To ask about postnatal depression

[Thisisstrange2019]

I've posted in mental health (only 1 reply) and in chat (0 replies) so posting here now in hope of more responses.

I have a lovely 4 month old boy who I adore, but I feel so sad, angry, unmotivated, disengaged the whole time. I dont like going out for a walk or to the shops anymore and hate people visiting. I feel like I'm on my own and have no help yet I don't want anyone to help.

I've talked to dh and we think I might have postnatal depression. If I do, how do I pull myself out of this?

Seek help. See your GP or health visitor. You are not alone

Hi OP

I think it's a medical condition like a broken arm or a UTI, there are things you can do to help but it's not as easy as pulling yourself out of it.

Talk to your health visitor. They run groups for people with PND eg a baby massage group, so you can learn something new, that will help bonding, and meet like minded people. There will be lots of people in the same boat and it might be refreshing to speak to them rather than the competitive NCT type environment.

Try and force yourself out for a walk or something if there is anyone to confide in try and go with them.

If you think that tiredness is a factor then ask for help, stop breastfeeding if its contributing , get your husband to do more night feeds etc

Try and make sure you eat well, see if your husband can make some soup or something one evening or weekend so its eady to reheat and nutritious and easy for you

If this doesnt work visit your GP and get some anti depressants. Everyone I know had resisted them at first and worried about side effects or not feeling themselves then when they have felt they had no choice they've taken them and wished they had started earlier

Good luck and remember lots of people feel like this and it wont be forever

Just 'getting over' depression is such a terrible misconception about the disorder.

Please please engage with the health services early. I work in A+E and see this type of thing end in crisis all too often.

GP, health visitor, charities or organisations. Whoevers more approachable and who you feel you can speak to really

Talk to your health visitor or look online to see if there are any support groups nearby.

So many women feel like this in different degrees and then head out to a mums' group and act all shiny and like it's wonderful. It's bloody hard and post natal mental illness is real. Nobody will judge you. Please talk to someone and get some support. Xx

It's a medical condition so you should seek medical help. GP will understand this kind of thing, it's very common. HV also if you particularly liked her?

It's not something you need to 'pull yourself out of' with no assistance, much like you wouldn't expect to pull yourself out of having a broken arm.

I've had friends who had pnd who said they felt much much better once they were taking medication.

I have recently finished counselling for PND. my HV referred me after gettin me to fill out that questionnaire at every visit. So at the 8 month check she put the referral in. I went to 16 sessions I think it was and I feel better for it. My feelings were a little different to yours, I was more anxious, worrying about things, crying for no reason, I wanted to be around people but didn't really have many people. My doctor also prescribed me anti depressants as a routine check up led onto talks of PND, but I never took them as I wanted to see how counselling went. I wouldn't say I'm 100% fine but I'm much better, but I think it's because I've not been able to make many changes to my lifestyle yet- I'm working on it though.

So speak to your HV or GP. they can definitley give you options! You'll get through it, it's a hard time but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, especially when you seek help!

I think the problem is, with an undiagnosed condition, is that you convince yourself that you are fucked up and you should be ok. I had pnd for months, telling myself that I was weird. I went through the motions every day. I told someone one day, I would cheerfully give dc to a homeless person in the street if noone would judge me. (Polite version of my rant). Go to the gp. It gets so much better.