglet · 28/09/2019 21:27

Who are these people that make these comments?

I would be replying 'i may be fat but at least I'm not an asshole' but of course it's easier said than done

ZazuMoon · 28/09/2019 21:31

"I can lose the weight but you'll always be a dickhead."

Or some variation. I've had a similar weight gain after a miscarriage and subsequent pregnancy and have had comments on how much more of me there is and how different I look. Just keep going with your healthy eating and exercise and look after yourself.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 28/09/2019 21:32

Oh my love, what horrible horrible people. I'm so sorry you lost your baby, that's awful. Flowers

Bigfatspiders · 28/09/2019 21:33

**“Yeah your right, I’m fat. Having that miscarriage broke my heart and I comfort ate because I was totally and utterly devastated by the loss of my baby. Anything else you’d like to say?”

This. Definitely.
You poor thing. Flowers

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/09/2019 21:38

I had DS and got back down to a size 10 & happy with weight. Three miscarriages later I had put on a bit, then a stressful complicated pregnancy with DD had added more. I'm now bf and I think I've put on weight :(

I must have maybe 1.5 to 2 st to lose.

Luckily I haven't had many comments but my one liner is

"Yes I've been eating my feelings. It helped me grieve, thanks for asking."

shitpark · 28/09/2019 22:16

The best revenge would be to get back to your healthy weight, and fitness level. I had this after each of my children. I now get it for being a size 8 in my 50's. Some people are awful, judgemental and bitter. Rise above it. Be happy in yourself. Avoid people who make these comments to you and be thankful that you have seen their true colours before they could really hurt you.

TripleASays · 29/09/2019 09:40

Thanks for your comments, guys. Last night went well. Only one comment about my weight but I just ignored it.

People can be very very cruel, but I'll rise above it

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