I dont want a baby shower...

[Ghost88]

The look of shock and horror on people's faces when they ask.. 'are you having a baby shower?' and I answer 'no'
BUT WHY????????
Why ask?????? Its like there's only meant to be one answer!
I have been told that i MUST do something before baby is born, afternoon tea or SOMETHING!!!!!!

Is it so wrong to not want one? I hate attending them if im being honest, I couldnt think of anything worse than having one for me!
Also, my mum passed away 5 years ago and I just couldnt bare the thought of it without her anyway!!

Nope not wrong. I refused to have one or go to other people's, they're tacky give-me-presents parties.

Much nicer to have people pop round with a little something (or not) after the baby is born.

I loved mine! Great to see all my friends, and got stocked up on babygrows and nappies before baby was born!

I absolutely hate baby showers. My mum organised a secret afternoon tea with all the ladies in the family. I allowed one balloon as decoration.

Isn't this kind of thing some crazy import from the States?

Yes, but quite a lot of it got lost in translation. In the States, you don't throw your own baby shower. Nor do your family members throw it for you. Your friends organise it, if they like you that much. And it's for first babies. (Basically, those rules prohibit the mum and her family from appearing 'grabby'). The shower happens in the home of the organiser (so the guests aren't paying just to attend, although they might well bring a contribution to the food).

If I sound jaded, it might be that I reached peak baby shower last year when I was invited to pay £30 to attend the baby shower of a woman who I hadn't seen (despite trying to) since she invited me to her wedding, two years previous.

I'm not normally superstitious but I also feel a bit uneasy celebrating a baby whose safe arrival hasn't happened yet.

OP, a baby shower is not something you owe to anyone else. If they spring one on you, try to be graceful about it, and remember to use the heavily-pregnant-and-knackered card to escape before it gets too much.

I didnt have one and got the same reaction as you. Annoying but your not BU

My sister asked me about it when I first told her I was pregnant.

Shut that down quickly with a no.

If anything, we can go out for a normal lunch instead. No rubbish baby theme required.

I've had four kids and never had one. I don't anyone who's had one either.

Silly grabby bollocks. I wanted friends to turn up for a very short visit with a home made lasagna . If they were good friends they could offer to do some laundry.

After baby was born, that is.

I never had one. None of my friends or family expected me to have one. Just be firm!

I didn’t want one and apart from my best friends one that was small with only 8 of us I don’t enjoy attending them

I hate them too, they’re so grabby! Plus I think it’s mad celebrating before the baby is here safe and well.

Don't have one then.
This is not the US, or Ancient Greece for that matter.

Why don't you say you absolutely do not want a baby shower but you would like to go for coffee, tea, a drink with your close friends before the baby comes?that is if you can trust them not to turn it into a shower. , Baby showers seem to have become popular in the UK in the last few years but if I was having a baby now I wouldn't want one either. But you will be very busy and tired once the baby comes with little time for days out with your friends so take advantage of time now.

I don't like them either. I work in a Hotel and I'm amazed at the sheer number of the rubbish things we host. Seems to be a thing at the moment.

I hate them too. They seem very grabby to me. I don't like the thought that people would feel that they HAVE to buy a gift.

I didnt really have one. Felt like it was tempting fate