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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think parents don’t automatically deserve 50/50?

27 replies

northeatswest · 27/09/2019 16:06

Ok I might not have worded the title great.
In short my ex DP left me 3 weeks ago if you’ve seen my previous thread. I have a DS4 from previous relationship and me and ex DP have a 10 month old together.
He walked out without warning saying he didn’t feel the same and needed time to think. Throughout the 3 weeks he has been saying he is still thinking etc, we’ve had minimal contact and he has called round twice after work to see DD. Twice. In 3 weeks. He hasn’t once offered to collect her, asked to see her etc I’ve only had the odd text asking how she is.
My issue now is he has contacted me asking when he can have her over night, I explained to him I’m in absolutely no rush for that as he’s never got up with her in the night or morning, and as of yet he’s never even had a full day with her or taken her out alone. I said spending time with her is more important.
I’m now being told I don’t get to dictate as she’s half his and he is entitled to 50/50. Part of me wants to say well you haven’t cared about 50/50 while you’ve ignored us for 3 weeks ...
but AIBU? Do I automatically have to start sending her over night? She’s only ever had one night away from me I don’t see how it would be in her best interests

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/09/2019 17:18

It's not about what parents deserve, to echo previous posters.

Myself and my ex do not do 50/05, this is both due to his job being 24/7 shifts and the fact that we do not think it is in DS's best interests, we think it's better for him to have one "main" base (my house) and then overnights with his dad.

We split up when DS was 10 months and he was having overnights at his dad's straight away but I trust my ex fully and he is a good father so I had no qualms about it.

Chandler913 · 27/09/2019 20:10

I'm more surprised that in ten months he's not took her out.. Got up in the night or morning or spent a day with her!!! What sort of relationship was that????

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