For being fucked off with DP?

[OhCharlieYouPrick]

He works evenings so Mon to Friday most days he isn't here with the kids. I have 5 and it's bloody loud and hectic and I'm struggling lately with my mental health and some other issues (lapse in an Ed).

His mum runs a business and got a job with a mutual friend.

DH won't get up this morning till 10.30 am.
And when he does he announces he's going to help his mum today

I'm annoyed because

A. I'm always dealing with the kids alone. It's raining, I have no money. I was going to do a food shop today and now can't (don't drive and can't get 6 of us in a taxi) The kids are bored and fighting.

B. He didn't even tell me he was going till 10 mins before he left.

C. It's his mums business. It's not his responsibility. If she can't do the job why is she taking it on?

AIBU to be fucking fed with this.

mum men are not naturally selfish.

Op yanbu....it's sounds stressful and pretty shit. He needs to step up and be parent.

Can you text him the shopping list and get him to collect it on the way home?

I agree, not ok to leave you with 5 kids all the time.

I think life is going to be hectic with five kids no matter what.

Your youngest is 8? Are things really that hectic and difficult? Granted you have a lot of children but 8 and older isn’t that taxing! It’s nicer when you’re both there but he’s helping his mum not down the pub.

If your youngest is 8 surely you can leave the older ones at home and go shopping?

But no YANBU I'd be fucked off if my OH had a lie in then disappeared for the day with no notice.

From 8 I only heard from my dc when I asked ‘how was school?’ and they replied ‘fine, I’m doing my homework, having a shower then going on the XBox/PC/over x’s house/to football’. Now at 14+ I only see them on their way to and from the kitchen.
So how old are your oldest dc, if the youngest is 8? Are they spread out age wise or very close together?

Why didn't you say something before he left? Or am I missing something?

He should be mucking in to help with his children @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat as unfortunately children come before parents for most.

(Why did I put unfortunately in there?)

What ages are the older children?

I wouldn’t accept this shit. Fucking stand up for yourself. Go out tomorrow on your own and leave him to wrangle 5 kids. Do it for your own mental health, please. X

Tell his mum on him...

Were you expecting him to help today? Did you actually tell him?

This kind of misogynistic nonsense really drives me up the wall. Why wouldn't OP expect him to "help" with his children any day he's not working? I'd hate to be with a man who had to have it spelled out for him that he's expected to do some parenting on the weekends. I wonder if anyone "actually tells" OP in advance every time she's expected to parent her own children.

She's been dealing with 5 kids on her own all week, she just wants some support from their DF when he's not working that's hardly asking for the moon on a stick. He's using his Mum as an excuse to opt out of childcare which is selfish and irresponsible.

Yes @Booboosweet but by 50% of the team only bring there the workload doubles.

What work load though? I’m not trying to be difficult but what actually is there to do?

What's his Mum's business?
Could you send round all 5 kids to "help" too?
It's very telling that you have no money to entertain your 5 kids but he has enough money for drink.

Not bring funny @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat but do you have children?

Yes I do, why?

How old are the older kids? Tomorrow I would get ready tell him your off out and he can watch the kids. Go see home family or friends, treat yourself to lunch out. See how he likes it.