Right man, wrong time.

[mosaicmug]

What happened? Did it ever work out?

I would think long and hard about telling him.

If he is a dear friend AND in a relationship, this could end your friendship.

If you are the painter I suspect you are, I would suggesting moving on. He has moved on.

Maybe if you are both single it would be different.

I agree @tilltheendoftheline.it would cause terrible upset for him.I want to keep my dear friend.

Standing it on its head "right woman - wrong time", no it didn't. Still regret that.

I don't believe in right man wrong time. If it was the right man, you would be with them.

Yes. First time around we were too young and wanted different things. Nearly 18 years later, we reunited and it's perfect.

Aaah, your later posts indicate he may have moved on.

I wouldn't rush yourself into anything else. Take some time for yourself but don't write him off just yet.

How long since you told him about split from your DH?

Some lovely stories.Great to hear some good news.I told him two weeks past.He is in strange mood since.I am quiet and sad of late,so I could be overthinking.

My boyfriend and I were together from Dec 2017-April 2018 and it didn’t work out because we both weren’t in the right headspace (I was really quite depressed at the time, and couldn’t really support a relationship, and he was considering travelling to China - I couldn’t follow him due to uni commitments plus my depression). So we split up.

Dec 2018 he popped me a message (weirdly I was thinking of messaging him to send him an xmas card) and we’ve been together since. I know we haven’t been together long, so I can’t say that it’s definitely the ‘right man at the right time situ’ but the relationship is so much better now than it was before. We are both so much more happier and committed to one another. I really see it going long term. It’s certainly the best relationship I’ve ever been in.

We always talked about our wish to do things together but we couldn’t as I was married and My husband hated me being friends with him..Innocent activities like dinner, concerts and so on.now for the first time in twenty years I will have free time ,eow etc and he cannot do any of those activities as he is in a relationship.

Yes, dated for a few months and had a great time but he was all of eighteen and needed to be wild for a few more years. I travelled and we got back together three years later.

Yep did for us. We (well he) were not ready to commit and settle, so did an on and off fwb thing for years, he hurt me so badly as I wanted more. We parted, I started living properly, good job, bought my own place etc. He came looking for me (again), but did it properly this time. Been together for 15 years now with 2 kids

No. I don't believe in any of this stuff; if two people are prepared to make it work and put in the time, energy and care, it'll happen. If one or the other says "right person, wrong time" what (I think) they're essentially saying is "can't be arsed, not for me".

And it's fine to look back and think "ahh, remember him" but your idea of that one who got away will always be an idealistic version of them rather than a true version of them so it's a bit of a waste of your precious time.

If it's meant to be, it will be. My DP and I got together after both going through difficult break ups. We were each others shoulder to cry on and people thought that we were just both on the rebound. In hindsight, it was probably always there between us, but it wasn't the time to admit anything and when we happened to both be single (helped out dramatically by 1 too many vodka's lol) everything just clicked into place.

We're now engaged and expecting a baby.

I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. That said, maybe in your circumstance, it just wasn't meant to be. You can only be open and honest about your feelings and then wait and see.

I would take a step back if I were you, if his relationship isn’t right for him then it will end and perhaps then you will both be in a position to move forward together.

For now, take a step back, enjoy your own life, keep the friendship light and focused on mutual interests or common ground rather than feelings and emotions. If he does have feelings for you perhaps it’s all a bit much to suddenly be faced with this whilst he’s in a relationship, especially if he’s had to suppress them in the past bc you were married.

Honestly just try to enjoy your own life now, if someone wants to be with you they will, but it doesn’t always happen the second you make yourself available - life is far more complex than that

Sounds like he's processing his feelings given your news. I would wait and see if anything happens, but don't put your life on hold indefinitely for him.

It was the wrong time for both of us when we met (break ups, distance, MH stuff) but we kept in touch. A year later we decided it was now or never, went on a date and it worked out. We’ve been together for seven years, married three.

Ugh. Yep. Totally wrong time. It still hurts a little bit, but every memory I have of us together makes me happy because it was my first time really being in love vom. Cliche.. but if its meant to be, it will be.

Sadly no. I do still think fondly of him though

I don't know if things will work out for us... we're both unhappy at home and only really happy when we're together. When we first met it felt like we'd known each other for years, we're like two pea's in a pod. Sounds too cheesy but that's how it is

No and i still imagine being with him and knowing me it's never going to happen 😭😭

Like Oblomov I don't believe there is a wrong time - either a relationship works or it doesn't. If it needs a special time, place or set of circumstances then it's not going to last IRL, is it?

Yes it worked for me, despite it being the wrong time (spectacularly). It worked precisely because he was the right man. Any other man would’ve disappeared at the first sniff of the complex issues that I/we had to face on getting together. But his persistence, loyalty and love got us both through it in one piece and stronger than we could’ve been had it not been the wrong time. The ‘wrongness’ of the timing therefore proved a blessing as it highlighted to me what a keeper he was. 1 year on and we’re happily besotted.

I would have married mine then and there, he was immature and cheated. I still have some regret but in the intervening 15 years I put him (mostly) behind me, I'm now getting married and have had nothing but ' I wish we'd gotten married, we would have the perfect family' from him since he found out - but in truth I would never be able to trust him as he broke me. I can't work out if he has genuine regret or is just an arsehole!!