To ask if this would be ok to do?

[PinkButterfly855]

Buy a memory box for a friend/acquaintance. Her mum died suddenly and in shock circumstances

It's a bit personal imo, especially if they're more an acquaintance than a close friend. I'd get flowers instead.

Not appropriate imo.

I agree with Formerbabe
I would send a card and make a donation to whatever the nominated charity is.

I agree it's far too personal

Unless it's a really, really close friend I would go down the flowers or donation route instead

I wouldn't.

I agree with @formerbabe , a memory box is something I would want to make myself . Do you have a nice photo of the deceased lady or know what music / poem she likes perhaps you could frame the photo /poem or make a completion of her fave music .

When my Dad died I DESPISED people assuming closness.

Unless youve been in her life forever, I wouldnt.

Just buy her flowers and be there if she wants to talk.

Its not up to you what she remembers and what she doesnt.

Yes, maybe too personal. Maybe I will just stick with the card. She will be getting tons of flowers 😢

It wasn't my intention to 'make' her feel anything. Just wanted to do something for her but will just stick to the card I think.

Do you just mean an empty wooden memory box? Like you buy people when they get married or have a baby? I don’t see the issue in that. I think PP maybe thought you intended to fill it yourself?

Yes just an empty box x

I was given one after a death in the family by my boss. I was very touched by the thought.

We were given lots of cards and so many flowers a lovely lady who works at a charity shop brought round several vases instead of yet more flowers. (We sent the vases back to the shop later) We also had lots of home baking given to us often from unexpected sources. A lady with chickens brought eggs. It really made us think about how little we had done for people in the past. We just hadn't been on the receiving end before. You don't need to do much just acknowledge the loss. Some small act of kindness will mean so much.

Hm. I don’t think I would want to be ‘pushed’ into filling a memory box.

I’d focus on doing nice practical things for your friend I think.

@PinkButterfly855 Ah I understand now , I thought you meant you were going to fill a box for your friend . Giving a empty box is a little more acceptable ( though I would not do it ) just make sure your friend knows what its for or she may be a bit as to why you gave her a pretty but empty box

Only if you are absolutely sure she would want it. Although when my mum died suddenly I was so bewildered by it all I didn't really notice at the time what people sent/gave me. I remember finding a few sympathy cards weeks afterwards that I didn't even remember receiving.

Having gone through something similar, I think I'd be more grateful for some nice ready meals (like Cook) for nights I didn't need to do self-care, or some bloody good chocs for when I need a big cry and a binge.

Some of my favourite things were a gardening hamper and unusual squash plants - from people who knew my main solace was my garden.

I woudn't have wanted a box.

I wouldn't. After my Dad passed I'd have needed way more time & then to choose a really special item to put things in myself.