To never want to host or attend toddler play dates at home...

[itsasmallwordafterall]

And always meet elsewhere? Park, woods or soft play etc. I don't want to go to others houses and always try and gently suggest an alternative for the reason that I think it's rude not to reciprocate the play date in my home, so I won't go to theirs either. Most people are fine with it and equally enjoy getting out and letting the dc burn some energy but I notice that some people find it a little offensive.

I don't know why I find it so draining, it sounds ridiculous because I'm not precious about looking after things...my 2 year old and 1 year old trash the place on a daily basis but it's just so much extra work with another few toddlers added in! The last time my friend just allowed her dc to stamp their cheesy puffs all over the floor and sofa then watched me try and hoover the orange crap off everything.

I feel like it's so much nicer getting out the house, meeting elsewhere and coming back to a calm and tidyish environment to carry on our day. Not having to do a full tidy up so that I don't break my neck on the mountains of shite everywhere.

I appreciate when the dc are older their friends will be round all the time and I will happily host them regularly, but I think it's just the stressful multiple toddlers trying to eat and smash everything on top of sleepless nights and going to work at 5pm until midnight most evenings afterwards that just feels too stressful right now!

Aibu? Please be gentle

I much prefer going out too, preferably the park or woods. Don’t mind being at home if the weather is good - usually go in the garden, blow the paddling pool up and stick them all in there!

I don’t really like being indoors at the best of times, and find it a bit grating after a while if there are a few toddlers / preschoolers on the rampage.

It is easier to do playdates at home if you have more than one child though. Said child can play with their friend and the other kids can do their own thing or join in. We are not the play date stage yet and I definitely would prefer to suggest something similar to you as I do not want to tidy up after anymore kids. I don't think yabu

The real problem is the friend that won't clean up after her kid. I had a friend who did this and her two used to destroy my home. With her, we always met out and about. Not a problem with other friends.

House dates are much easier and relaxing with more than one child and a lot less expensive. If I were your friend I would probably end up seeing a lot less of you than other friends.

Yanbu. Everyone feels differently.

I love play dates at my house, but I have a lot of room (in an area where house prices are low: so it’s easier to buy a large house on average income).

I tend to have groups of mums and kids over and it’s a bit chaotic but I don’t mind it. And I don’t mind if other mums don’t reciprocate

I much prefer at home then the kids just run wild while I sit down with coffee rather than constantly running after them. I hate when people suggest play dates anywhere else.

Thanks for all the replies!

Interesting to see that I'm not the only one. I do appreciate that soft play costs money etc and I only suggest that on days when others don't want to go outside if the weather is bad.

But we have endless fantastic outdoor places to go to here and the forest/country parks are really beautiful and free.

I might try hosting this winter and (not with cheesy puff friend) try the "tidy up song". But I'm definitely not in a hurry!

I think both have good and bad points.
Its nice to get out and do things, but sometimes, especially in winter its handy having people over.

If i had one of those days when a delivery was due 7am-7pm, it would be nice to invite people over as I wouldn't be able to get out.

Limit mess by: putting any small toys or those with 100 pieces out of reach. Offer snack or lunch which is semi clean ie not orange wotsits. Set up something for them to start playing with on arrival which is easy to clean ie for 1 and 2-year-olds something like play kitchen out with accessories. remind them at the beginning, that they can play with everything, but they will need to help to tidy before they go so only get out what they are happy to tidy away.

I can relate. My DS1 is almost 3. Hates sharing, gets bored indoors and is better off outside. I find being inside is more draining. Let them run around!