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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Give me a shake please!

4 replies

Shouldlaugh · 27/09/2019 22:19

Backstory: 15 years ago, 21 and single, i worked in an office where everyone was friendly. We socialised together, drove each others cars and are, mostly, still friendly now.
I had a fwb thing with one of the group for about 6 months. No 'feelings', just fun. It ended when he moved away, no problem, we texted occasionally etc.
Fast forward to 2 years ago when he finally gave in to social media and added me. Saw he was married, great. Looks happy. Text him and said 'you kept that quiet, well done!' No big deal.
Today I noticed him tagged in a post. Wedding photo (which I'd seen) which his wife had captioned '15 years, still love you the same. Thank you!'
I text him to ask how long he'd been married, no response. I've asked our colleagues/friends and no one knew he was married.
My aibu is: I feel like a stupid little girl. How did I not know? I never had any feelings for him or anything so why do I feel so sick?
BTW, I've blocked him and have no intention of confronting or anything but I can't stop thinking about it!

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 28/09/2019 00:37

Ew. I don't blame you for feeling horrid but it was a long time ago and you were the innocent party. Also at 21 and having fun, you would not be aware of the "signs" of a married man.

You need to forget about it. Is everything else in your life going ok at the moment? I find that when life is tricky I sometimes focus on things which don't really matter or which don't really affect me..it's a way of distracting myself from the shit that really counts.

CJ83 · 28/09/2019 00:49

I agree with HPH. There's no way you could have known, especially if your friends didn't know and he didn't want you to find out. You've done nothing wrong so don't feel bad about it. Great work on locking him as he's not someone worth knowing!

Try and do something fun this weekend to take your mind off it :)

partysong · 28/09/2019 01:11

Maybe they've been together 15 years but not married that long? So literally they met as he moved?

Shouldlaugh · 28/09/2019 01:19

@HennyPennyHorror I'm happy with DP and 4 kids
@partysong no, I clicked the link and it was definitely 15 years married.

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