AIBU

[KannaS]

Ok...broke up with my bf 3 days ago. The reason is this: (get a cuppa tea)
He works as a life insurance agent. We live around 1 hour away but he goes to office (35 mins away from my work/home) once a week and sees clients throughout the week at various locations. We see each other once a week. When I raised with him the issue that we don't see each other a lot, he provided excuses such as, when I'm free you're at work and when you're free my clients are off work too and so we are able to meet up, hence why we can rarely have dinner. Ok, then I told him that whenever he has the time, he can contact me because eventhough I am busy too throughout the week, I can always make time to have dinner.
The other day on the bus, this issue was brought up again but in a teasing way. He says I've not tried to make plans with him, in which I replied it's because before, he told me he is always busy with clients so I gave up trying. Then just for the sake of argument, I asked if he was free the following week for dinner. He immediately responded that he can't do Mon or Wed, so I asked how about Thurs? He said he might have to exchange something he's selling with a customer, and I replied well it won't take long, he agreed and it was set, we'd see if we could have dinner on Thurs.
Next day, he sends me a message (he hadn't spoken to me all day.) A list of names and a date on top. He calls immediately and asks if I wanna go rock climbing on Thursday. I told him I have tutoring after work (I'm a kindergarten teacher) rock climbing was 7-10.30pm, I said I would be dead tired, the next day I have to get up early again for work. This made me really angry because when I suggested dinner, he would throw loads of excuses at me, but when he's asked to go for activities with other people, he's straight on it.
Just a back story as to why the next part made me more suspicious and angry, we went on a boat trip with a large group. One girl I made friends with told me my bf had added her best friend. Thought nothing of it.
Jump back into the main part, on the list of people going, coincidentally is the girl he added from the boat trip. Therefore why I suspect maybe he is trying to meet other girls behind my back.
After dunping him, I stalked his IG just to see how many of the girls he added from the boat trip and I found he follows loads of random girls on IG and aldo likes their photos (hence why I have that other thread).
So, was I being unreasonable?

Hello KannaS
You refer to this person as your BF. However, you see him once a week (if you're lucky) and even then you don't get to actually spend time together. It's difficult to hold a meaningful conversation when you're concentrating on not falling off a wall. But, of course that's why he suggested it. He wants to avoid an actual relationship where people talk, make plans, share dreams etc
You know the answer to your question.
He's taken advantage of your lack of self-confidence & self-esteem to abuse your trust.
I'm wondering if this is not the first time that you've found yourself in an abusive relationship?
None of my business though. The important thing is that you have escaped - WELL DONE YOU! for getting rid of him.

You've been brave enough to confirm to him & to yourself that you deserve respect.
You deserve to have someone who is willing to put themselves out for you & to love & support you.
It's going to be tough for while, but you can't 'follow' him in anyway as it could be taken as stalking.
Perhaps it would be best if you delete his phone number/s, FB & everything so that you can't be tempted to follow/stalk him.
Also he won't be able to contact you.
I suspect that you would rather like him to contact you, to apologise & make everything ok.
But you've heard that before haven't you? What's different about this time?
You can find the phone number for Samaritans on this site. You don't have to be suicidal, they are fabulous non-judgemental listeners. You could call them when the temptation to 'check in' with your ex becomes too much.
PS He's married/partnered & probably has a couple of kids my lovely.

Not being unreasonable. You deserve better and I'm glad that you know it. No guy should ever make you feel less important than you are. Be free and find happiness with someone that treats you as their #1 priority and loves spending time with you, no matter how far you live.

Find someone who deserves you

Thank you so much everyone for your words of support!
When I went to break up with him, I actually told him I feel like a back up plan and part-time girlfriend. I keep chasing him for affection and for his time and that's not the role I want to play. I don't want him to call or contact, I deleted and blocked him off all social media once I got home. You guys are right, I finally realised I am worth more. I feel so much better to know I wasn't being unreasonable. 😘

Hello again KannaS [kiss]
Take care of yourself [big grin]