tp feel I can't support my DH depression?

[Yolo89]

I am just feeling so low today as my DH is fepressed and it gets me down so much as he takes it out of me. He is seeing someone but it is not enough. I find his moods so hard to predict and last night he told me he'd had a bad day at work which I tjought meant he was frustrated and tired, bit not depressed by it, but he was depressed and now blames me as I didn't pick up that this was how he felt ans therefore I didn't act accordingly. He is very bad at talking so won't go into much detail - you are supposed to read between the lines.

I just can't cope anymore. I can't support someone that gets angry if I try and talk, angry if I try and help and lashes out at me as he bottles his feelings up. I can't function as a family like this.

He also never acknoweldges the impact his behaviour has pn the family. It is draining.

What do I do?

You sit down and tell him that in a come to Jesus talk and you go from there. I would though get info and valuable things together such as finances, passports,etcetera ahead of time. He's being abusive to you verbally and emotionally. Depression is very,very bad to experience and also for the people supporting and surrounding the person with it. It consumes you in every aspect as the patient, however, it doesn't mean the fallout/consequences of behaving as he has to you shouldn't be felt. Your mental health is just as important

Depression does not require that your nearest and dearest become martyrs. Its challenging to support someone with depression, yes, but it is not a get-out-of-jail card for him to become abusive to you and fail to take any ownership of the problem, which is what he is doing.

He is clearly struggling but he has a responsibility not to make you an emotional (or physical) punch bag.

If he cannot understand this you have to protect yourself by leaving the relationship.

Sorry Op, sounds like a tough situation.

How long has your DH been depressed?

Is it possible there’s more going on and worrying him?

It sounds like you feel about helpless. All you can really do is try to manage your own emotions well. Have empathy for your DH. Let him know you are there for him and when he wants or needs to talk you will make yourself available to him but you can’t read his mind even though I’m sure you love him.

Hang in there. Have you got a good support network?

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. DH depression is related to a health issue but the depression has intensified this year and now to an unmanageable point
.He can't see how much it is hurtung me as ge is so caught up in his own pain. He has lued to me about alcohol and come home late after drinking.

IMy defences are really low due to my own circumstances. I have no buffer zone to take this on. I can't support someone that blames me for everything.

I am trying to help him.get help and have a good support network, though it has taken me a long time to convince his parents the problem is serious. This has been very frustrating as I have felt alone.

I want to make our family better. I just dont know how.