When to cut a friend loose?

[CAG12]

I feel really mean in asking this, but im constantly irritated.

A friend (ive known her for about a year) CONSISTANTLY makes terrible life decisions. Everytime we meet up for a 'catch up' it turns into a therapy session for her. I feel its a very one sided relationship. The latest is that shes decides to give a relationship a go with a guy thats fucked her around for the last year.

I catch myself being really short with her. Am I being a bitch? Do I just separate myself from her for a bit?

People will tell you you're being a bitch but I get it.
People can be very self absorbed and make things all about them without realising.

If she's selfish, tell her.
If she's just making bad decisions, you should be there for her, if you actually still see her as a friend.

Friendships are like relationships - you don't need an excuse to walk away.
If it's doing you more harm than good (even emotionally), then you need to look after yourself.

Bump

Is she a radiator or is she a drain?

What does she bring to your life?

It is up to you how long you put up with this.

From your post it doesn't sound like you're all that bothered about the relationship?
If you are and she's a good friend, be honest. If not, cut her loose. There's no point being in a relationship, whether that's a friend or partner, if it doesn't serve you both.

YANBU at all.

I think some people (including a lot of Mumsnetters) confuse being a good friend with being an unpaid counsellor. Of course I support my friends through difficult times - I've done so many times. But there is only so much you can do to help someone who won't help themselves and then expects you to repeatedly pick up the pieces. Friendships cut both ways: if one person is always the one unburdening themselves and the other person is always the one listening, sympathising and advising, it's not an equal friendship and eventually, it can really affect the mental health of the person who has to listen to endless complaining and negativity. It's draining and exhausting and unsustainable.

Sometimes there are posts on here from people saying 'My friend has a happy relationship while I have been dumped 12 times in two years and have a non-specific undiagnosed chronic pain condition and hate my job but these days, whenever we meet up she doesn't want to hear about my problems...' and I often think 'I'm not surprised, love.'

Thanks guys! You've pretty much validated how I feel, and made me feel like im less of a terrible person.

I had a friend like this, we went for a coffee and for two hours it was all about her. Every time I tried to tell her any update about myself, she just turned it back on her. I felt emotionally drained after every meeting, if I wanted to be someone’s counsellor then I’d charge £20 for the hour.

Emotional vampires are the worst.