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AIBU?

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Original poster

Someone tell me this means nothing

36 replies

EveryRainbow · 27/09/2019 22:37

I’m being ridiculous and over thinking an emoji Hmm

Ex bf and I have mutual friends, I didn’t want either of us to have to lose any of these friends. We’ve been split up for a few months now so I sent him a text saying if he felt ok about it could we try being friends again ( we were friends for a while before we started dating).

He replied with I’d really like that 😊 so I’m overthinking that he didn’t use a normal smiley face or a grin. I’ve always taken that one to mean more than just being happy? And if it’s not already completely obvious I’d love nothing more than to be with him again so knock some sense into me before I do something stupid please

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 27/09/2019 22:38

He used in instead of a kiss to try to avoid you doing what you’ve just done and over think it.

Lorddenning1 · 27/09/2019 22:40

It depends on why you both split up I think, whether u should be friends or not

Illneverbepromqueen · 27/09/2019 22:43

That is a normal smiley face?

VaggieMight · 27/09/2019 22:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

Sparklesocks · 27/09/2019 22:44

I think you’re reading too much into it, a lot of people use that emoji just as a ‘that’s nice’ type face.

Ohyesiam · 27/09/2019 22:45

You are very invested! But as you say, you want him back.

I think its usually asking for trouble if you try to settle for friendship when you want more.
And the mutual friends.

  1. Why does the ex have to come as as package with them? Can’t you see them without him,
2.Or are you using them as an excuse to get more contact with him?

you could have a conversation and ask him if he’s done or not?

Hope it works out well.

IncrediblySadToo · 27/09/2019 22:45

Does he have an iPhone?

If so, I’d say you’re over thinking it as it comes up as the first smiley face that’s not grinning like a loon.

Are you sure ‘being friends’ is a good idea if you'd still like to be together?

boredboredboredboredbored · 27/09/2019 22:46

It's just a friendly gesture I personally would've read anything else into that tbh.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 27/09/2019 22:49

It really doesn't mean anything.

But the fact that you're so keen to get back together that you've convinced yourself a smiley emoji might mean he feels the same...I'm sorry, OP but that makes me worried for you that this whole "being friends" thing will just result in more heartbreak for you.

gamerchick · 27/09/2019 22:51

If you still want to be with him then you're not ready to be friends yet.

Choice4567 · 27/09/2019 22:52

What else could it mean? That’s just the normal smiley face

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 27/09/2019 22:53

Oh god, please don't do anything stupid!

I'm assuming he broke up with you. And I'm also assuming he has a fair idea you'd like to get back together with him. You really, really don't have to make any declarations, or worry that maybe he secretly has second thoughts but thinks you don't want that and maybe you should just let him know, etc or anything mad like that.

He put a smiley on the end of the sentence because he is relieved you aren't angry /crying / hate him. He put it there instead of a kiss, to not give you false hope.

Are you sure you're ready to be friends? It sounds more like that would be very tough for you, and you will just break your heart over a hundred agonising evenings where you pretend your fine but actually you're heartbroken. Maybe give yourself a bit longer to mend, op?

HeddaGarbled · 27/09/2019 22:53

Oh lovey, this being friends thing is going to be torture for you right now if you’re going to react like this to every interaction. You need time and space to get over the break up before you can be friends.

Sparadrap · 27/09/2019 22:57

I’m being ridiculous and over thinking an emoji

Yes you really are. You are not ready to be just friends. Give it more time before you start meeting up again.

LaMarschallin · 27/09/2019 23:00

I'm rubbish at emojis but my daughters (25 & 27) always use 😊 rather than Smile.
In fact, I've had to use the MN version to give the 2nd example because I don't have a non rosy-cheeked one on my (primitive) phone.
Honestly, I've been in your position and would have read all sorts into text messages, so desperate was I to believe something could be re-kindled.
I'm so sorry - it's a horrible feeling.

northernruth · 27/09/2019 23:11

It means nothing. Be kind to yourself and don't be friends with him, it will end in tears.

ToastAndBlackcurrantJam · 27/09/2019 23:12

That's a normal smiley. You want to be with him, so you're reading into it.

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/09/2019 23:15

Yep sorry OP that's a standard smiley.

user1471449295 · 27/09/2019 23:17

Reading far, far into it OP. It’s a smiley face. That is all

HennyPennyHorror · 27/09/2019 23:27

I use that smiley...even though I hate it....when I'm talking to people I don't know well by text...not professionals but say a Mum from school or something who's offered to collect my DD from a party or the like.

Isn't it a normal smiley? Have I been giving people a weird message??

Derbee · 27/09/2019 23:27

I use that smiley if I don’t want to look like I’m laughing. I think you might be over thinking.

tangled2 · 27/09/2019 23:32

Do you think this 🙂 is the 'normal' one? I always think this one is a bit more of a thin lipped, half arsed smile, so would tend to use 😊 or ☺️

But I agree you are probably reading what you want to believe into the conversation, which is understandable if you want to still be with him. It's hard to not do that, but I'm not sure that the choice of emoji on its own does actually mean what you want it to. Don't pull at that scab, it will drive you potty.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/09/2019 23:34

You can't be friends yet because you're still gagging to get back with him. If he wanted to get back with you, he would ask you.

Look, it's awful being dumped, and very, very tempting to try to cling on to 'being friends' with the person who dumped you, but it's not worth doing so until enough time has passed for you not to be whining and pining. I used to take the approach that it wasn't worth trying to be friends until you've both had sex with at least one other person (asexuals are of course excused that option). Because, yes, sometimes someone you once dated/shagged and broke up with can turn out to be a nice friend, some time down the line - I have a few male friends who I dated years ago and now just regard as... part of my wider friendship group, pleasant company in a crowd, people I wish well and think of fondly, but no more than that.

NuffingChora · 27/09/2019 23:37

Exactly what @MinisterforCheekyFuckery said... Tread carefully OP.

Mooncupblues · 27/09/2019 23:38

Oh God OP.

I think what you really meant to post was

‘I’m absolutely desperate to get back with my ex because he is just the best thing ever, so I pretended I’m over him and asked if we could be friends ‘because of our mutual friends’ and he’s sent me this message which I have massively read into and do you think this means he now wants to get back with me?’

You poor thing. I’ve been there and it is AWFUL! Don’t do anything daft.