To not want MIL to look after DD 1 day a week?

[User1223422]

DD due imminently and MIL has kindly offered to have her on a Friday when I return to work.

I don’t doubt that MIL isn’t capable of looking after her, my concern is that MIL smokes and (when none of her grandchildren are there) will smoke in her house.

I’m very anti smoking but I can’t tell her what to do in her own home but AIBU in not wanting to accept her free childcare offer?

No, not at all. Just say thanks but no thanks

Can she do it at yours?

If not I’d just be honest. It’s up to you ultimately. You want what you want. Or don’t want in this case.

Yadnbu besides how soon after DC is born does she expect this to start?

I understand your concerns unless she did it at yours? Just say "thank you for the kind offer but we have found a nursery/CM/Nanny. It's tricky but don't feel bad for putting your baby first.

Thanks for the reassurances I’m not being a cow!

She can’t do it at ours as she doesn’t drive so me and DH would have to drop DD off.

Hopefully when DD is born I will feel much stronger to say no

Don’t do it. You can’t win here, if she looks after your baby and is a smoker, she will either smoke in the house where your child is or go outside, fine of baby is sleeping. But her clothes will stink, as will her hands, further you can’t take your eyes off a toddler to go outside and smoke. I know I know plenty of smokers make excellent parents... I freely admit to detest the smell and notion of being force fed other people’s cigarette smoke. Inconsiderate parents.

No way! You are definitely doing the right thing. You will feel stronger about this when baby is here.

I meant I had inconsiderate parents, I’m not making judgments. Smoking in car with windows closed, Twaty stuff like that.

Say no.

Say yes and you will end up feeling negatively about her as you will HATE the fact that your child will come home smelling of fags.

Just don't go there!

Once your beautiful fresh new born is here you and dh will find it easy to say no!