To think that episiotomies are more common than my midwife claims at hospital births?

[Lovinglife2019]

I don't know that many people who've had children recently at a hospital, maybe 6, but ALL of them "had to have" an episiotomy. 1 of them was due to requiring a forceps delivery, but the rest seem to be because the staff told them they would tear really badly otherwise and this was the best thing for them. None of them found the recovery that easy and most of them aren't convinced they actually needed one after talking to other friends who didn't have them and delivered at a midwifery led unit or at home. Don't know how true this is.
When discussing birth preferences, I raised this with the midwife and she said it was just coincidence and actually episiotomies aren't that common.
For medical reasons I will have to deliver at the hospital, and would like to avoid an episiotomy unless medically necessary but am concerned it might be pushed on me.
Am I being unreasonable to doubt the midwife or have lots of people out there had hospital births without episiotomies and it is just coincidence?

I had one with the birth of my first son- emergency forceps delivery, turned out the cord was around his neck. Lots of stitches which were ‘wonky’ and ended up having to have them opened and restitched because they were causing so much pain (and stopped me having sex too)

DS2 I had a second degree tear and had to be stitched up again but healed quite quickly and found it was an altogether better experience.

I know it’s all personal/subjective, but don’t know anyone else that had an episiotomy but lots of my friends experienced tears

Thank you everyone for responding. It is interesting to hear the variety in people's experiences and guess it really will be down to the roll of the dice on the day.
If I have to have one for medical reasons, then so be it. Just wanted to hear that there existed people who had given birth in a hospital and hadn't had an episiotomy with an awful recovery. Thanks everyone!! Really put my mind at ease

If you don't want one (I don't know why anyone would!) say NO.
They cannot force it upon you. It's illegal if you do not consent. Being told you're having one is not consent.

Midwives say they're not common but I believe that's bollocks. They do it sometimes "just for a bit of help". It's really bad practice. They don't consider the risks at all for the mum. There's no benefit for the baby and there's no real evidence to say it expedites the birth.

That's why I don't trust them anymore after my experience and give birth at home. In safety.

I had one with DC1 + a second degree tear after two hours of pushing. No big deal tbh.

platypus Sorry. Cords around babies necks are not always an issue. And using forceps definitely is not how it should be resolved if that is in fact the issue. Even knots in the cords are rarely an issue. It's just the excuse they tell you.

I didn’t have one- I had a “graze” which required some sutures on the left side as she came out facing sideways and her shoulders were stuck but it was fine and healed well with no problems. I don’t know anyone who had an episiotomy at all

I had one with my first - I simply couldn't push him out - he was back to back and it was the most awful delivery. It did heal but even now I still rock sometimes and tend to sit on one buttock
Nothing with my second, no tearing, no gas and air, zilch - she was a dream - completely natural.

cinderellainyellakissedafella: "The midwife would not lie to you op. They have to tell you the truth about medical stuff." - are you sure about that?
You need to think again.

mindutopia: "It's not something women have to give consent for (one of the few procedures in fact where that is the case!)." - COMPLETELY WRONG! Where are you from? It's actually illegal in the UK. I would love to know who told you that or where you got that information from! No one has a right to do anything to you! Midwife care is not mandatory, you can say no and opt out at anytime, including consultant care. Consent should be obtained for any examinations so consent should definately be obtained for surgical procedures!

"And it's not something all women may even known happened unless they asked." - they should be told. Regardless of whether they consented or not or whether the HCP even attempted to obtain consent before performing it any injuries should be mentioned and explained.

"I had two home births, so obviously didn't have one." - they still do it at homebirths but it's incredibly less likely.

Also if a woman sustains a 3rd degree tear it does not mean a csection is her only option for subsequent babies. Consultants aren't exactly pro-natural birth. 🙄

And not being cut doesn't mean you WILL end up with a worse tear. Sometimes believe it or not a woman wouldn't have torn in the first place. 🤯

A few people here saying that yes midwives do lie. They cannot mess around ( officially) when it comes to medical info.

Women having home births or at a birthing centre. Are they really much less likely to have an episiotomy?
I would have thought that, like me, they may start birthing at a birthing centre, so do the majority of their labouring there, then, if things are not going well, have to be transferred to a hospital by ambulance for a ventouse or forceps delivery, therefore requiring an episiotomy.
My first birth was technically a hospital birth, a ‘medicalised’ delivery. The statistics would include me. But that was only half an hour of my labour. Over 24 hours of it was at the midwife led birthing centre.

I’ve had 5 dc, episiotomy with 1st, footling breech and forceps, so very necessary. Slight tear with 2nd but no stitches ( was offered the choice ) no other problems with last 3.

I was about to have one (I'd consented) and the midwife had a scalpel in her hand when I couldn't help but push and tore. Forwards rather than backwards randomly, luckily she was supporting my perineum or I think it would have been a bad backwards tear. 3 stitches, sore for a couple of weeks but manageable with nice thick maternity pads and sitting on pillows.

I have a friend who is a MW in the North East. She said she has been qualified for 8 years and cut 1 episiotomy as a student for a DR who was going to use forceps. She did it because it was part of her training but not compulsory (she didn't need to do it to qualify) just a learning experience. She's never done one since although she said she considers it for about 1/5 babies and might even get as far as giving local anesthetic for it about every 6 months but then the baby comes itself before she does it.

I was in the antinatal waiting room at my local hospital the other day, they had charts of all the birth that month - by far the biggest sections were normal births, 2nd was elective C-Section, and emergency C-Sections and Instrumental births were about 10-15% each.

Sameish figures for the month before.

‘Midwifes aren’t allowed to lie’ - doesn’t mean all (like in all walks of life) don’t. Although I’d like to think in their line of work they would lie only when they think it’ll benefit the patient.

Anyway, anecdotally, I don’t know anyone who had one. I tore with both my births but not badly.

I had 3 vag births, no episiotimies, minor tear third time, couple stitches, no issues

I had one (forceps delivery) but it was a last chance before an EMCS, so, frankly a better option as the baby was born through forceps and all was well.

I unfortunately got infected stitches which was awful but i recovered fine. With my 2nd i toe badly so needed lots of stitches

Basically you need what you need. Both options were the right choice.

I had two. When I was being sewn up second time round, the midwife declared in front of my DP I had been sewn up too tight the first time.

Reason number 548652 I am really glad I had an elective C.

Interesting discussion about consent.

I had one with with DC1. He was born by ventouse after a very long, difficult, back to back labour. I was pretty hysterical by that point; exhausted, drugged up and terrified as the baby was in distress, and I remember shouting “don’t cut me!”. The obstetrician told me firmly that she had to, and went ahead and did it. I didn’t think too much about it afterwards. Baby was safe and healthy and I healed quickly without complications. But typing it out here makes it sound awful.

2 births, both instrumental, 2 episiotomies with normal healing. As I have nothing to compare it to, I just assume that your fanjo is going to sting a bit even if no tears/episiotomy so I just kinda got on with it.

I had one despite making it very clear I didn’t want one
They do it because a cut is easier to stitch than a tear.

Episiotomy first time, episiotomy and tear second time! First time was forceps, second ventouse.

I had a tear and an episiotomy. I had requested no episiotomy unless absolutely necessary - it was! DS decided to come out with his arm up by his head like superman and brought his wrong shoulder out first too. I healed really easily and didn't need painkiller

And as for midwives not lying - during my first labour, I had been asking for an epidural for a few hours, and was now really struggling. She said the anaesthetist was too busy. A doctor came in and saw how distressed I was, and asked the midwife why she hadn’t requested an epidural for me - I heard her tell him it was because I had said I really wanted to use my hypnobirthing techniques - I had never mentioned this at all! I was livid.