To be paralysed by trying to do things perfectly. Can anyone relate?

[Pissoffperfectionism]

I exhaust myself. Am slightly embarrassed to think of it as perfectionism, because I always think of perfectionists as very high achievers with excellent standards!

Me, I am a chronic underachiever and cannot get general life properly organised. I do have adhd so wonder if this being paralysed by perfectionism is a weird part of it?

But. I agonise over minute details of nearly bloody EVERYTHING from stress trying to make the absolute sodding best ever choice and feeling utterly bamboozled. Then often end up either not doing the thing or else panicking and rushing the thing.

This is literally every area of my life - choosing the RIGHT groceries with the BEST value, or doing household tasks the RIGHT way, up to big life stuff. The thing is though sometimes I'm actually quite good at more obviously stressful big stuff because (I think) I do research everything so thoroughly so have a good grasp of whatever situation, and everyone else understands the level of pressure about big thing like for example a house move. But sometimes the wheels fall off the cart here too if there are too many admin steps.

Probably not explaining very well but wondered if anyone else felt their anxiety to always try to make the best decision ever got in the way?

Yes I can relate. It causes my procrastination. Remember that good enough is good enough. And yes starting is hard but it gets easier after that.

Marge Simpson also put it quite well:

Lisa: "I dont understand, is this a happy ending or a sad ending?"

Marge: "It's an ending, that's enough".

Gosh this resonates. The bit about not being able to make a decision because you can see every.single.variable and there's just too much information, too many what ifs. Whilst I can easily see all these options, I struggle applying rational, logical thought patterns so its just a big web of info. I cant do anything especially useful with it, so making a decision is sometimes literally just grabbing one of the least scary options and going with it.

The plus side to this is that I have a way of seeing what others can't about a situation, and a way of thinking that often comes up with stuff that is novel. I'm often approached at work for a random idea or two! It's a huge plus actually.

Practically, I just accept now that I will rarely make the optimal choice. However, I can't go back in time and make another choice to see whether it's any better, and I've made peace with that.